YOLO

Life is fragile. I could be hit by a bus tomorrow. I may die of cancer before my 50th birthday. Or I might live until my 99th birthday.

My children will only be young once. I want to spend time with them. I want to watch my favorite movies with them and hear what they think about before they go to sleep at night. I want to hear about what their dreams are. I want to watch them dive off the high dive, score a goal, star in a play. I don’t want to miss anything, because who knows what will happen tomorrow?

I don’t want to spend 60 hours a week sitting at a desk, toiling away at a job I hate so that I’ll have piles of money in my golden years. Right now, my body is young and strong. I want to spend all day outside. When I am old, I will be sore and tired and weak. I won’t want to walk 6 miles, bike 10, and swim 2 all in one day. But, today that sounds like a great way to spend my time, so that’s what I’m going to do.

I am not going to give up pizza and beer and sugar and bread in an effort to rid my body of all toxins so that I can live to a ripe old age. I may be shot at the movie theater tomorrow, and then what if I missed out on all that pizza and beer for no good reason? Plus, have you seen some of the people that live into their 90s smoking and drinking to their heart’s content? You just never know.

I am not big on deprivation, punishment, denying yourself what makes you happy. I’m not saying I exist solely on doughnuts and cheeseburgers. I actually try to eat pretty healthy most of the time. I love a good salad, and nothing is better than a ripe nectarine or plum, but I am going to eat some cheese at some point during the day. You can count on it.

The thing is, I am sharing this life with my family, and they want me to be the best mom and wife I can be. But, if I am cranky, I will not be a pleasant person to anyone. I’ll be withdrawn, pinched, unyielding. I will use every bit of mental energy concentrating on what I ought to be doing, rather than what I want to be doing. There will be no smiles, no laughter, no hugs or kisses.

I realize how lucky I am that I can choose to do all these things. If I were a destitute single mom, I would not have the opportunity to choose happiness. I would have to work my fingers to the bone to scrape by, and I would be miserable. The day may yet come where I have to take a job I hate to support my family and myself, so I will continue to live each day to the fullest as long as I am blessed with the opportunity to do so.