The Power of “I Don’t Give a F***”
When You Don’t Care What Others Think, You Suddenly Have the Power
Last night, I was talking to some friends, including another person who was trans. Since she is in her late 30’s and I am in my 50’s, I made an off-hand remark about people waiting until later in life to come out. It was part of a flip remark, but my friend reflected on it seriously. “It sometimes takes people that long to get to the point where they don’t give a F*** what other people think.”
How I Learned to Stop Caring What Others Thought
I hadn’t thought about it that way before, but that was certainly a big part of my coming out story. When talking about my transition, I frequently mention that I probably would never have come out were my mother still alive. I was so beholden to what she thought about me (and worse, that I would have to sit through hearing her telling me all about it) that I didn’t dare even admit to myself just how far it went. I kept all of my secrets — especially about being trans — firmly tucked away in my closet.
A similar hurdle existed with the person I was married to. She knew a lot about my being trans, but what she understood the most was my shame. I blame her Fundamentalist Christian background for her ability to zero in on my sense of…
