From a Spark to a Flame
It’s a typical Thursday night in Reno, Nevada. The Stick and the Wal are teeming with chatty college students. In between drinks and dances they glace down at their phones, swiping left and right on Tinder, and messaging through the app hoping to find a hookup for the night.
Mobile dating apps such as Tinder are taking the millennial dating scene by storm. The app has been downloaded over 100 million times and amassed over 50 million users since it’s initial launch in 2012. Increasing numbers of people, primarily those age 18–34, are now turning to their cell phones to look for companionship. The average Tinder user checks their account 11 times a day. With its easy to use interface and hip appeal, it’s easy to see how so many users have gotten hooked on the Tinder game. The app has developed a reputation as an easy and convenient tool for finding a quick fling. One young couple is proving that the app can be used to find much more than a one-night stand.
Erin Grable, 20, and her boyfriend, Phillip Vainer, 22, are one rare breed of Tinder couple that has shown that a Tinder relationship can go the distance. The pair matched on the app in 2014, and their romance has blossomed ever since.
“We met on the app in June. In August we started seriously talking, and we dated from August to October before he asked me to be his girlfriend officially,” Grable said.
When Grable and Vainer took to Tinder, they both happened to be seeking serious partnership. Around half of the users on Tinder are looking for a meaningful relationship. The other half of the app’s audience is only looking for a one-time thing, or just for sex.
“I didn’t really realize the reputation that Tinder had when I started using it. I didn’t know that it was used for hookups a lot. I got Tinder because I was hoping to find a serious relationship,” Grable said, “Phil and I ended up clicking and I wasn’t really expecting that to happen. I wanted it to but it wasn’t something I had planned on.”
Tinder is designed to pair people based on gender preference, age, and location. Users are presented with hundreds of possible matches and must swipe right or left on them based on whether or not they would like to match with them or not, respectively. If two users swipe right on each other’s photos, indicating that they are interested in each other, they are matched and can begin communicating through the app.
“It seems like Tinder wasn’t set up to be a serious dating app. You don’t really get to know the person you are matched with. It just depends on if they meet the age and location criteria and whether or not you find them attractive or not. That’s the only characteristic they’re prioritizing so I think it really is intended for hookup culture,” said Rachel Willimott, a clinical social worker intern at the University of Nevada, Reno counseling services.
Tinder is a good way for young people to meet each other, even if they’re not the most outgoing person.
“Phil and I are both pretty shy, I’m not as shy when I get to know someone, but being around people I don’t know is hard. It’s hard for me to meet guys,” said Grable, “it was nice because Tinder took away the pressure of having to socially go up and talk to someone.”
Tinder helped Grable and Vainer, who are both more on the shy side, connect with each other in a way that likely would not have happened without the assistance of the app.
Tinder users who are seeking a serious relationship as opposed to a hookup have roughly a 50 percent chance of finding someone who wants the same thing.
“I think that Tinder has the potential to be used as a good resource to meet someone, but the person swiping would have to move passed just the physicality of the person they are making the decision on. That’s where I think a potential actual meaningful relationship could happen,” said Willimott, “I think maybe the only way a Tinder relationship could work is if the couple doesn’t hook up, and you kind of delay that and have that friendship first.”
It would seem as though fate smiled on Grable and Vainer the day they were paired on Tinder.
“Phil and I always say that we kind of meant to find each other that way. I think we got really lucky in the sense that we were able to connect with one another on Tinder,” Grable said.
Grable and Vainer are taking their TInderella story to the next level, and plan on moving in together in May.