What am I even doing here?

It’s 11 PM and I’m not sure why I thought now would be a good time to write my first thingy. I’m not emotional (in the crying tears because of sad or happy things kind of way), but there’s water in my eyes right now. Maybe I’m more emotional late at night, or maybe my mind is filled with the things I want to write but I’m not up for processing them, admitting them, and making them sound like I can grammar (I can’t)(mostly the first two are the issues). Maybe I can save the personal, watery eye creating things for later. My first post shall be about what the heck I’m doing this summer. I’m sure you really really really wanna know.

After I tell people I’ll be spending my summer on a mission trip, they ask me what I’ll be doing (after they ask where, and are silently bummed that I’m not going somewhere exotic and in lots of physical need — nope, U S of A and the popular vacation destination of Ocean City, New Jersey). As much as I wish my mouth couldn't help but cry out “I’M GOING TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT JESUS BECAUSE THAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I COULD EVER DO WITH MY LIFE EVER!”… normally it’s more along the lines of “Well we’ll be with 100 other college students in a big house and we’ll have a job and do group learning and leadership activities at night and go on the boardwalk and talk to people about Jesus and other things and other things and other things.” AKA I hide what I know is the reason I’m there (along with incredible spiritual growth and whatever giant plans God has to rock [or wreck for the good] my world) within other activities, depending on the audience to whom I’m speaking.

The truth is, my idea of a mission trip has changed since I've come to college. Before, the image of a third world country with everybody building things and holding children popped into my head(there is definitely a need for that kind of mission trip, too!). But the term, “The Great Commission”, or “Eternal Perspective” hadn't ever been explained to me, and if somebody told me to picture evangelism, I’d think of somebody knocking a door with a pamphlet.

Late in my high school years, the Truth got me, but from then on I was treading water in a strong backwards spiritual current. I didn't want to admit that if what I believed is true, that if God is a loving, just God, and our sin prevents us from dwelling with Him, but Jesus took on our sin when He died in order that we might be pure in God’s sight, others need to know. Actually(this is what got me), if I don’t think it’s important that they know about what has been done to save them, it’s like seeing them drowning, knowing their round floaty thing has their name on it in the back, but just staring at them sadly. If they don’t want to take it, I can’t help that. How could I possibly love them and not let them know, though?

THAT RIGHT THERE wrecked my world for the good freshman year. THAT RIGHT THERE is my mission in a financially flourishing vacation destination. We’ll be initiating spiritual conversations on the boardwalk, real conversations where we listen to every word they say about their spirituality and their life and their worries and pains and feelings (if they open up about those), and hopefully we’ll share the Gospel with them. Hopefully, prayerfully, they’ll make the decision to follow Jesus. If not, they’ll have a clear idea of what Christians really believe(because shockingly enough, most Americans {although 71% call themselves that} don’t…), and the seed will have been planted.

Do I think it’s going to be comfortable? Absolutely not. I fear rejection more than I fear flying, stinging insects. However, God has done immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine in my life, and His approval of my saved soul is unconditional. In Him I will find my shelter, and for Him will I go.

What‘s the mission of my mission trip? Telling people about Jesus, that’s what.

Peace and Blessings, Jane

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