Mush

And after 2 weeks that’s what I’m finding my heart to be. It hasn’t always been mush, but right now mush is all that is coming out of it. Wait. Let me give you some context to help you understand who I am and where I’m coming from; we will get to where I’m going in a few posts.

I’ve come to a point in my life where I just need to stop. to pause. to take a minute and look around. take a minute and remember. I wasn’t always like this, taking time to reflect rather than live my life by the seat of my pants. Back then, I would rather avoid emotions rather than sort them out like a mature adult and right now, everything in my life is f a l l i n g a p a r t.

I usually like to have things planned down to the T, but right now…it is everything but that. I’ve found myself asking “Who am I?” more this season than in the past and an even bigger question of “Who Is God?” I’m frustrated because I right now, I don’t know. I want to know, but even in the questions I can answer myself are not good enough.

Two weeks into the Bible, and I have these questions whose answers will change the course of this life I’ve been given. I refuse to settle for what I know now. I need to know this God. I need to k n o w Him.