Beware the Dream Snatcher

or EOP, same difference

Should I write while I am emotionally charged…

My dreams (ambitions, aspirations future plans) have been under attack this week, twice… by the same person.

Any other attacks by anyone else would have gone unnoticed, most people that I have allowed that power over me are usually super supportive. Now, I knooooow there are people who face persecution of their creativity and foresight every day but I wont pipe down because of that, that’s a lame excuse to not write my mind.

This is for those of us who have to endure dream snatchers in the form of lovers, partners, parents, siblings, other family members, best friends, religious leaders basically anyone we love and look up to, especially those close to us.

Just to let you know, I feel you… As I sat there and listened, basking in her negativity (there are some older people you have to demonstrate an African type of respect *sigh* another post another time), I really wanted to say, “Please darling, fuck right off” but err… my manners came through and she was spared.

Sometimes, you will absolutely have to endure certain punches for the sake of progress, peace and for the sake of saying, ‘ok, next’. These are minor battles in comparison to the wars life will throw at you especially in business and relationships.

Every Dream Snatcher (or if you are super African, an EOP, ‘Enemy of Progress’) is usually looking out for you and they are simply “caring”. With that said, there is no one way to identify or deal with them all. Your Dream Snatcher may be the very person mentoring others to greatness, sad but true.

So here is how to deal with them since we cant get rid of them, I’ll tryyyyy to keep it short and sweet because this will be a bitter pill for the Snatchers amongst us.

  • PROTECT YOUR DREAMS by any means necessary. Be brave and be strong. Courage is just action while afraid, we will always come across fear. So take courage in your good moments so you are empowered when the Snatchers come around. You would have built momentum to keep you going through it. You may slow down but you’ll still be moving, slow mo is better than no mo. Action and Momentum
  • Build an armour of defence against this type of “caring”. How do you do this? Firstly recognise how their words/ actions affect you. Do they affect you emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally? How long for? Is it you that has given to much power and over-thought to their actions or is this person actually dangerous to your vision? Use that info to build around your points of weakness. For example, If it’s emotional, gain full control of your emotions around them when topics pertaining your vision come up. Have an emotional outlet of sorts (one that has no links with your said EOP). Adapt yourself to what FEELS right to you while maintaining your core values, social/cultural etiquette, morals etc. Remember you’re not living to defend yourself from people you’re just taking control of that part of you they seem to have power-share over. Self awareness and adaptability to the subtlest degrees is the way
  • Be the most well informed person about your ambitions but always accept that in the grand scheme of things, you don’t know anything at all — no, you really don’t. So, avoid dismissing everything they say to you because, they do actually talk sense (sometimes) and drop a few gems you could use. Just grow some nuts and be resilient, be thick skinned enough to admit when they are correct yet smart enough to disregard all other Bull faeces in between. Information, Humility and Discernment are key here
  • Develop discipline that parts them from your vision. No talking about it, no showing them anything and if you must, seriously limit their info intake. Tell them what you don’t mind the whole world knowing, repeat and paraphrase if you must. You ever asked somebody something and they’re ‘talking but ain’t saying nothing’ — do that. Emotional Intelligence needs to kick in at some point, you’ll need it anyway
  • Kill your conscience and compartmentalise. That is the tried and true method of a man (extremely intelligent, late 30’s, handsome, successful, unfaithful) who shared how he mentally deals with his marital affairs. I don’t condone cheating neither do I care for judging all I know is that, “Kill your conscience and compartmentalise” is the best thing I have ever heard. I didn’t realised that I could do this. It’s a bit psycho but you simply have to lock off your emotions and everything that tells you that you should open up your big mouth, to divulge info about your plans, to this particular EOP. Silence or ignore sentimental parts of you that want to perform a darling ‘show and tell’ or show-off while fully knowing they will attack your genius. That is sabotage of self. Cut it out. In addition, you have to NOT care how twisted this will sound or feel to you. It’s less twisted than telling people stuff, when you know they will use that information against you, to make you feel small, or like you’re crazy, unrealistic, or instil their own fears and limits on you. What are you, a masochist… Quit that and get overrrit! If you want it, you just need to get over yourself and your emotions. Unwavering self, time and energy preservation is a major key
  • I am a thoroughly optimistic person, so much so, that I like to drown myself in the unrealistic, safely in the confines of my mind of-course (later outside it but that’s another post). I’m a dreamer even when I know I’m over doing it, I like to do that, it’s me, I enjoy those creative moments. Those moments of inspiration where the right-hand side of the brain is saaaaucin on one-hunned, not my fault, I’m an artist darling. So you can see how I have developed an acute phobia of a ‘No’ person, like, that’s the first thing they say when faced with a task. An ‘I can’t’ person arrghhh why would you opt for that thought process. I don’t mind a realist, a pessimist who is logical, whatever, be you, do you BUT… the one thing I would avoid like a plague is an ill-informed pessimist. Jesus Christ I am so scared it’s numbing. It’s not the actual human, it’s the persisting mindset, the off energy… fear breeds fear (working on it) this is a Dream Snatcher even if they are an EOP for their own self. Avoid people that walk like EOP’s, smell like EOP’s because they might just be coming for you. Believe and be optimistic, you wont be using any more energy than the EOP
  • Above all, avoid spending to much time or energy on such people, take the moments as they come and know that this is the currency you will have to use for what you want and that's ok. Be better at being positive than they are at being negative.

Well, least it has worked for me thus far.

J