some days we talk about the weather

some days we talk about the people who died


from a message to an old old friend about another old old friend, the weather (already changed and always changeable — wait five minutes — and the day) and the days


it’s really October now. almost like vancouver, the air, the warm but cold. and the leaves and the wet.

p is here til the middle of the week or so, struggling: two steps forward twelve steps back

it’s not a twelve step program, but trying to stay in the minute, or the hour

and later


I have the attention span of a fruit fly, although I’m told fruit flies have brains very much like human ones or something something that makes them such good research fodder.

I don’t know

have so little patience with the tiny bits and pieces of outside and other work I’m supposed to be doing. but trying.

trying is so elastic a word. it means all it means

an even older friend, if length of connection is the measure of old, appears with little notice, as she does, from away. in thirty six hours we reenact our entire friend marriage all thirty four years

small anger, big love, small gesture, small words. big words. some times we are

eroded. worn like beach stones, not rasped. anymore.

what love is

two people would have done anything for me

one person said that. in those words: I will do anything for you.

both of those people gone from this mortal coil.

for whom would I do that anything?

would I have for them?

it’s a horrible photo of her, and a not lovely one of me.

but we move forward. she sends a photo of boots : arche damage

I write back: arche typical, ask Jung.

we move on

we move forward

two steps, twelve steps, three potato, four.

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