It’s ok to let your perceptions of femininity and perceived obligations of upholding media standards of beauty go. Just let it go. It’s making you miserable. You can break up with these ideas and learn to be happy with yourself and feel whole without the need to cover it up. It is possible, but you’ve got to change the way you think about yourself and your role as a woman, as a human. No one is making you miserable but yourself. Once you come to terms with that, I hope you can find some peace.