Your own, personal bliss

Life can be so hard.

You have to constantly reevaluate your circumstances to see if you are doing what it takes to make yourself happy. And you do have to make YOURSELF happy.

It is not your partner’s job to make you happy.

By the same token, you cannot expect your love and support to fulfill your partner completely — you can’t save someone from chronic depression just by loving him. It would be so awesome if that were the case, but it just is not. We have the ability to help one another, to cheer each other up on a bad day, or to offer solace and support.

Being depressed and loved is better than being depressed and alone, but each one of us is still responsible for finding our own personal bliss.

The hard part comes when your partner decides that what she wants is different than what it used to be. But if you have decided to take this journey through life with another person, you have to be ready to take some unexpected turns.

You have to be ready to embrace whatever it is that your partner needs to feel whole — a new job, another child, a different house, a pet, a hobby. Not only that, but you can’t feel rejected or harbor resentment that you were not enough to fill all her emptiness. At the same time, you need to be sensitive to the fact that your changes are hard on your partner. Appreciate his flexibility and willingness to follow you. A simple explanation of why you’re doing what you’re doing goes a long way.

Sharing your life with someone is all about compromises and sacrifices. It is about supporting each other on this journey and trying to find whatever it is that will make both partners happy, so we grow and change together.

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