Don’t walk out before the encore

Jane Lindsey
Aug 28, 2017 · 4 min read

Last week I went to a gig — a much anticipated gig, an expensive gig, the kind of gig that you get tickets for as a gift and spend months waiting for.

The night was good — the audience was dancing, the band was on top form and then, three songs before the end, the lead singer — the woman we had all come to see — walked off stage and did not return.

We all stood, clapping, chanting, expecting it to be an elaborate encore ruse, until the roadies dismantled the sound equipment and it was clear that the gig was over.

The atmosphere flicked from elated dancing to a confused and stricken ‘what did we do wrong?’. As the man next to me said ‘Well that ruined the vibe’.

Over the next few days social media tried to fill in the gaps — we hadn’t danced enough, we didn’t all know the words, someone had been offensive, the singer was ill, pregnant, a flake.

But really, in the void of true communication, there probably isn’t a single answer. If there is we obviously aren’t worth telling it to.

I had a friendship that ended like that once — suddenly and completely, a walk out, no explanation — leaving a feeling of ‘what on earth have I done wrong?’ The feelings of loss were not to do with the actual friendship, they were tied up with uncertainty, a feeling that I was to blame somehow, a killing of the vibes.

Of course, friendship and fandom are quite different. But there were a lot of people last week, filing confusedly through the exit, who had a relationship with the singer, the music, the songs. People who felt upset, let down, rejected. Listening to their chat, watching the twitter posts unfurl — it was powerful stuff.

It made me think about the relationship that I cultivate with the people who like what I do in my business. I really enjoy talking to people, I love to see what is going on in their lives, what Snapdragon Studio has inspired them to do. I love hearing their stories, tales of what gifts have meant, snippets of their lives.

I spend a lot of time talking to the people who like my business, on Facebook, Instagram, and through email. I know their dogs’ names, I know their favourite flower, in many cases I know what worries them about the world.

They know even more about what goes on in my life — that is my deliberate choice of transparency.

I love this, it is exactly the farm-gate atmosphere that I want for my business, but I do worry what will happen when it gets busy — particularly in the 3 weeks before Christmas — when even basics like showering and eating take a back seat in the overwhelming rush to get orders made and out.

In December I am not going to be spending my time shooting the breeze on my Facebook page or emailing Happy Birthday messages.

So, in the spirit of it always being best to learn from someone else’s mistakes, I have been taking my lessons from the gig. I have been reading all the comments and conversations on Twitter and Facebook and on forums — I have been tracking the language as it moved from bewilderment and hurt to aggression and name calling.

What upset people wasn’t that the singer missed out 3 songs. What upset them was that she didn’t return for the bow, she didn’t say thank you, she didn’t say goodbye.

It wasn’t the missing content that was the problem, it was the missing connection. It was the courtesy, it was the conversation.

Which is good news for me — and for all those other small transparent businesses who open up their lives to customers and well wishers.

It means that, assuming there is a real connection built up the rest of the year, then, when I struggle pre-Christmas or head off on holiday, if I am called away by family crisis or become ill — all I need to do is keep up the courtesy and conversation, or ask someone else to do so, and all will be well.

It is reassuring to know that, as long as I remember my manners, then I can come back for the encore at any time.

I hope you enjoyed this post — I am designer, and chief cheerleader for Snapdragon, an online membership shopping site. If you enjoyed this, please press the hands icon on the left to help other people find me. You can find out more about the membership and our handmade gifts over at www.snapdragononline.co.uk. Thanks for reading, Jane x

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Written by

I gave up a job in academia to follow my dream of running a small creative business in rural Scotland. www.snapdragononline.co.uk

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