As someone who was a teen mom, I feel capable of telling you my experience. Apart from it being exceptionally hard to do, the weight of what the world thinks of you is on your shoulders, too. At 17, I had my first child, a baby boy, and in the moment of meeting his eyes, my world did a literal 360. My age didn’t cross my mind, school didn’t cross my mind, doubtlessly, nothing in the world could faint the love I had for that boy within seconds of seeing him for the first time.
As a teen mom, I got a lot of doubt, a lot of looks in the grocery store, a lot of “oh, is that your little brother?” Not once did someone congratulate me on my baby as a teen mom because society sees it as this lousy, dreadful thing that happens to teenagers. Society assumes that the teenager must be careless, or furthermore thoughtless. But in complete honesty, getting pregnant at 17 was the best thing that could have happened to me. It changed my life for the better, it turned my life around and showed me the true meaning of life, happiness. You can’t get happiness from anywhere like you can your own, precious child.
Was it demanding? Yes. Was it tiresome? Yes. Did it happen to be one of the hardest milestones I’ve ever had to carry out? Also, yes but it came so effortlessly and my age didn’t play a factor in my parenting in any way. I grew up a lot faster than my classmates had to, of course, but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t change my path for the world.
Again, at 19, I had my second baby boy, who once again changed the center of my entire universe, everything shifted for me and in the blink of an eye I was a teen mom of not one, but two baby boys who lit the center of my life up like a million fireflies in the dead of the night. Again, I got the “oh my, she doesn’t know what she’s in for,” and “oh, wow she needs a new hobby” but I didn’t let my guard down and continued to be the best mom I could be, even with the doubt of the world sizzling against me.
Teen motherhood isn’t a walk in the park, it isn’t fun or even easy, but it sure as hell didn’t stop me from being the best mommy I could be. The older ladies in the park whispering didn’t stop me from bringing my children to the park, the snide looks in the hospital at doctors appointments didn’t stop me from keeping my kids health in check, and most importantly the talk of the friends and their parents I thought I could trust didn’t stop me from pulling my big girl panties up and being a damn good mom to the boys who changed my life.
Doesn’t it almost seem unfair that teen moms get all the heat? “She must be this, she must be that,” but never a genuine compliment? Let’s be honest, we can agree teen moms have it the hardest of all the moms. We get looks, judgment, whispers, eye rolls, and sly comments way too often. We are basically set up for failure by society, essentially expected to fail.
All in all, being a teen mom comes with so much judgment, so much so you will cry because you don’t feel good enough, you will feel left out because you’re not old enough, you will feel distant because you don’t fit in with your friends, you will feel defeated because let’s be honest, motherhood can feel reclusive and exhausting. But if there’s something, anything you take from me, do not give up, believe in yourself because despite what society says about teen moms, you are not it. You are brave, courageous, and beyond important, and your baby is lucky to have a mom who stepped up at a young age and did the damn thing. If I can do it, you can too.
