Claws: A mysterious black jaguar is terrorizing up-country Maui
Episode 3: Mice will Play
EPISODE THREE: CAT AND MOUSE
DAY FIVE: 7/5 SUNDAY
EXT. THE MAKAWAO ICE HOUSE — NIGHT: The sun is not yet up, when the workers arrive to find the now headless, partially eaten dead fish on the ground. There are distinct claw marks from the big cat dragging it off the truck. There are large, dried fish-blood paw prints leaving the scene
Worker A to his co-worker, “What da fuck, brah?”
Worker B confused, “How’d da buggah get down dere?”
Worker A noticing the large bites and claw marks, “Look like somebody was chowing down…”
Worker B, “Bettah call da boss…”
Worker A pulls out his phone and places a call
INT. IVY’S JEEP — DAY — MOVING: As Ivy drives by the Temple of Prosperity with Lucky on her way to Bethany’s, she looks over to see two 60-ish hippies screaming at each other in front of the “angel wings” painted on a portion of the “Temple.” The tiny silver haired woman screaming at a much-taller long-haired man is wearing a tie-dyed tank top with a Peace Symbol on it. Both are wearing Birkenstocks. The woman is Zara — a student in Ivy’s class
Ivy to Lucky, “See those hippy dip-shits? One of them is in my class. They’re the fucking owners — Temple of Prosperity my ass”
EXT. THE COPELAND ESTATE — MOMENTS LATER: Ivy pulls in and is greeted by Jack and Russell. Lucky hangs his head out the window. Jack and Russell express their joy when they see he’s in the Jeep. Ivy lets Lucky out and there is much butt sniffing and tail wagging. Bethany is in the greenhouse trimming a pile of buds. Ivy gets out and enters the greenhouse.
Ivy, “You ready?”
Bethany without looking up from trimming, “I stay ready…”
Ivy, “Where’s Chance?”
Bethany, “He already left — he’s on the fund-raising committee.”
Ivy. “Then we stay going…”
Bethany grabs her purse and they jump into the Jeep.
Bethany petting Ivy’s dog, “Hey Lucky — who’s a good boy?”
Ivy, “So I saw the owners of the Temple of Poo fighting under the fucking angel wings. Lucky saw them too — right boy?” Lucky barks sharply in agreement.
Bethany chuckling, “Temple of Poo that’s funny. Have you ever had one of their high colonics?”
Ivy sharply, “Fuck no!”
Bethany, “There very cleansing. I’ll buy one for you if you like…”
Ivy, “Are you trying to say I’m full of shit? Thanks, but no fucking thanks.” She pauses to reflect, “I shudder to think how much shit flows through that place.”
Bethany, “Wanna leave Lucky here so he can hang with Jack and Russell?
Ivy, “Shoots.”
EXT. ULUPALAKUA RANCH/MAUI WINERY — DAY: The Maui Polo Club is holding a fund raiser at the Ulupalakua Ranch. Bethany whips her Jag in sending several peacocks flying up into the trees. Bethany and Ivy exit the Jeep and enter the magnificent grounds where Captain James MaKee planted exotic trees from around the world in the mid-nineteenth century. The air is filled with bird song. They walk over to where Chance is talking to Sylvan and Kitty.
Ivy looking round says to Chance and Sylvan, “Nice day for fleecing money from the rich folk”
Chance walks over, “Morning ladies.” He plants a kiss on Bethany’s cheek, “Darling”
Bethany, “Dearest”
Ivy mock gags, “Sickest”
Chance laughs, “Sadist”
EXT. THE ICE HOUSE — MOMENTS LATER: Morris Pavao has returned to collect his fish only to find the workers are cleaning up around the half-eaten carcass. He gets out of his white, Toyota Tacoma and says,
Morris in disbelief, “What da hell happened to da fish?”
Worker A, “Look like sum-ting came last night an chowed down…”
Worker B pointing to the paw prints, “Look like one lion or tiger or sum-ting la dat”
Morris, “A lion, really?”
Worker B shrugs, “…or one tiger.”
Worker A, “What you like do wit ’em?”
Morris, “Dunno…”
Worker B, “Geeve ’em to the humane society — can use ’em for cat food…”
Morris examines the carcass and snaps several pics of the claw marks as well as the tracks before helping the workers load the remains of the fish back onto a dolly and into the ice house cooler.
INT. ULUPALAKUA RANCH MUSEUM — MOMENTS LATER: Ivy, Bethany and Kitty are in the King’s Cottage reading about the history of the ranch and looking at the various ranch paraphernalia on display
Ivy, “Seems kinda strange we have polo grounds on Maui.”
Bethany pointing to a large portrait of King Kalākaua hanging above an antique polo mallet, “You can thank the Merry Monarch.”
Ivy, “Kalākaua?”
Bethany, “Yup — he loved horse racing and polo. First polo match was held on Oahu in 1880.”
Kitty joins in, “Sylvan was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and a polo mallet in her hand. Her great, great grandfather Louis von Tempsky is considered the Father of Polo on Maui. She has a bunch championship cups he won on his horse Jubilee.”
Ivy shaking her head, “Who knew?”
Bethany, “Von Tempsky — what is that?”
Kitty continues, “Prussian via New Zealand. He and his brother bought a bunch of land in Kula in the 1880s and founded ‘Erewhon Ranch’ — we live there now.’”
Ivy, “Erewhon? Sounds mystical — like Brigadoon.”
Bethany interrupts, “What’s it mean?”
Kitty, “It’s an anagram for ‘Nowhere’ — from some book this New Zealand guy wrote in 1870-something…”
Ivy laughs, “So you live on ‘Nowhere Ranch?’”
Kitty, “Correct.”
Ivy, “Doesn’t that make it kinda hard get mail?”
Bethany, “Nowhere Ranch?” She pauses and thinks, “Well, at least it’s not Neverland.” She looks at Kitty and Ivy and says, “Too soon?”
INT. NATIONAL MUSEUM, MEXICO CITY — MOMENTS LATER: Dr. Hau is in his office. He is busily packing a small, beautifully hand-tooled leather case — the size of a small carry-on. The top of the case is raised, and we cannot see what is inside. The lid of the case has an image of the Mayan calendar tooled in the shinning black leather.
Pia is nowhere to be seen. Dr. Hau picks up the boar’s tooth off his desk; it is suspended in a clear liquid, encased in plastic, he places it in the mysterious, embossed case. Next, he holds up the spear point; it’s been wrapped in bubble wrap, but we can clearly see its shape. He also places it in the case. Pia enters through the office door holding two coffees. Dr. Hau tosses in a manila file filled with papers, quickly snaps the case close and locking it.
Pia handing him a coffee, “All packed?”
Dr. Hau takes a sip, “Yes…you?”
Pia, “Yes and I downloaded our boarding passes.” She holds out her phone, “Diplomatic clearance?”
Dr. Hau takes another sip of coffee, “That’s so I can transport objects of cultural patrimony internationally…” changing the subject, “Excited for Maui?”
Pia muses, “Maui yes — flying all day not so much.”
EXT. THE GROUNDS OF THE ULUPALAKUA RANCH/MAUI WINERY — MOMENTS LATER: Ivy, Kitty and Bethany are walking over to the what is known as the Janus Statue — located adjacent to the wrongfully named “Old Jail.”
Ivy, “Check this out. One of Captain MaKee’s plowmen uncovered it.”
Bethany, “What the fuck is it? It looks like it is pledging allegiance.”
Ivy, “They call it the Janus Stone after the Roman God of Rain.”
Kitty, “I didn’t know Hawaiian carved in stone”
Ivy, “For the most part they don’t. A few statues — similar — to this one where found on Necker Island”
Kitty, “Mokumanamana?”
Ivy, “That’s the one. Archaeologist Kekuewa Kikiloi did his dissertation on Mokumamamana for UH Mānoa. He found the upright stones line up with the northern most transect of the sun the summer solstice — what Hawaiian’s call ‘Ke alanui polohiwa a Kāne’ — the black shining road of Kāne.”
Bethany, “It’s two-faced.” There is a large groove running along the top and down the sides bisecting the stone”
Ivy, “It is double sided with mirror imagery.” She walks over and runs her finger along the groove, “And this makes me think it was once hafted to something.”
Kitty intrigued, “Like what?”
Ivy speculating, “Dunno — the prow of a canoe maybe?”
Bethany yawns, “Boring.”
EXT. ULUPAKAKUA RANCH/MAUI WINERY — MOMENTS LATER: Chance is checking his e-mail messaged on his phone under one of MaKee’s 100+ year old, exotic trees. The forest birds have gone silent. A lone peacock tail feather flutters down from the tree above — landing directly in front of Chance. He bends over and picks it up, then looks up tracing its trajectory but see nothing but trees and blue sky. Chance puts his phone in his pocket, turns and walks toward the King’s Cottage twirling the peacock feather between his fingers. High in the tree above the cat has a limp peacock clamped in its jaws.
INT. KING’S COTTAGE AT ULUPALAKUA RANCH/MAUI WINERY — MOMENTS LATER: Sylvan and Kitty; Bethany, Chance and Ivy, Cat and Roy-Boy, Jake and Brian, Everett is pushing a heavily sedated Calico around in a wheelchair.
Calico over her shoulder to Everett. Her speech is markedly slurred and she’s having a hard time keeping her eyes open, “Why won’t you believe me?” She turns to the group and declares loudly, “There was a naked fucking man under the bleachers…”
Ivy and Bethany and others snicker
Everett whispers to her, “Settle down Cali — you’ve been through a lot”
Calico loudly, “…he caused the collapse” Looking around for any believers, “The naked man. I saw him — he pulled out the pins…”
Bethany who is now holding the peacock feather turns to Ivy and says under her breath, “Did she just say he ‘pulled out his penis’”
Ivy, “Pins NOT penis. Get your mind outta the fucking gutter!”
Bethany taps her with the feather, “What in the world would Calico be doing under the bleachers?”
Ivy pushes the feather out of her face and whispers back, “Truly boggles the mind…”
Everett apologizing to the group, “So sorry folks. She doesn’t know what she’s saying — she’s outa her mind on pain meds…”
Calico swings her purse at Everett who ducks and barely misses a direct hit, “No I’m NOT! Fuck you Everett — you fucking banana.”
Everett whispers to her harshly, “Stop it sweetie, or I’m taking you home.”
Calico swings at him again, “You’re yellow on the outside — white on the inside — and slippery as fuck — just like Jake”
Jake comes over and says firmly, “Cali, sweetheart, you need to calm down…” He turns to Everett and whispers, “Shut her up or get her the fuck outta here…”
Calico venomously to Jake, “Fuck off Jake — you’re no better.” She narrows her eyes and looks him up and down, “I know things…” She turns and shouts to the guests, “Why won’t any of you fuckers believe me? There’s a murdering lunatic running around out there and nobody fucking cares…” She starts sobbing
Cat walks over to Everett and mouths “I got this.” She kneels beside Calico’s wheelchair and says, “I believe you. I care, but you’ve gotta calm down Cali…” Gesturing to her leg in a cast, “…for your own sake…
Calico sniffs, “He did — he tried to kill me…”
Cat calmly, “The naked man? So I heard.” Cat gets up, “Let’s go somewhere more private” She pushes Calico into the Maui Winery back office and closes the door, “What exactly did he look like?”
Calico, “I dunno — handsome — 30-ish, black hair, olive skin, totally ripped…” She gestures to her crotch, “… well-hung oh — and uncircumcised”
Cat asks, “Local boy?”
Calico adamantly, “Definitely not — he looked more — ah — exotic?” She looks at Cat suddenly remembering an important detail, “Oh yea — and another thing I’ll never, ever forget — his piercing green eyes staring right through me” She shudders remembering his look.
Cat, “Hey Cali, got any more pain pills?”
Calico pulls a large bottle out of her purse. Cat grabs them and reads the label. She opens the bottle and pops one.
Calico upset, “Hey bitch — those are for me!”
Cat shakes two more out of the bottle and hands them to Calico. She pops them in her mouth. Cat hands the pill bottle back to her and Calico puts it back in her purse.
Cat, “Had to bitch — I can literally feel your pain…”
The participants are milling around discussing Calico’s outburst
Kitty to Sylvan, “A naked man?”
Sylvan sips her wine, “That’s scarier than any phantom cat or fucking ghost dog…”
Kitty nods “Agreed”
Chance and Roy-Boy are outside the office door
Chance to Roy-Boy smiling raises his glass, “The fun never ends…”
Roy-Boy — distracted — raises his glass, “You can say that again…”
Chance seeing that Roy-Boy is distracted, “Dude, what’s with you? You seem a little off. What up? Everything cool with Cat?”
Roy-Boy, “It’s all good. I just need to get back on the water and away from all of…” He gestures to the participants in the room, “…this. Not really my scene.”
Chance, “Polo?”
Roy-Boy, “Nah — the whole fucking rodeo week. Cat and I are all good but now that fucker Jake has her babysitting Psycho Barbie and I’m out here stuck…”
Chance feigns hurt, “…talking to me?”
Roy-Boy laughing, “No brah — just tired of dealing with one cluster-fuck of a nightmare after another. Yesterday, was just the cherry on the shit-Sunday.”
Jake walks over to Everett and whispers to him
Jake , “Why the fuck did you bring her here in that condition?”
Everett sheepishly, “She insisted — and, you know, Cali gets what Cali wants…”
Jake under his breath whispers to Everett, “Get her under control.” He thinks for a moment, “What exactly did she mean when she says she ‘knows things?’ What things?” He looks Everett in the eye trying to get a read, “I sure the fuck hope you haven’t told her about our little — er — situation”
Everett breaks eye contact shaking his head, “No, no, no — that was the pills talking. I swear to you, Jake.”
Roy-Boy walks over and knocks on the office door
Roy-Boy calls through the door, “All good, Cat?”
Cat responds as Calico slowly nods out, “Better now.”
Cat opens the door and pushes Calico into the main reception room. She is out cold. Everett runs over.
Cat handing off the wheelchair to Everett and says sarcastically, “You’re welcome”
Everett says some feeble goodbyes and leaves with Calico.
ETX. KANAIO — DUSK: The sun is setting, and the stars are coming out in Kanaio. The Sierra Club is leading a star gazing tour led by renowned Papa Kilo Hoku (star priest) Lono Makahiki. Inanea Apana is passing around the sign in sheet.
Inanea, “Everyone got something to lie on?”
The star gazers nodding hold up various items such as yoga mats and sleeping bags.
Inanea, “Good. And something warm to wear? It gets very chilly after midnight…”
The star gazers nod. The last star gazer hands Inanea the sign-in sheet.
Inanea, “Mahalo!”
Lono walks over, “Aloha kakou!” He turns to the twilight sky and says, “As you can see the show’s about to start. Due to our isolation — and thereby lack of light pollution — the star gazing in Hawai`i is unparalleled. Moku o Keawe — or as it’s more commonly know the Big Island — is the home to the thirteen largest telescopes in the world — while here on Haleakala we have six with two more in the planning stages.
Star Gazer 1 interrupts, “I hear there’s been lots of recent protests over the proposed Solar Telescope here on Maui and the Thirty Meter Telescope proposed for Mauna Kea. What’s your take?”
Several other star gazers nod in agreement
Lono, “As a scientist I’m thrilled — as a kanaka maoli not so much. Right Inanea?
Inanea, “Right!”
Lono continues, “These volcanoes are sacred sites. I think that’s hard for some folks to wrap their heads around, but they are. Many kanakas see the construction as desecration. Mauna Kea is the home to Poliahu — the snow goddess, and Haleakala — literally ‘the house of the sun’ — is where the demigod Maui trapped the sun for his mother. If that weren’t enough, there are numerous burial caves in the crater and other important cultural features such as navigational heiau — designed for, well, star gazing.”
Star gazer 2, “What’s a hay- eee-ow?”
Lono laughs, “A heiau? It’s a shrine or temple — there are 78 of them in the Kaupo district alone.”
Star Gazer, “They were used to track the stars?”
Lono, “Yes — but not always for navigation. For example, Lo’alo’a — located just above the old Kaupo School is a heiau luakini and was used for human sacrifice. They are also known as po`okanaka — literally human head — a place where captives were sacrificed to Kū God of War. Archaeoastronomy is a burgeoning field these days. Do you all know what precession is?”
A few star gazers shake their heads yes, but most shake their heads no.
Lono continues, “Essentially, Earth wobbles on its axis.” He takes his finger and draws a large circle in the sky, “Every 26,000 years the Earth’s axis completes its rotation — so the night sky we’re looking at is different from the night sky ancient kanakas viewed. A few years ago, UC Berkeley did a study and found that Lo’alo’a heiau was orientated at a 66-degree azimuth which — at the time — seemed odd. However, when they rotated the night sky back to the time it was built around 1720 by Maui’s last reigning monarch, King Kekaulike, and — low and behold — the heiau lines up perfectly with the rising and setting of the Makali`i — or as you might know it, the Pleiades.”
Star gazers are impressed
Lono continues, “And, as many of you may already know, the rising of the Makali`i in the night sky signals the end of the reign of Kū and the beginning of the time of Lono — God of fishing and agriculture. This would be important to know as human sacrifice is kapu or tabu during the time of Lono.
Star Gazer 1, “And you’re named after him?
Lono, “No — I’m named after the great chief Lono Makahiki — of whom I am a direct, lineal descendent.
Star Gazer 2: “What does Makalee-ee mean?”
Lono, “Little eyes. Now let’s turn our attention to Ka Maku Nui o Māui or as you might know it the constellation of Scorpius. Ka Maku Nui o Māui or Maui’s fishhook it the largest constellation in the South Pacific and straddles the brightest section of the Milky Way or as kanaka call it Hoku-noho-aupuni meaning ‘ruling star.’ How many of you have seen Disney’s Moana?”
A bunch of star gazers hands shoot up
DAY SIX: 7/6 MONDAY
EXT. KANAIO — NIGHT: It’s just after midnight. They are lying on their backs on a large rock platform looking at the night sky.
Lono, “It’s just past midnight and we are now entering the time of au-moe — or the tide of sleep. You can see Na Hiku literally “The Seven” — you might know it as The Big Dipper.
Star Gazer 3, “Where’s Orion’s Belt?”
Lono, “Na Hei-Hei O Nā Keike? Not visible this time of year.”
Star Gazer 2, “What does Nah Hay-Hay — or whatever — mean?”
Lono, “Na Hei-Hei O Nā Keike? The Cat’s Cradle”
Star Gazer 1, “I wish that big cloudy thing would go way…”
Lono, “That’s no ‘big cloud’ that’s Hoku-noho-aupuni or the Milky Way. As the earth spins on its axis the Milky Way passes the meridian and turn west. Kanaka’s refer to this time as, “ua huli ka ia’ meaning ‘the fish has turned.’ How many of you heard about the interstellar object spotted by the Pan-STARRS telescope at Haleakala Observatory in October 2017?
A smattering of hands go up
Lono, “At first they thought the object was a Ka Piko or comet; it was later reclassified as an asteroid because of the absence of a coma — a tail. Once identified that it originated outside our solar system, they had to create new nomenclature. Named `Oumuamuaa — which roughly translates to ‘scout’ or ‘first distant messenger’ it is what is now known as an Interstellar Object.”
Star Gazer 4, “Like a UFO?”
Lono, “More like messenger sent from the distant past to reach out to humanity. Did any of you see that bright green comet early Wednesday morning?”
The star gazers all shake their heads no.
Inanea, “I did — it’s an omen.”
Star Gazer 3, “Really?
Lono agrees, “Green comets are thought to be the harbingers of disaster and a sign of some sort of apocalyptic upheaval on Earth. PanSTARRS identified one in 2017.”
Star Gazer 1, “Did anything bad happen?”
Lono, “Well, that was the year California caught fire.”
Star Gazer 4, “Whoa — that’s right!”
Lono continues, “The Maya think a green comet heralds the return of Kukulkan — the feathered serpent. Kanaka maoli associate them with volcanic eruptions and Pele”
Star Gazer 4, “Way cool.”
Lono, “Way cool indeed.”
EXT. THE AU’U CHANNEL BETWEEN MAUI AND LANAI — DAYBREAK: The Top Dog is halfway across the Au`au channel heading towards the back side of Lanai. Big-Rig dumps the now-ripe contents of the fish bag over the side. She grimaces at the smell and then rinses it out. When she’s done, she begins to set out the lines. She puts an enormous pusher on the short corner and secures it to the outrigger with a rubber band she has wrapped around wrist.
One of the charter members, “What exactly are you trying to catch with that thing?”
Big-Rig looks at the sapphire blue ocean, “Out here, there be monsters…”
She takes a teaser out and puts a silver jet head with red, white and blue skirts on the long rigger. Once she has four lines rigged. She climbs the tuna tower with the fifth rod and reel and sends a small popper straight down the middle of Top Dog’s wake. Roy-Boy smiles approvingly at the array. Big-Rig checks the ikima and sees the catfish are missing. Big-Rig joins him on the fly bridge.
Big-Rig, “Looks like the scrubs who stole my lucky trunks took the fucking catfish too.”
Roy-Boy shakes his head, “Time to install a security camera.”
Big-Rig, “They’ll just steal that too”
Roy-Boy, “Fucking dirt bags — I hope they choke on a catfish bone”
EXT. UPPER MALIKO GULCH — MOMENTS LATER: Ivy’s Jeep is parked in the pasture above Maliko Gulch — it is a gorgeous wind-free morning. Ivy is sitting in the front seat programing one of her drones. Lucky is in the passenger seat.
She turns to Lucky, “Time to mow the lawn. Come on boy, let’s go”
They hop out and she launches the self-piloting drone which begins to fly parallel transacts across a large section of the gulch — its progress “mowing the lawn” as regular “stripes” of data appear on her laptop screen. She is flying a LIDAR Drone capable of 3-D mapping of cultural features through the forest canopy.
She picks up her phone and texts Jake, “Flying drones now. LIDAR and Infrared — perfect conditions”
Jake texts back, “Great. Keep me in the loop.”
She texts him a thumbs up emoji.
She reaches into her Jeep and pulls out a second drone.
She turns to Lucky “Let’s see if there are any heat signatures.” Lucky cocks his head to the side, “Maybe we’ll get lucky and find a lava tube full of burials…” She says to Lucky, “…that would shut this shit show of a development down”
She checks the laptop screen and sees that several features are starting to appear using data being recorded by the LIDAR drone. There are several trails — likely made by pigs and/or deer, but other features — such as terrace walls are beginning to appear. The drone is going over an area that appears to be an ancient village and several small platforms are starting to be defined.
She turns to Lucky, “Bingo.”
She gets out her phone and texts Jake. “Tell Brian I need to go in”
Jake, “Find something?”
Ivy, “Looks like”
Jake, “What?”
Ivy not wanting to alarm Jake she lies, “Some trails — some ag terraces — I’ll know more after I go in.”
She turns her attention to programing the second drone. She launches it and begins to fly transects over the gulch just below the first drone. She converts her laptop view to double screen, so she can watch the progress of both the drones. As she does so, a substantial, six-sided structure is beginning to appear at the top of the gulch.
Ivy to Lucky, “Look boy, a notched heiau” He cocks his head she continues, “with a distinct canoe corner.” Lucky seems indifferent.
She receives a text from Jake, “On his way”
Ivy texts back a thumbs up
While she is fixated on the data being recorded by the first drone, on the second screen the Infrared drone has picked up a strong heat signature — one that appears to be moving rapidly beneath the under-story.
EXT. WAILUA NUI PENINSULA — MOMENTS LATER: Kamapua`a is planting huli in one of the lo`i. Kupunawahine and Tutu Hina sit on the lanai watching him work. They are removing the ‘spine’ from Ti leaves that will be used to make more laulau. The two women are chatting while they work.
Inanea sticks her head out the door and says, “Breakfast.” The she shouts to Kama. “Unko — come kaukau. Greyson is frying salt-n-peppah Akule — just like you like ‘em”
Kama grunts a gruff acknowledgement in her general direction, before he tenderly places the last huli into the muddy water. He looks over to see his grandmother smile approvingly.
INT. THE APANA HALE KITCHEN — MOMENTS LATER: Greyson is frying whole Akule — heads and all — in a cast iron skillet. There is an enormous pot of rice next to it. Suddenly three small children between the ages of four and six run into the kitchen asking of a snack, Greyson hands them an opened, jumbo size bag of Cheetos Paws — pretzels in the shape of cat paws.
Child, “Tanks Unko Greyson…” They run out of the room
Kaleo enters the kitchen, “Where my muddah stay?”
Greyson gesturing with the spatula, “On da lanai wid Kupunawahine and Inanea guys…”
Just then the screen door wings open and Inanea, Tutu Hina, Kupunawahine and Kama enter.
Kaleo gives Kama a bear hug, “Howzit brah?”
Kama, “I good — you?”
Kaleo, “I good.” He looks Kama up and down, “Brah, when’s da last time you leave da valley?”
Kama grunts, “No need. Wailua get everything…”
Tutu Hina interrupts and gives Kaleo a kiss, “’Bout time you got up — lazy bones”
Kaleo mockingly, “Lazy bones? Me? Who you tink when throw net at da crack o dawn?” He gestures toward the frying pan “Me an Greyson that’s who…”
Greyson agrees without turning around, “Yup — choke Akule in da hole dis morning”
Greyson removes the Akule from the pan and places them on a paper towel to drain and adds salt and pepper. He moves the rice cooker to the table. Kamapua`a reaches for a crispy fish but Kupunawahine slaps his hand away.
Kupunawahine, “Kamapua`a! We pule first — you know dat!”
A thwarted Kama grunts, “Ae”
Kupunawahine begins a prayer of thanks in Hawaiian, “Ke akua…”
EXT. UPPER MALIKO GULCH — MOMENTS LATER: Ivy glances over to the image uploading from the Infrared Drone and notices the moving shape.
Ivy says to Lucky “What the hell…?”
She clicks on the keyboard and is zooming on the moving object when it abruptly vanishes from the screen just in front of the heiau feature, “What the fuck? Where did you fucking go?” She looks at Lucky and he cocks his head and thumps his tail but provides no answers.
The LIDAR drone has completed the programed transects and lands near the Jeep in the field. Ivy retrieves it and places it in the back of the Jeep. The Infrared drone continues to “mow the lawn.” Ivy reviews the data and sees the Infrared drone picked up the moving heat signature early on. She zooms in on the image, it is moving too quickly for a cow and is too large to be a deer
Ivy says to herself, “Hello Kitty…”
Brian pulls up in his truck towing a double horse trailer his dogs, Ikaika and Koa are in the bed of his truck. Cat waives, pulls a GSP unit out of her pack and turns it on as Lucky runs over to greet them.
INT. THE SAN DIEGO AIRPORT — MOMENTS LATER: Dr. Hau and Pia are passing through security. They place their carry-on items on the conveyor belt. The technician’s eyes widen when Dr. Hau’s mysterious back case passes through the x-ray machine. He signals to the security Guard who flags the case and calls him aside.
Security (in Spanish), “This is your case?”
Dr. Hau (in English) “Yes”
She opens the case, so the lid is facing the camera and we can’t see inside. She removes the manila folder and looks up at Dr. Hau strangely, “Sir, you cannot take weapons on a plane”
Dr. Hau reaches over and removes a letter from the manila folder and hands it to her. The letter explains he has Diplomatic Clearance to transport the items, “They’re not weapons per se — they’re considered objects of cultural patrimony — and, as you see, yes I can.” He leans over and snaps the case shut with authority, “Is that all?”
Security Guard looks up from reading the letter “Ah — eh — yes sir. You’re free to go. Sorry for any inconvenience”
Dr. Hau takes the letter from the Security Guard, “No trouble. You’re just doing your job. There are a lot of strange folks out there”
He rejoins Pia who is waiting for him who asks, “Problem?”
Dr. Hau pats the case, “Not any more…”
We hear the announcer, “Flight 396 to Kahului, Maui will begin boarding at Gate 53 in 10 minutes”
Pia says, “That’s us.”
Dr. Hau looks up and sees that they are only at Gate 8 and says, “Ugh. So much for the glamor of international travel…”
EXT. UPPER MALIKO GULCH — DAY: Ivy, Brian are on horseback. They are riding into the upper portion of the gulch down one of the historic ranch trails with their dogs. The songs of forest birds fill the air. As they drop into the gulch, Ivy loses her GPS signal. She turns it off and places it in one of the saddle bags. They ride past several agricultural terraces on the sides of the gulch as they descend. They have reached the wide, flat bottom of the gulch and they cross a small stream.
Brian looking at Lucky, “Nice dog. Where’s ya get ‘em?”
Ivy, “Big Island — Kalapapa Ranch. I was doing some work over there. They didn’t want him ’cause he’s blind in one eye. Fucks up their depth perception or some shit”
As they follow the stream up, there are more and more beautifully stacked rock features. Ivy is snapping pics from horseback.
Brian says to Ivy, “Kauhale?”
Ivy, “Not sure — structures seem too well-constructed to be a village site. More like a ritual compound?” She snaps more pics, “Too early to tell”
The dogs are running ahead when Koa alerts and races ahead hackles raised with Ikaika and Lucky right on his heels.
Brian to Ivy, “Pua`a (pig)”
Ivy nods in agreement, “Lucky lives to chase pigs — he disappeared on me a few days ago and I’m pretty sure that’s what he was up to.”
Brian, “Glad he showed back up.”
Ivy fishing, “Yea, I was worried he might end up like Andy.”
Brain not taking the bait rides on in silence. The dogs are barking furiously up ahead. They are now in the middle of the ritual compound and the foliage grows denser. There are several canoe plants including, copious bright and dark red Ti plants, several Noni bushes, and Kukui nut trees as they approach the back wall of the gulch. The forest birds are oddly silent.
Ivy to Brian, “We’ve got waiwai”
She dismounts and pushes her way through a thicket of Ti plants revealing the rectangular structure recorded by the LIDAR drone.
The small heiau platform is built against the back wall of the gulch — it is a beautifully faced rock platform about 6 feet high. There are two large, out-of-place water-polished rocks placed upright on the top of the lava rock platform. One is vaguely reminiscent of a pig the other a dog. Next to one of the upright rocks there are chunks of white coral in various stages of decay as it pans to the other upright — the one reminiscent of a pig — is surrounded with several, large, tiger cowrie shells in various stages of decay. The dogs push past Ivy and appear to be barking at the platform. As she approaches on foot, she sees that a small section of the platform facing has collapsed exposing a gaping 4-foot hole in the form of a lava tube. A small stream of water is trickling out. The dogs are darting in and out of the entrance to the tube barking excitedly.
Brian dismounts and shouts, “Kuli!” and all three dogs fall silent.
Panting Koa and Ikaika drink from the stream. Ivy walks over picking up a chunk of coral lying on the ground near the wall collapse
Ivy holding it up turns to Brian who has joined her and says triumphantly, “Manuport.”
Brian confused, “Man-u-what?”
Ivy, “A manuport — anything transported by hand. In this case, a piece of branching, white finger coral.” She tosses the small chunk in the air and catches it, smiling she turns to Brian, “I can date this”
Brian, “Huh?”
Ivy, “Uranium-thorium dating — it’s a radiometric form of dating used to figure out the age of calcium carbonate materials such as coral.”
Brian looks at her blankly
Ivy continues, “Every heard of Carbon-14 dating?”
Brian nods, “You mean like C-14?”
Ivy, “Right — it’s like that — it only works on things that were once alive — like the tiny inhabitants that made this white coral condo”
Ivy pulls out a Ziploc bag and places the coral ecofact in it — she writes the date and other info on the Ziploc before depositing it in her pack.
Ivy points to the coral littering the platform and says, “It also indicates this structure was used ceremonially.” She visually surveys the site, “In fact, it looks like the entire compound seems to center around the lava tube. Might be a shrine to Kāne.”
Brian concerned, “Why you tink dat?
Ivy, “Because of its topographic location and association with an intermittent drainage channel”
Brian, “Huh?”
Ivy pointing to the trickle of water coming out of the cavern, “Kāne is the god of flowing waters.” She walks over to the “canoe corner” “See how this corner is acute?”
Brian looks at her blankly,
Ivy, “Ah — not square — it’s pointing to something.”
Brian, “What?”
Ivy, “Not sure — but I can find out.” She takes a compass out of her pocket and reads it, “Its primary axis is aligned cardinally…” She sees Brian is not following. She walks to the eastern end of the platform and takes out a handheld compass, “This end faces East towards the sunrise. If it were a shrine to Lono it would face the rising of the Pleiades — ah — the Makali`i.”
Brian, “Burials?”
Ivy shoot him a serious look, “Dunno yet. Sure hope not — I believe in letting people rest in peace and not rest in pieces”
Ivy walks over to the lava tube and kneels in front of it. She put her smart phone flashlight AP on and cautiously peers into the tube.
Thinking about the heat signature vanishing she says under her breath, “So that’s where you disappeared to…”
Once she determines the entrance of the tube is empty, she slowly enters shining her flashlight around the cavern. We can see that the lava tube widens and is tall enough for Ivy to easily stand. Once inside she shines the light and realizes the tube is substantial and slopes upward at a slight angle — she walks in a short way but realizes her light is not strong enough to see the back of the tube. A stream of water is traveling along the cavern floor. As she shines her light around on the bleached white bones that have been carefully laid out on a ledge inside the tube about eye level. She carefully examines a large femur and determines it is not human before touching it. She gently picks it up and examines it; it is from a HUGE bird.
Brian poking his head through the entrance, “Anything interesting?”
Ivy calls back, “Yes. Very. Come see for yourself.”
Brian enters the tube followed by Lucky — Koa and Ikaika wait outside.
Ivy shines her light on the bones and Brian asks, “Human?”
Ivy, “Nope. Avian.”
Brian, “Huh”
Ivy, “These bones belong to a big ass bird that is long extinct — the Moa Nalo.”
Brian, “How u know forh surh?”
Ivy, “Cause they’re pneumatic”
Brian slightly irritated, “Speak English Ivy”
Ivy explains, “Sorry.” She continues, “It means they’re hollow. Feel for yourself.” She hands the femur to Brian, “The Moa Nalo was hunted to extinction within 200 years of Polynesian arrival. Moa Nalo literally means ‘Lost Chicken’”
She takes the femur back from Brian and he says, “That’s one hell of a drumstick.”
Ivy carefully replaces it, “I know! They must have been delicious”
Lucky lets out a sharp bark that resonates down the tube giving the impression of vast depth. Outside the tube entrance Koa and Ikaika have their noses to the ground and are running back and forth in front of the heiau whining excitedly — the horses tied to the tree seem restless.
INT. UHMC CLASSROOM — MOMENTS LATER: Pulama is teaching her Hawaiian Mythology summer school course. The opening slide in her PowerPoint presentation reads:
“Hawaii Studies 150
Myths of Maui — Mid-term Review
Dr. Pulama Pundyke
UHMC Summer 2019”
Pulama, “Today we are going to review the materials we’ve covered in the past couple of weeks in preparation for the upcoming midterm.” She clicks to the next slide showing a close up of a coral polyp, “Let’s start at the beginning with the origin story or Kumulipo. The word ‘Kumuipo’ translates to ‘Beginning in Deep Darkness’ it is also the name of a man. In the beginning Kumulipo and his wife Po`ele have a son named Pouluili. From their spawn the world unfolds out of a cosmic darkness — beginning in the fathomless depths of the sea with the tiny coral polyp.” She advances to the next slide she has a section of Chant One translated in both Hawaiian and an English translation. Pulama begins to chant in Hawaiian.
“CHANT ONE
“….Darkness of the sun, darkness of the night
Nothing but night.
The night gave birth
Born was Kumulipo in the night, a male
Born was Poʻele in the night, a female
15. Born was the coral polyp, born was the coral, came forth…”
INT. LAVA TUBE, UPPER MALIKO GULCH — MOMENTS LATER: Brain, Ivy and Lucky continue to explore the entrance of the lava tube. In addition to the Moa Nalo skeleton there are other skeletal offerings — including what are clearly dogs and pigs, but at this point no humans. Their skulls are lined up on either side of the tube — carefully placed in carved out and natural niches — as if they are somehow guarding the entrance. Ivy snaps more pics but touches nothing.
Ivy, “Dogs and pigs — the children of Kāne. The only thing missing is a Mo`o.” She turns to Brian, “Have you ever seen anything like this?”
Brian is dumbfounded too, “I’ve been in a lotta tubes, but I nevah seen nutting like dis.” Shaking his head he adds, “I tell you, if I see one Mo`o I’m getting the frick outta here…”
As they move down the passage Lucky’s ears prick up and he abruptly turns and exits the cave with tail clamped firmly between his legs and hurriedly joins Koa and Ikaika outside. As they move forward the lava tube constricts to where they would need to crawl on their bellies. Ivy shines her light into the narrow slit of a passage but doesn’t see anything.
She turns to Brian, “I’m picking up a colleague this evening who is a photogrammetry expert.”
Brian, “What?”
Ivy explains. “An expert in 3D cave modeling. She’s here for another project, but I want to consult with her before I talk to the Aha Moku.”
Brian, “Aha Moku? Who all on der dees dayz?”
Ivy thinking, “Ah, I know for sure Kaleo and Hina Apana, Lono Makahiki, Kaleikoa Kapu and Pulama Pundyke, Jocelyn and Jimmy Costa — the usual suspects”
Brian groans, “So, we totally fucked”
Ivy, “Not necessarily. Jake is making a portion of the gulch into a Cultural Preserve, right?”
Brian, “I tink so…”
Ivy, “Well, Leo said he was at the CRC. If Jake promises to preserve these features in situ…”
Brian gruffly, “In what?”
Ivy continues, “…preserve in place and agrees to allow access to lineal descendants and cultural practitioners — this site might not be a deal breaker.”
Brian sarcastically, “You gonna break the good news to Jake?”
Ivy, “As soon as I get out of cell phone fucking purgatory.”
As they exit the tube, the green-gold eyes of the cat peer out of the darkness through the narrow passage behind them. Koa and Ikaika growl menacingly at the entrance. Lucky is busy licking his balls.
INT. UHMC CLASSROOM — MOMENTS LATER: Pulama is talking about kupua or Hawaiian demigods to her class.
Pulama, “So in addition to the four main deities of Kū, Lono, Kāne and Kanaloa the Hawaiian pantheon included numerous kupua or demigods. Many kupua appear in human form but are able to shapeshift into plants, animals, sea creatures and even into elemental forces such as wind or clouds — with the later form having the greatest supernatural power.” She clicks on a slide and it shows Kamapua`a. “Kamapua`a or ‘The Pig Child’ as he is widely known is one such kupua with ties to Maui. It is said that Kamapua`a could take the form of a handsome man, a pig, a fish or even a Kukui nut tree”
Student, “He was married to Pele, right?”
Pulama nods smiling, “Pololei. Yes, in one story Kamapua`a sails to Maui in his magical boat and sets up residence in the `Iao Valley at the site of Loi`loa where he constructs with largest, contiguous kalo lo`i in the entire archipelago. Long story short — he sails to Moku o Keawe and appears to Pele and her sisters as a handsome man. When his efforts to woo Pele fail, they engage in what may best be described as a supernatural pissing contest and Kamapua`a ends up banished to the opposite side of the island. Once he’s gone, fickle Pele pines for him and pursues him until he finally flees back to Maui on his boat. Like any woman scorned — naturally — she follows him.” She rolls her eyes. “They finally hook up and have a son who dies. Pele becomes so distraught at his death that she chases Kamapua`a to Pawela point where — upon his Kupunawahine’s advice — he escapes into the sea changing into a reef fish known as the Humuhumunukunukuapua`a which translates to Trigger fish with the snout of a pig — if you’re a diver you might know them as ‘Hoggies’ ’cause the grunting sounds they make when feeding sound like a pig.” Pulama makes grunting noises.
The class laughs
Pulama continues, “Historian and UH Manoa Hawaiian Studies Professor Lilikalā Kameʻeleihiwa, describes Kamapua`a as ‘defiant of all authority, bold and untamed, he recalls the pig nature that is dormant in most people….Treacherous and tender, he thirsts after the good things in life — adventure, love, and sensual pleasure….’” She continues, “I LOVE this depiction — Kamapua`a was indeed a troublemaker and left Oahu after a skirmish with his stepfather, Olopana. It seems that — true to his pig nature — Kamapua`a gobbled up all Olopana’s prize chickens. Auwe!” She makes a clucking sound followed by a loud squawk
The class laughs at her again
Pulama advances the slide and continues, “Maui’s most famous kupua is — well the demigod Maui. How many of you have seen Moana?”
Most of the class raises their hands.
INT. COOL CATS CAFÉ IN LAHAINA — DAY: Roy-Boy and Big-Rig are sitting at the far end of the bar having beers and Buffalo Chicken wings.
Roy-Boy, “Rig — I’m gonna tell you something, but you’re sworn to secrecy, k?”
Big-Rig feigns locking her mouth, “My lips are sealed.”
Roy-Boy, “It wasn’t a tree branch that spooked me the other night — there was a black panther on my carport…”
Big-Rig licking her fingers, “You mean like a militant?”
Roy-Boy, “NO — not a 1960s revolutionary — an actual big cat” He continues, “You know — from the jungle.”
Big-Rig is sucking on a wing her eyes widen and she says mockingly, “The jungle?”
Roy-Boy, “Fuck you Rig — where’s the trust” He pulls out his phone, “I snapped these pics at the rodeo ground about 30 minutes later.” He shows her the huge tracks in the mud.
Big-Rig looks at him, “Dude — what the fuck?”
Roy-Boy smugly, “Believe me now bi-otch?”
Big-Rig processing, “How…”
Roy-Boy interrupting, “Cat says it came in a shipping container full of drugs. I also heard that it belongs to some rich recluse named Dr. Vander who lives at the very top of Olinda Road — old timers call it Vander’s Panther. Either way the fucker somehow escaped and is on the prowl.”
Big-Rig still processing, “What the hell?”
Roy-Boy takes a bite out of a drumstick, “I know. Keep it on the down low, k? If Cat finds out I told you — the panther is the least of my worries”
EXT. UPPER MALIKO GULCH — DAY: Brian is loading up the horses while Ivy texts Jake.
Ivy send the following text, “Pau for the day. Found lots of cultural features in the upper section. Try not to panic” She shoots off the text and within seconds her cell rings. It’s Jake.
Ivy, “Dirty Girls Archaeology — no job too small, no fee too big.”
Jake, “Cut the Shit Ivy.”
Ivy, “Good afternoon Mr. Steinway.”
Jake, “Dunno, is it? What’d ya find?”
Ivy winks at Brian, “Too early to tell exactly — but we did find a lava tube full of cultural materials in an area that appears to be a ritual site.”
Jake obviously irritated, “Burials?”
Ivy, “No — well, not yet anyway. There is a small ceremonial platform built against the back wall of the gulch — thankfully, it looks like a shrine to Kāne — not Kū.”
Jake, “Well that’s good.”
Ivy, “Yes, it is. We DO NOT want to be dealing with a heaiu luakini.
Jake, “Got any pics?”
Ivy, “Some of the structures — but none I can share of the tube contents until I am positive none are human remains.”
Jake, “Why?”
Ivy, “It’s against the State’s 6E regulations to share photos of iwi kupuna.” She changes the subject, “Hey, until I go back in to survey the contents and make a final determination as to its significance, do me a solid and keep this on the low down, k?” She looks over at Brian as he loads the last horse, “And, please tell Brian to do the same. The last thing we need is a bunch of amateur archaeologists or looters descending on the place before I can meet with the Aha Moku to determine how best to record this site.”
Jake, “Okay, okay — send me some of the pics you can. Ivy, I’m really counting on your expertise to diffuse any issues with the community”
Ivy, “That’s why you pay me the big bucks.”
Jake, “Indeed. Keep me in the loop”
Ivy continues, “You know my motto — buy the best and only cry once.
Jake, “Very funny. Don’t forget to send the pics you can.”
Ivy, “Will do. A hui hou.” She hangs up and says to no one, “Silly rabbit, you can’t buy an outcome — no matter how much money you throw at it.”
She forwards a few photos of terrace walls and rock walls and one of the small heiau showing the wall collapse and the lava tube opening. Along with a text reading “DO NOT SHARE”
Ivy turns to Lucky and says, “Come on boy load up — company coming!”
She flashes a shaka out the Jeep window as she drives past Brian as she leaves. He is on the phone with Jake. He shakas back
INT. BRIAN’S TRUCK, UPPER MALIKO GULCH — MOMENTS LATER — PARKED: He is talking to Jake.
Brian, “No boss, I nevah seen anything like it. Get all kine animal bones inside.”
Jake, “Cattle?”
Brian, “No, I nevah see pipi — look like mainly pua`a and `īlio — but get one giant manu in der too.”
Jake, “Nene?”
Brian, “No WAY biggah — Ivy called it one Moa Nalo. Said it wen extinct a thousand years ago. I tell you Jake, she one akamai wahine.”
Jake sighs, “I just hope she’s not too smart for her own good. She’d better not fuck this up. Can you take me and Everett in tomorrow? I want to see this — whatever it is — with my own eyes. 8 am work for you?”
Brian, “Shoots — you da boss.” Brian hangs up
Jake to himself, “And don’t you every forget it”
Jake texts Everett, “Ivy found a bunch of shit. Going in with Brian tomorrow morning. Pick you up at 7:30 am. Wear riding clothes.”
EXT. KAHULUI AIRPORT — DUSK: The sun is setting when Bethany and Ivy pull up to baggage claim in her black Jag SUV. Dr. Hau and Pia are waiting curbside. Ivy gets out to greet them — she is carrying two leis — one is a black Kukui nut the other a double pikake. Pia is wearing jeans with a white t-shirt and a black, velvet blazer.
She gives the Kukui to Dr. Hau and pikake to Pia kissing her on the cheek and saying “Aloha — e komo mai — welcome to Maui”
Dr. Hau “Thank you! Great to see you!” He turns Pia, “Ivy this is Pia — Pia Ivy.”
Pia says, “Nice to meet you. That you for the beautiful lei”
Ivy says, “Hawaiian tradition. The pleasure’s all mine.” Changing the subject, “Dr. Hau tells me you’re a photogrammetry expert, right?”
Pia coolly, “That is correct”
Ivy as she loads their bags, “Sweet! Maybe you could come talk to my Intro to Archy class tomorrow”
Pia looks intrigued, “I’d love to.”
Ivy smiles, “We make you sing for your super ‘round here.” She helps them load their bags in the Jag
As the get into the back-seat Ivy says, “This is Bethany one of my oldest friends — you’re staying with her — she lives about 5 minutes from me. Bethany this is the famous Dr. Hau and his colleague Dr. Pia?”
Pia, “Calderón.”
Bethany, “Aloha!” She notices Dr. Hau’s mysterious case and says, “Wow, what a beautiful briefcase — the detailed tooling on the leather is amazing”
Dr. Hau pulls it closer to him, “Thank you. It’s the Mayan calendar”
Ivy alluding to the spear point “Is it in there?”
Dr. Hau pats the case “Yes. Safe and sound.”
Pia to Bethany, “Are you an archaeologist as well?”
Ivy snorts and Bethany answers, “No — I’d say I’m more of a horticultural enthusiast.”
Ivy, “Wait until you see her greenhouse.” She turns over her shoulder and says to Pia and Dr. Hau, “But first we eat.”
EXT. HAILI`IMAILE GENERAL STORE — NIGHT: Bethany’s Jag pulls into the gravel parking lot just as the sun has set.
INT. HAILI`IMAILE GENERAL STORE — CONTINUOUS: Bethany, Ivy, Dr. Hau and Pia enter the restaurant, Kitty and Pulama are already there sitting at the bar. Ivy walks up to the hostess stand and their party is seated — Kitty and Pulama join them.
Ivy goes through introductions, “This is Pulama Pundyke — Hawaiian studies professor at UHMC and this is Kitty King, Environmental Protections Administration coordinator for Haleakala National Park. This is my former boss and old friend, Dr. Felix Hau, Executive Director of the National Museum and Principal Investigator at the cultural heritage sites of Ek-Balam and more recently Balamku.” Turning to Pia, “and this is Dr. Pia Calderón from — ah…?”
Pia, “University of Barcelona.”
Ivy, “So, you’re Spanish?”
Pia, “Half — my father is from Barcelona my mother is from Tulum. I was raised in Spain — but I’ve always felt more at home in Mexico”
Ivy continues, “Pia is a photogrammetry expert…” When she sees the others look confused, “…she uses state-of-the-art equipment to model caves and their contents in 3D — sheesh!”
Pulama, “Way cool”
Pia smiles looking around, “This looks like a nice place. How’s the food?”
Bethany examining the menu looking down her nose in disdain, “Palatable”
When Pia looks confused, Ivy tells her, “It’s good”
Bethany, “It’s no Mama’s Fish House”
The waitress appears to tell them the dinner specials, “Our fresh catch today is Hapu`upu`u”
Ivy, Bethany, Kit and Lei all crack up thinking about the float in the parade
Pia whispers to Ivy, “What’s so funny?”
Ivy whispers back, “Tell ya in a minute…”
Waitress confused by their reaction continues, “…er — that’s Black Sea Bass served broiled with a wasabi-miso demi glaze, mashed Molokai sweet potatoes and pahole fern salad. Can I start you off with a beverage or wine?”
Dr. Hau tells the group, “Ladies — order whatever you like. Courtesy of the National Museum.” He turns to the waitress and asks, “I’ll need a bottle of sipping tequila and six glasses…do you carry Cat Mezcal?”
Waitress, “We do”
Dr. Hau, “Aňjeo?” She nods, “Good — and some rock salt and limes please”
The waitress leaves
Ivy wistfully, “Just like the good old days on the dig site”
Pia to the ladies, “Why did you laugh at fish? Because of the funny name?”
Pulama, “No, pretty much everything in Hawaii has a “funny name.” It’s kinda long story. Ivy, you tell it…”
Bethany interrupts, “I’ll tell it — or we’ll be here all night. Some fisherman caught a big fish last week — Then End.”
Ivy interrupts, “…not just any fish — a world record Hapu`upu`u weighing over 500 lbs. which is unheard of for the species Epinephelus quernus — so you can understand their excitement”
Bethany interrupts Ivy, “Any-hoo, they put it on the back of a truck and entered it as a float in the Rodeo Parade — ’cause — you know — Maui. What else would you do with a week-old rotting fish carcass?”
Pulama interrupts, “…and, it smelled even worse than it looked”
Bethany, “It was so disgusting — all blob-like, covered with flies, oozing fish goo and dripping slime” She shudders remembering it
Kitty, “Hello? Can we move on please? Some of us are planning on eating tonight…”
Bethany, “I do NOT recommend the Sea Bass.” She turns to Dr. Hau looking him up and down, “You married?”
Before he can answer the waitress returns with the bottle of tequila and Dr. Hau pours out 6 shots
Ivy raises her shot class and says, “To the best-est boss ever.”
They all raise their glasses and toast.
INT. THE COPELAND ESTATE — MOMENTS LATER: Now that Eco-Scout sleep-away camp is over Collins is hosting Potty, Lala and Mahina at her house. They are upstairs in Collin’s suite. They are all sitting on her massive four poster bed. Collins’ cats are also on the bed. She has a Main Coon Cat named Granger, a large orange tabby named Weasly and a Chinchilla Silver Persian named Potter. Across the room the Hunger Games is playing on the large flat screen TV.
Collins to Granger, “I wish I was Katniss Everdeen”
Potty is busy looking at her phone, “Me too — cause then you could protect me”
Collins to Potty, “The only thing you need protection from is yourself.”
Potty holds up her phone showing a Wikipedia page entitled Phantom Cat, “That, and a rogue fucking jungle cat on the loose. Check this out” She hand her phone to Collins
Wikipedia, “Phantom cats, also known as Alien Big Cats (ABCs), are large felines, such as jaguars, cougars, and leopards, which allegedly appear in regions outside their indigenous range. Sightings, tracks and predation have been reported in a number of countries and states including Canada, Britain, Australia, Spain, Ireland, New Zealand, Finland, Denmark, the Eastern United States, Hawaii, Italy and Luxembourg.”
Collins scrolls down to where it reads “As with other aspects of cryptozoology, the study of Phantom Cats is considered by mainstream science to constitute pseudoscience or fringe science[i]”
Lala and Mahina are downloading their sleep-away camp photos onto Lala’s laptop including snaps of the entrance to Waihou trail, Wamp huts, Rex, Justin, etc. When they get to the pics of the tunnel collapse something catches Mahina’s eye.
Mahina pointing, “See that?”
Using the touch screen Lala leans over and zooms in on a large chunk of roof fall. The girls notice the petroglyphs of dogs and warriors they missed earlier.
Lala looks at Mahina, “How did we miss it?”
Mahina shrugs “Cause it was pitch fucking black?”
Lala to Potty and Collins, “Check this shit out” She spins the laptop, so the girls can see the screen.
Collins hands Mahina Potty’s phone, “Check THIS shit out.”
INT. HAILI`IMAILE GENERAL STORE — MOMENTS LATER: The bottle of tequila is now about ¾ full.
As the waitress delivers three Sashimi Napoleon appetizers she asks, “Do you know what to do?”
Ivy, “Yup. This ain’t our first rodeo” She immediately winces thinking about the recent debacle and says to the group “Too soon?”
She grabs the knife and attacks the towering appetizer comprised of various layers of raw fish.
Pia, “I don’t get it.”
Pulama, “There was an incident at the rodeo over the weekend.”
Bethany, “An ‘incident?’ Is that the spin? The bleachers folded up like a fucking accordion. People got pinched!”
Ivy drizzles the wasabi mayo over the entire concoction before diving in with her chop sticks
Ivy, “It wasn’t pretty”
The others follow suit.
Pulama takes a bite and sighs, “So fucking ono”
Pia is fumbling with the chopsticks, so Ivy says “Use a fork — it’s totally cool”
Grabbing a fork, Pia dives in relishing every bite — Bethany is making yummy sounds while she eats looking hungrily at Dr. Hau while licking her lips.
Kitty wipes her mouth with her white napkin, “Before we go too far, and I fall into a food coma…” gesturing to the tequila bottle, “…or worse. Why exactly do you folks need access to that particular area of the crater and what’s with the urgency? It’s an extremely, culturally sensitive area, right Pulama?”
Pulama to Dr. Hau, “Show her.”
Dr. Hau takes his case out from under the table and places it on his lap. His back is against the wall. He raises the lid and removes the spear point. He immediately closes the case, locking it, he slides it back under the table. He somewhat reluctantly hands it to Pulama still wrapped in bubble wrap.
Pulama to Kitty, “One of my students brought this to my attention last week. They found it free climbing Switchbacks.” She carefully unwraps the spear point and hands it to Kitty
Kitty, “What the hell? Switchbacks?” She holds it up to the light, “Think it’s a fake? The ‘tourons’ deposit shit like this in the crater daily…”
Ivy, “Not like this they don’t. Pulama sourced it to Pachuca on the Gulf of Mexico and Dr. Hau ran obsidian hydration tests indicating its old AF…”
When Dr. Hau and Pia look confused Ivy explains “Old As Fuck — it’s a technical term”
Dr. Hau to Kitty, “We think it might be a percolate dating to over 1,000 BCE”
Kitty, “A what?”
Ivy, “A percolate is an artifact that is washed out of a cave by running water — you know percolated.”
Bethany with her mouth full, “What’s BCE?”
Pia explains to Bethany, “Before Common Era — replaces the whole Judaeo-Christian AD and BC nonsense”
Kitty turns to Ivy, “You think it came out of a lava tube?”
Ivy nods, “That’s the working theory”
Dr. Hau to Kitty, “There’s only one way to test our hypothesis…”
Kitty to Pulama, “As a lineal descendant, you’re down with this? Even if they pop a tube full of your ancestors?”
Pulama takes the spear point back from Kitty and carefully re-wraps it and hands it back to Dr. Hau who seems relieved to have it back saying, “Please put in back in your case for safe keeping.”
Pulama turns to Kitty, “I’m never okay with disturbing iwi kupuna, however, this artifact just might be rock-hard evidence that my ancestors voyaged to Mesoamerica and brought this blingy little trinket back as a souvenir. For that — I am willing to assume the risk”
Dr. Hau, “We believe this to be an important find — so important that I and my colleague flew nearly 4,000 miles — abandoning out own important work at Ek-Balam.”
Pia chimes in, “And Balamku.”
Kitty holds her hands up, “Okay, okay — I get your sense of urgency now” She turns to Pulama, “So you and Kaleikoa will deal with any fallout from the Aha Moku, etc.?”
Pulama, “Yes. We both sit on the council”
Kitty to Ivy, “And they’ll be operating under your state permit and abide by all federal and state statutes?”
Ivy, “Absolutely”
Kitty pauses to think before saying, “Alright — but I’m going with you.”
Pulama, “From what I understand, we will need to free climb up or rappel down to the ledge where it was found”
Ivy, “I vote for rappelling down”
Kitty, “Yes — much safer”
Ivy with a mouthful of food, “Not to mention much easier”
Kitty, “Okay, let’s meet in my office tomorrow at 8 am to go over the logistics.” She turns to Pulama, “I’ll need the names of everyone who is going in — and the names and contact information of the individuals who found it.”
Dr. Hau pours six more shots as the busboy clears the now-clean Sashimi Napoleon plates and the waitress delivers their dinners.
Dr. Hau raises his shot glass, “To old and new friends…”
Ivy raise her shot class, “… and to new adventures”
EXT. THE COPELAND ESTATE — NIGHT: Jack and Russell run out to meet Bethany’s Jag as it pulls under the Porte Cochere next to Chance’s metallic, jade-green Mercedes G-Wagon with a vanity plate that reads that reads CHUKKA. Chance opens the door to greet them he is wearing a Yale Bulldogs T-shirt.
Chance, “Jack! Russell! Calm the fuck down.”
Dr. Hau to Bethany, “Your Jack Russells are name Jack and Russell? How very novel”
Bethany, “My husband, Chance named them — he’s not very…” she pauses seeking the perfect word, “ah — well — imaginative…” She gives Dr. Hau a come-hither look which he chooses to ignore.
Ivy shoots Bethany a withering look and mouths “STOP IT!”
Pia exits the Jag and survey’s the massive 1920s estate and says to Chance, “Quite a place you’ve got! I’m Pia — it is generous of you and Bethany to host us in your lovely home” she extends her hand.
Chance looks her up and down hungrily, “Been in the family for a while.” He extends his hand, “Chance Collins” A spark is generated as they touch — Pia immediately pulls her hand back. Chance grins and spreads his arms out wide, “Welcome to my ancestral home…”
Dr. Hau, walks over to Chance. He is carrying a now half full bottle of tequila and the case. He extends his hand, “Dr. Felix Hau” Chance shakes he hand, “Chance Collins” He tips his head toward Bethany’s vanity license plate SWMBO, “Married to ‘She Who Must Be Obeyed’” He surveys the half empty tequila bottle and winks, “I like your style Doc”
Dr. Hau and Pia follow Chance through the front entrance. Ivy and Bethany gets the luggage out of the Jag.
Ivy tersely, “I thought I asked you to keep in your pants?”
Bethany whines, “But he’s so fucking hot”
Ivy, “Get a grip on your libido for fuck’s sake!”
Bethany grabs her crotch as Ivy roll her eyes. They each grab a bag and deposit them in the vestibule before joining the others in the den.
INT. THE DEN, COPELAND ESTATE — CONTINUOUS: Ivy and Bethany enter the den — it looks like a 1920s East African hunting lodge/hyper-masculine man-cave. Chance takes the bottle from Dr. Hau and heads to the wet bar. He lines up 5 shot classes on the bar carefully filling each one. Dr. Hau and Pia have made themselves comfortable on the large, brown leather sofa — Ivy plops down in a leather wing backed chair. There are hunting and fishing trophies on the wall alongside Polo mallets. Photos of Chance sport fishing, playing Polo and drag racing in his Pantera cover the wall behind the bar.
Dr. Hau surveying the room says to Chance, “Quite a place you’ve got here…”
Bethany responds, “Only the best for the Pineapple Prince…”
Chance smiles at her, “…and his Pineapple Princess.”
Dr. Hau, “How did you two meet?”
Chance pointing to his T-Shirt, “We met at Yale…”
Bethany feigns enthusiasm, “Go Bull Dogs!”
Ivy interrupts, “Now that we’ve finally got some privacy, I need to tell you about some strange ass shit that happened since we spoke last…”
Dr. Hau smiling, “Strange ass shit? I’m intrigued”
Ivy to Bethany who is standing at the bar, “Where should I start?”
Bethany matter-of-factly, “Animal mutilations”
Pia confused, “What?”
Ivy lets out a long sigh, “Okay — so I took a job for a large landowner and his developer and while we were surveying the area in a helicopter I saw a text come in with a pic of a mutilated cow.”
Dr. Hau confused, “What’s this got to do with anything?”
Bethany interrupts, “Let her finish”
Ivy, “…and THEN my dog Lucky went missing — and THEN Andy was found dead…”
Pia is even more confused, “Andy?”
Bethany chimes in, “Jake’s — er — the land owners’ dog…”
Pia trying to follow, “Oh…”
Ivy opening up her laptop showing the picture of Princess Ruth, “Hang on. It will be easier to just show you.”
Pia pointing to the woman on Ivy’s home page screen, “Who’s that?”
Ivy, “Princess Ruth”
Pia looks at Dr. Hau, “Her face looks so familiar…”
Ivy opens up ACRView software, “Here we go.” She turns and shows the proprietary GIS layer to Dr. Hau and Pia. “So, what I did was import data from the Maui Humane Society of missing pets and/or reported animal mutilations and voila! As you can see, there’s a marked clustering around Maliko Gulch…”
Chance walks over with a tray of shots, rock salt, and limes he mouths to Bethany, “What the FUCK is going on?” She mouths back “You’ll see” He places the tray of shots in front of Dr. Hau and Pia.
Dr. Hau, “Ivy, I still don’t see what this has to do with Pia and I”
Pia grappling to make some sense of Ivy’s story, “Did your dog come back?”
Ivy looks up, “Yes — he came back. Thanks for asking” continuing her story, “…and THEN — at the Bull Bash on Friday night Bethany’s daughter — Collins and her friends — saw what they describe as an escaped black panther”
Pia shoots a meaningful look at Dr. Hau
Dr. Hau, “Escaped? From where?
Pia leaning forward, “Did you see it?”
Ivy to Pia, “No.” To Dr. Hau, “Don’t know” Back to Pia, “They did get pics of the paw prints before the rain started.”
Bethany continues for Ivy, “…and THEN, on Saturday the temporary bleachers folded up during the rodeo injuring a bunch of folks — ah — and there was something about a naked maniac under the bleachers…”
Pia to Dr. Hau under her breath, “Rodeo?”
Dr. Hau shrugs his shoulders and says to Pia under his breath, “Naked maniac?”
Ivy continues, “…and THEN, I was flying my drones early this morning over the upper portion of Maliko Gulch — the portion I’m tasked with surveying for the rich landowner and I located a cluster of cultural features beneath the canopy and THEN I picked up a rapidly moving heat signal with my Infrared drone and THEN it — just, well — ah, it just vanished…”
Pia, Dr. Hau and Chance are doing their best to follow her rambling story
Ivy continues, “So, THEN I went in on horseback with the Haleakala Ranch manager…”
Chance, “Brian Tavares?”
Ivy, “Yup — and THEN I discovered a ritual compound with a heiau — er — a temple constructed over a substantial lava tube…”
Chance incredulous, “Say what?”
Ivy look at Dr. Hau and Pia, “It was full of carefully arranged bones…”
Pia, “Human?”
Ivy, “No. Not that I could see anyway — pigs, dogs mostly — oh, and Maui’s only megafauna the Moa Nalo.”
Dr. Hau, “Huh?”
Ivy, “A giant, flightless duck-like goose thingy that stood about 5 feet tall. Human predation caused their extinction within 200 years after humans showed up…”
Chance shaking his head in disbelief, “Ivy, you’re so full of shit…”
Ivy continues to Pia and Dr. Hau, “Since you’re both here, I was hoping you would come and take a look…”
Bethany pulls out her phone and Googles Moa Nalo — she walks over shoves her Wikipedia findings in front of Chance’s face
“The moa-nalo are a group of extinct aberrant, goose-like ducks that lived on the larger Hawaiian Islands, except Hawai’i itself, in the Pacific. They were the major herbivores on most of these islands until they became extinct after human settlement.”
Dr. Hau, “This is all very interesting Ivy, but we’re exhausted. Does your story have a point, and if so, can you arrive at it quickly?”
Ivy looks at Chance and Bethany and then at Dr. Hau and Pia, “Well — I think there’s a chance the escaped black panther-thingy might be hiding in there — that’s why the heat signature vanished…”
Dr. Hau still not fully understanding, “Alright…and?”
Ivy dead serious, “This house — this very house — sits on the western edge of Maliko Gulch were all the sightings occurred. So, I felt obligated to give you a heads up…”
Dr. Hau, “Interesting twist — are you insinuating we might be in some sort of danger?”
Ivy, “No, no, no, no, no — I’m not saying that — but, I — well, I just wouldn’t recommend walking the grounds at night until they trap this thing — whatever the fuck it is…”
Bethany looking directly at Dr. Hau, “I — on the other hand — am VERY concerned about the naked maniac on the loose…”
Bethany picks up her shot and slams it. The other’s follow suit.
Pia changing the subject, “The Olmec and the Maya have lots of myths about black jungle cats — specifically jaguars.”
Ivy, “Yes — I know all about the cult of the were-jaguar.”
Dr. Hau, “Glad to see you were paying attention and not just partying those two summers at Ek-Balam…”
Chance slides onto the couch next to Pia, “I’m all ears…”
Bethany looks at Ivy and rolls her eyes, mouths and gestures “And hands”
Pia, “Well, Chance, there are many theories — the most recent draws on the fact that there is a higher incident of cleft palate in this particular part of Mesoamerica and, so one theory is, the were-jaguar imagery is representing a wide-spread genetic anomaly.”
Chance, “Huh…?”
Pia leans over to Chance and traces her finger seductively down his philtrum, “This is your philtrum. In humans it is closed — in cats and other animals with a moist rhinarium — it is open. Same with people born with cleft palates”
Chance totally gob smacked, “God, I love scientists — they’re so, I dunno — scientific”
Pia, “I prefer a more — how shall we say — romantic explanation. In 1955 Matthew Stirling offered what is now known as the ‘Stirling Hypothesis.’”
Chance, “Named it after himself — good man…”
Pia continues, “He proffered the were-jaguar was the outcome of a mating between a jaguar and a beautiful woman.”
FLASHBACK — INT. THE CENOTE AT EK-BALAM — DAY: A beautiful naked woman is kneeling at the edge of the aquamarine cenote. Across the vast cavernous space, a massive black jaguar approaches and roars.
INT. COLLINS’ SUITE, COPELAND ESTATE — MOMENTS LATER: Collins is at her desk in front of a large computer screen. Her cat Potter is underneath the desk playing with her bare feet. Lala and Mahina are looking over her shoulder. Potty is using a laser pointer to torture Granger the cat. Granger pounces in earnest at the darting red light. Collins Googles, “Black Panthers” and lands on the following website:
“The Panther is also known as the Black Panther and it is a large member of the Big Cat family. They are native to America, Asia and Africa. The Panther is not a different species itself, but is the name is used to refer to any type of black colored feline of the Big Cat family especially Leopards or Jaguars[1]”
Collins Googles “Jaguars”
The jaguar is the largest native cat species of the New World and the third largest in the world… It ranges across a variety of forested and open terrains, but its preferred habitat is tropical and subtropical moist broadleaf forest, swamps and wooded regions. The jaguar is largely a solitary, opportunistic, stalk-and-ambush predator at the top of the food chain[2].
Collins scrolls down the page: CHARACTERISTICS
A short and stocky limb structure makes the jaguar adept at climbing, crawling, and enjoys swimming. The head is robust and the jaw extremely powerful, it has the third highest bite force of all felids, after the tiger and lion. A 220 lb. jaguar can bite with a force that allows it to pierce the shells of armored reptiles and turtles. It has been reported that an individual jaguar can drag an 800 lb. (360 kg) bull 25 ft. (7.6 m) in its jaws and pulverize the heaviest bones.
She scrolls down scanning the information
REPRODUCTION AND LIFE CYCLE
Jaguar females reach sexual maturity at about two years of age, and males at three or four…. Pairs separate after mating, and females provide all parenting. The gestation period lasts 93–105 days; females give birth to up to four cubs, and most commonly to two. The mother will not tolerate the presence of males after the birth of cubs, given a risk of infanticide…”
Collin’s stops and reads this section aloud, “SOCIAL ACTIVITY: The jaguar is often described as nocturnal, but is more specifically crepuscular. Both sexes hunt, but males travel farther each day than females, befitting their larger territories…”
Potty, “What’s creep-puss-cue-lur?”
Lala pronouncing it correctly, “Crepuscular means the species is most active around dawn and dusk.”
Potty, “How do you know all this shit?”
Mahina sighs, “We live with two scientists — so every day is a school day.”
Potty sarcastically, “Good times!”
INT. THE DEN, COPELAND ESTATE — MOMENTS LATER: Suddenly we hear the excited whinnying of Chances Polo ponies. Chance jumps up and flicks on the extensive outside lighting illuminating the entire yard. He runs into the vestibule and rushes outside only to find Fluffy’s dog Bruce Springsteen — his white fur is now matted with filth — running around in circles yapping his head off while looking up into a towering tree. Jack and Russell sprint to his side and join him — running around sniffing at the base of the tree. Jack, Russell and Bruce Springsteen all take turns pissing on the trunk of the same tree. Chance looks up and sees nothing.
Chance, “Dudes, what’s with all the fucking ruckus?” He looks at Bruce Springsteen, “and who the fuck are you?”
INT. COLLINS’ SUITE, COPELAND ESTATE — CONTINUOUS: Granger abruptly stops chasing the laser pointer and lets out a loud hiss. Weasley is on the bed with his tail sticking straight up growling at the open window. Potter begins growling from under the desk. Collins gets up and sticks her head out the second story window and shouts down to Chance. As she does, Potty, Lala and Mahina peer over her shoulder.
Collins, “Dude? What up? Everything okay?”
A tipsy Bethany burst onto the scene exclaiming “Bruce Springsteen! Bruce Springsteen! You’re alive! You’re alive, YOU’RE ALIVE!!!”
Chance yells up to Collins and the girls, “All good — just some stray dog spooking the horses.”
Collins seeing that everything is fine shuts the window and says to her friends, “God! My mom is so embarrassing.”
Potty picks up a still growling Granger with her tail twitching wildly and tries to sooth her, “Poor pussy…”
Collins tosses Potty a small, foil pouch that says, “Maui Wowie Organic Catnip.” And says, “Here, give ’em all a whiff of this and they’ll snap out of it…”
Potty pockets the laser pointer and puts a tiny pinch of catnip on the bed and Granger, Weasley and Potter lose their fucking minds rolling in it while purring loudly. Potty absentmindedly stuffs the pouch in her hoody pocket.
EXT. COPELAND ESTATE — CONTINUOUS: Bethany pulls out her phone and tries to call Fluffy — Born in the USA is Fluffy’s hold music — when it goes straight to VM Bethany hangs up and shoots off a text.
“Bruce Springsteen is alive and well. He’s at my house. Call me”
INT. FLUFFY’S HOUSE — CONTINUOUS: She’s out cold next to an empty bottle of Chardonnay and a half-eaten economy-size pack of Tasty Cakes Butterscotch Krimpettes. Behind her, the large flat screened TV is showing the series Claws about five manicurists who enter a life of crime.
Bethany turns to her guests now standing in the front doorway, “Wanna see my green house?”
Pia, “Sure” She looks at Dr. Hau
Dr. Hau sighs relinquishing any control, “Why not…”
Ivy looks at filthy Bruce Springsteen and says to him under her breath, “Tramps like us, baby we were born to run…”
They all enter the green house while the three dogs wait patiently outside. Bruce Springsteen laps loudly from the water bowl placed under the down spout.
EXT. CHAKRA GARDEN — NIGHT: Karma, Cheshire, Sun Moon, Argon and the other WWOOF-ers are gathered in a drum circle around a large bonfire. To the side there is a circular labyrinth made of smooth stones. They are passing around the bag of mushrooms they gathered the day they found Andy. Several WWOOF-ers are drumming while Cheshire and others dance and sway rhythmically in the moonlight. Karma dips his “fire balls” into the bonfire igniting them — he and several others begin to swing and twirl them wildly to the steady beat.
There is a blue haze of marijuana smoke hovering in the air. The drumming and dancing are reaching a crescendo when the big cat leaps out of the foliage — landing in the center of the stone labyrinth. The cat lets out a huge roar sending the WWOOF-ers running for safety — everyone, that is, except Cheshire. She is straight tripping and fearlessly stares into the green-gold eyes of the big cat swaying from side to side like a cobra. Their eyes lock and the cat stares unflinchingly back. Suddenly a very dirty Bruce Springsteen followed by Jack and Russell charge the scene. The cat breaks his gaze with Cheshire, lets out a loud roar before turning and vanishing into the inky blackness. As the big cat crashes through the dense overgrowth of Maliko Gulch it is followed closely by the three small yapping dogs.
Karma runs to Cheshire and yells back to the others, “Holy fuck! Please tell me someone recorded that?”
Sun Moon steps forward holding her smart phone, “Sure did”
The WWOOF-ers gather round to review her footage while Karma keeps a watchful eye out.
INT. THE COPELAND ESTATE — NIGHT: Bethany is showing Pia and Dr. Hau to their respective rooms. She has Pia in a lavish suite that is on the opposite side of the mansion from Dr. Hau but is directly across from Chances suite.
Bethany to Pia, “Pia, you’re in here…”
Pia, “Good night Bethany, thank you for everything.”
Bethany says, “My pleasure” while eyeing Dr. Hau. She purrs to him, “Follow me…” When they arrive at his suite she says, “And you’re in here — just across from my room — that way I’ll be at your beck and call.”
Dr. Hau closing the door in her face, “Good to know. Good Night Bethany.” Bethany makes a pouty face when she hears the lock click.
She goes to the front entry way and calls out, “Jack! Russell! Bruce Springsteen!”
The three small dogs appear panting like crazy.
Bethany picks up a filthy Bruce Springsteen wrinkling her nose, “Pilau! What have you been rolling in, cat shit?”
She thinks about what she just said and backs slowly into the house followed by Jack and Russell and closes and locks the front door.
DAY SEVEN: 7/7 TUESDAY
EXT. UPPER MALIKO GULCH — DAY: Brian, Jake and Everett on horseback are entering the gulch along with Maka, Koa and Ikaika. Brian has a rifle in a saddle holster. The forest birds are singing.
INT. DLNR OFFICE MA`ALAEA HARBOR — DAY: Kaleikoa’s office phone is blowing up. Dr. Frazier “Woody” Heywood greets him.
Woody, “Dude — so glad you could make it. Your phone has been ringing off the hook since I walked in.”
Kaleikoa, “Sorry brah — let it go to voice mail — been a rough couple of days.”
Kaleikoa sits down at his desk and turns on his computer. He opens his e-mail inbox and sees that there are several unopened e-mails marked URGENT. His office line rings.
He answers, “Aloha DLNR” after a long pause — “…and where was the sighting?” pause, “You did? Hang on — let me check…” He turns to the screen and scans the unopened e-mails and clicks on one of the ones marked URGENT. He clicks on an imbedded link and sees Sun Moon’s hand-held footage of the big cat — his eyes grow wide as he watches. Under his breath he says, “You gotta be fucking kidding me…” To the person on the phone he says, “Stay put — I’ll be there in 20 to take your statements.”
Woody eves dropping, “Statements ‘bout what?”
Kaleikoa spins his monitor towards Woody and clicks on the link. Woody’s eyes widen in shock and he looks up from the screen shaking his head in disbelief.
Kaleikoa, “Wanna come with?”
Woody, “Shoots — where we heading?”
Kaleikoa, “Chakra Gardens — right in the heart of Maliko Gulch — just below the Copeland Estate”
EXT. HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK ENTRANCE — DAY: Ivy, Dr. Hau and Pia are in Bethany’s Jag. Just before the 7,000-foot entrance there is a group of tourists on a downhill bike tour. There are about twenty tourists on mountain bikes and two guides — one in front and one in the rear. As they take off down the mountain, several of the riders appear to not have been on a bike in many years.
Pia to Ivy, “Where are they going?”
Ivy, “They end up in Haiku — just below Bethany’s place. Right, Bethany?”
Bethany, “Yup — I get to dodge those muther fuckers on a daily basis…”
Pia, “There’s no bike lane. Isn’t that dangerous?”
Ivy, “I hear it kills more tourists each year than any other activity on Maui — except for maybe snorkeling with one of those idiotic full-fucking- face masks.”
EXT. LA PEROUSE BAY — DAY: An unconscious 50-something snorkeler floating face down wearing a full-face mask.
INT. BETHANY’S JAG — CONTINUOUS — MOVING: Ivy shows her park pass as they go through the gate.
Bethany, “Yup — there’s a couple of those every month now. I can’t believe dive shops still sell them.”
Ivy, “Responsible ones don’t.”
Bethany turns the Jag into the Park Headquarters parking lot. There are signs that say “WATCH OUT FOR NENE” — several of the “flightless” geese are wandering around the grounds.
INT. KALEIKOA’S TRUCK — DAY — MOVING: They are driving down Kaluanui Road on their way to The Chakra Gardens in Kaleikoa’s white Tacoma. They are following a black Toyota 4-Runner with racks and bumper stickers that read: “GROWN HERE NOT FLOW HERE” and “WELCOME TO MAUI, NOW GO HOME.” The vanity plate reads “KANAKA” and there is a blue and white Kamehameha Schools sticker.
Woody, “So you found out Friday night?”
Kaleikoa, “Yup — at da Bull Bash. I saw pictures of fresh tracks. My daughters saw ’em too”
Woody, “You talk to Vander yet?”
Kaleikoa, “Not yet — I was trying to keep it on the down low, but way too late for that now”
Woody shaking his head, “Boy, you’d think he’d learn after the last time.”
Kaleikoa shrugs, “If common sense were common — everybody would have ‘em”
Kaleikoa turns into the entrance of The Chakra Gardens and parks the truck
INT. KITTY’S OFFICE, HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK — MOMENTS LATER: Drunk Unko (Silvio Teixeira) is already there; he is the mule skinner for the park. Ivy, Dr. Hau and Pia enter the office.
Bethany pokes her head in and says, “I’m going to grab some coffee. Will you guys be long””
Ivy gives her a thumbs up and they all take a seat
Kitty to Bethany, “Not too.”
Kitty to Ivy “Where’s Pulama?”
Ivy, “She has a 9 o’clock class today — but is definitely coming with”
Kitty points to Drunk Unko “This is the Park’s Mule Skinner, Silvio Teixeira. Sil — you know Ivy of course — and these are their colleagues from Mexico — Dr. Hau and Dr. Calderón.”
Silvio nods hello.
Kitty has a large map of the crater rolled out on the meeting table. Speaking to everyone she says, “We will go in on horseback in the morning with Sil — everyone here comfortable of horseback?”
Pia shoots a concerned look at Dr. Hau who answers for both, “Absolutely.”
EXT. THE CHAKRA GARDEN — MOMENTS LATER: Kaleikoa and Woody are interviewing the WWOOF-ers — Karma, Cheshire, Argon and Sun Moon.
Kaleikoa to Sun Moon, “So you took this footage?”
Sun Mon, “Correct.”
Kaleikoa, “Approximately how many people have you shown it to?”
Sun Moon look at Karma, “Not sure — a thousand?”
Karma, “More than that — we posted it on Social Media last night”
Cheshire smugly, “I’m an influencer.”
Kaleikoa, “A what?”
Cheshire, “You know — a social media influencer. My YouTube channel alone has nearly 40,000 followers. Here I’ll show you.”
Cheshire takes Sun Moons phone and goes to her YouTube channel named “Fire Cat” where she goes by the name “Bellicle Cat” and shows Woody and Kaleikoa that there have been over 5,000 views of Sun Moon’s video so far.
Woody whispers to Kaleikoa, “We’re so fucked…”
INT. KITTY’S OFFICE, HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK — MOMENTS LATER:
Kitty turning to Silvio, “Sil, there will be five of us spending the night at Hōlua — six counting you. We’ll meet here tomorrow just before sunrise — say 5:30 — and take the supply trail to the Halemau`u Trailhead” Indicating where the supply trail is on the map
She turns to Dr. Hau, Pia, and Ivy, “From there we can split up.”
Kitty to Ivy, “You feel you can locate the area where the object was recovered?”
Ivy, “Yes, the ledge is about 150 feet down — sandwiched between two switchbacks.” She pulls out her phone, “One of Pulama’s student’s friend took a video the day they found it — there are some clear landmarks.”
Pia, “I can geo-reference them tonight if you like”
Ivy, “That would be awesome!”
Kitty, “Okay good — so who all is rappelling down?”
Pia and Ivy raise their hands.
Kitty, “You ladies every rappel before?”
Ivy, “I’ve only done it on a climbing wall at the gym — but yeah, I get the gist — and don’t worry about Pulama her family owns Rappel Maui — they’re providing all the gear.”
Dr. Hau, “Pia is a professional spelunker”
Silvio, “What dat?”
Pia to Silvio, “An explorer of caves.”
Kitty, “Okay — great. So, we’re good to go…”
Kitty turns to Dr. Hau, “You and I will stay at the top with the horses once we anchor their ropes. Sil, you’ll go down and stock the cabin and wait for us there.”
Silvio nods, “Whatevah you like boss”
Kitty, “What about gear — you have a lot?”
Ivy, “I want to bring two drones — they’re pretty light”
Pia, “I just need to bring my camera, my imaging laser scanner, and my tablet”
Ivy remembering, “I need to bring my laptop too.”
Kitty, “How big is the scanner?”
Pia, “Tiny — just over 6” inches tall”
Kitty, “Very cool.” She turns to Silvio, “Sil, be sure we have walkie-talkies and extra batteries” To the group, “Cell service sucks at the summit and is nonexistent in the crater. You all still need to complete and sign the liability waiver before we can take you in.”
She pulls out a thick stack of forms from a drawer in her desk and plops them on the table.
Kitty to Ivy, “You’ll need to complete this form in order to fly your drones.”
She plops down a rather thick form.
Ivy, “What the fuck Kit?”
Kitty, “FAA rules — you’ll be operating them on federal land. The Feds want to be sure you’re not trying to spy on the military “spy telescopes” housed at Science City. Oh — and one last thing — does anyone have any medical condition that would keep them from participating?”
Ivy, “I’m allergic to irony — does that count?”
Bethany pokes her head through the office door, “Howzit going?”
Kitty to Bethany, “Perfect timing — we’re just wrapping up.” She turns to the group and asks, “Any questions?”
They all nod “no”
Kitty turns to Ivy, “Did Pulama give you the names of the individuals who found the spear point?”
Ivy, “Yup — sent them to you via e-mail this morning.”
Kitty, “Mahalo — and don’t forget to dress warmly — the wind chill up here can be a real bitch — especially at night.”
Pia to Ivy, “Can I borrow some warm clothes?”
Ivy, “Bethany and I got you covered.”
Dr. Ha, “And me?”
Ivy, “No worries. I’ll bring you some of my boyfriend’s things”
Dr. Hau, “Where is he?”
Ivy, “Fishing in Alaska for the summer.”
They begin filling out the complicated federal waivers
She turns to Pia and Dr. Hau, “When you’re pau with the forms, I’ll show you folks around the facility.”
Pia mouths “Pow?” to Ivy
Ivy mouths back “Finished”
Pia mouths back “Oh…”
EXT. UPPER MALIKO GULCH — MOMENTS LATER: Brian, Jake and Everett are riding through the ritual compound. Koa, Ikaika and Maka have run ahead and are sniffing and growling with their hackles up at the entrance to the lava tube. The men approach the heiau on horseback and dismount. As they approach the heiau, there are several fresh ho`okupu (offerings) wrapped in bright, green leaves on the top of the structure next to the upright stones.
Jake seeing the fresh ho`okupu turns to Brian, “Were those here yesterday?”
Brian, “Nope.”
Jake, “Tell anyone about this?”
Brian, “Nope”
Everett, “What going on?”
Brian, “Somebody malama da heiau.”
Jake points to a ho`okupu, “Beware of strangers bearing gifts”
Everett sneezes loudly several times in a row. He pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket and blows his nose.
Everett, “Fucking allergies — they’ll be the death of me.”
INT. DLNR OFFICE MA`ALAEA HARBOR — DAY: Woody and Kaleikoa have returned. There are now thousands of unopened e-mails clogging Kaleikoa’s inbox. The subject lines read “Cover Up,” “Fake News,” “Black Panther,” “Dog Dead,” “Paw Prints” “Phantom Cat” “Hello Kitty” “NO GMO” “ALIEN CAT” “Mystic Mu Cat” “Cat-spiracy” etc.
He spins his screen to show Woody and says, “The raw power of social media”
Woody, “Fight fire with fire?”
Kaleikoa spins his screen back around selects them all and sends a blanket e-mail announcing there will be an Emergency Community Meeting to discuss the recent big cat sighting at the Pa`ia Community Center Wednesday, July 8th at 6 pm.
Next, he goes to Facebook and sets up a page entitled “Maui Mystery Cat” asking for individuals to report any sightings or other disturbances. He includes a link to the official Hawaii DLNR website[3] dedicated to reporting large, black cat sighting. He then sends the same blanket e-mail to his DLNR list serve.
“STATUS REPORT ON THE MALIKO, MAUI MYSTERY CAT
This website is prepared to inform the Maui community and news media of the status of information gathering and planning for safe capture of a large cat believed to have escaped or been released in the Maliko Gulch area of Maui.
State wildlife officials on the island of Maui are now developing a plan for the safe and live capture of the mystery “big cat’ which has been reported at large in wooded and rugged gulches of Makawao and Olinda, a rural upcountry community. … (the cat is) thought to be either a leopard, jaguar or mountain lion…[ii]”
EXT. UPPER MALIKO GULCH — DAY: Jake, Brian and Everett cautiously enter the tube. Koa, Ikaika and Maka whine and paw just outside the entrance. Jake is shining a bright light on the Moa Nalo and other remains.
Jake in awe snapping picks — each time his flash illuminates the space, “Dude…”
Brian, “I know brah — chicken skin kine”
Everett sneezes again and sniffs, “How far back can you go?”
Brain, “Not surah. Gets tight pretty quick. Ivy and I nevah like try ’em. She said she brining one lady back with some special equipment forh see in.”
Everett goes to reach for a bone when Brian says, “Ivy said no touch ’em. Hewa brah!”
Everett ignores Brian and goes to pick up a dog skull and accidently knocks several other dog bones to the ground. Koa and Ikaika growl at the sound.
Jake turns towards the noise, “Dude — what the fuck?” He takes the skull from Everett and gently places it back on the ledge. He points to the bones that fell and says to Everett, “Hand those to me — don’t touch anything else”
Brian under his breath, “Fucking donkey.”
Everett picks up the bones and hands them to Jake who places them alongside the skull in doing so he sneezes several more times. As he does, Maka, Koa and Ikaika start barking furiously at the entrance.
Jake irritated, “Jesus Everett! What all are you allergic to?”
Everett blowing his nose loudly sniffs, “Mainly cats.”
Jake looks at Everett, “What’d you say?”
Suddenly there is a tremendous roar from the back of the tube causing Jake to drop his light. The three men run out of the entrance. The forest birds have gone silent and their horses are acting skittish.
Brian looks at Jake and points to the pile of rocks from the recent wall collapse, “Plug ‘em?”
Jake nods, “Let’s do this!”
Jake begins heaving large rocks into the opening while Brian grabs his rifle out of its holster and hands it to Everett.
Brian to Everett, “Cover us.”
The two men quickly begin piling the large, loose rocks to close the narrow opening. Everett has the rifle tucked under his arm and is holding his phone up searching for a signal which, of course, there is none — all while sneezing repeatedly.
INT. THE MAUI FOREST BIRDS RECOVEY PROJECT (MFBRP) OFFICE — DAY: Dr. Janna Fong-Pounce is sitting at her desk when Kaleikoa’s blanket e-mail comes in. She opens it.
Janna to herself, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?”
She picks up her office phone at calls the DLNR office. The line is busy.
INT. THE DLNR OFFICE — CONTINUOUS: The phones are all ringing off the hook.
INT. THE MFBRP OFFICE — CONTINUOUS: Janna tries again before she hangs up and calls Pulama at UHMC
INT. PULAMA’S OFFICE, UHMC — CONTINUOUS: Cheshire and Sun Moon are showing her the video on Cheshire’s YouTube channel.
Pulama answers, Aloha, Dr. Pundyke speaking”
Janna, “Hey, it’s Janna. I got a strange e-mail from your husband just now and all the DLNR lines are busy.”
Pulama, “I know. I got one too.”
Janna, “What’s going on?”
Pulama, “Remember stories about Vander’s Panther a few years back?”
Janna, “No — not really”
Pulama, “Must have happened before you moved here. There’s some rich dude named Vander who lives near the top of Olinda road who supposedly has all these illegal big cats in cages on his property — sort of like a mini zoo for wealthy asshats.
Janna, “You’re kidding, right? Wolf Vander? The retired veterinarian? He’s one of our biggest donors.”
Pulama, “Not kidding. About fifteen years ago one got lose and wreaked havoc up and down Maliko Gulch — mutilating livestock, killing pets — eating birds.”
Janna is in shock, “No fucking way…”
Pulama, “Looks like it got out again — a black panther. It terrorized two of my students last night.
Cheshire grinning ear to ear says to Sun Moon, “I wasn’t terrorized I was mesmerized.”
Sun Moon dreamily, “Pure animal magnetism”
Pulama, “Check out the DLNR website — tons of sightings being reported — some credible but most are bullshit.”
INT. MFBRP OFFICE — CONTINUOUS:
Janna, “Thanks Pulama — will do. I still can’t believe that about Dr. Vander. No wonder he never invites me over”
Pulama, “Kaleikoa says they’re going try and trap it”
Janna, “Will you be at the tomorrow’s meeting?”
Pulama, “Nope — I’ll be up at the summit consulting with the park on issues of cultural patrimony.”
Janna, “Ooh — fancy.”
Pulama, “I wish I could be there. The crazies will be crawling out of the woodwork.”
Janna thinking, “Any chance this is a planned release?”
Pulama, “A what?”
Janna, “Hear me out. What if someone was trying to bring attention to our feral cat problem?”
Pulama, “And by someone you mean your largest donor?”
Janna, “Possibly?”
Pulama, “Possibly is not probably — take a look at the website before you go all conspiracy theorist on me.”
Janna, “Okay, okay — I hear ya.” She hangs up.
Janna opens the DLNR website and starts to read about the various sightings and realizes that many are in close proximity to the MFBRP. She scrolls down.
“CAT SIGNS & EVIDENCE
Signs that have been reported of the mystery cat’s presence include paw prints, scratch marks on trees, calling at night heard by area residents, consumed bird carcasses and a fresh deer kill that was typical of large-cat predation…”
She looks toward the aviary where the endangered Kiwikiu are hopping about chirping cheerfully.
She says to the birds, “As if you poor little guys haven’t suffered enough trials and tribulations.”
EXT. THE TOP OF MALIKO GULCH — DAY: Jake and Brian have finished plugging up the entrance to the lava tube and are dragging large branches to help reinforce their work. Brian’s rifle is leaning up against a tree. Now that all the manual labor is finished Everett wanders back.
Jake irritated wipes the sweat from his brow, “What the fuck brah — where’d you run off to?”
Everett is no longer sneezing, “I was trying to get a signal on my phone”
Jake pointing to Brain who is also sweating, “We were busy trying to keep from BEING EATEN ALIVE!!!”
As Brian tosses another sizeable branch over the entrance, we hear the cat roaring in dismay inside the tube. Maka, Koa and Ikaika are barking and Brian does not silence them this time.
Brian, “Take dat”
Maka the dog brings a large branch to Jake he takes it and tosses it on the massive pile, “This one’s for Andy you dog-murdering feline fuck”
Everett feebly tosses a small, dried branch that bounces off — landing a few feet away.
Jake sarcastically, “Everett — for fucks sake — please stop helping! Maka’s better at this than you — and she lacks opposable thumbs.”
Secure that the cat is now trapped, the men mount their horses and leave the gulch with Ikaika and Koa leading the way.
Jake to Brian, “So you’ll take care of it tomorrow?”
Brain, “Yup. Be my pleasure boss”
Jake, “Who do you think left those ho`okupu?”
Brian matter-of-factly, “Kanaks”
Jake, “Know any Hawaiians with ties to this area?
Brian unwilling to say, “Try ask Ivy. She da one doing all da research”
Jake, “Whomever they are — if they come back anytime soon — they’re in for a big, black furry surprise.”
INT. KALEIKOA’S TRUCK — DAY — MOVING: Kaleikoa and Woody are driving to the top of Olinda Road to interview Wolf Vander. They arrive in front of a massive iron gate with a wolf head leading to a long driveway — you cannot see the house from the gate. Kaleikoa leans out and presses the intercom button. He waits but there is no response.
He pushes the intercom button holding it down and says, “Dr. Vander, I know you can hear me. This Kaleikoa Kapu from the Division of Fish and Wildlife — we need to talk to you about some recent sightings of a big cat in this area.”
He releases the button and the electric gate slowly opens. Kaleikoa drives through and the gate close behind them. As they approach the Vander mansion they pass by a row of now derelict cages.
Woody comments on the abandoned cages, “Well that’s strange.” Turning to Kaleikoa “When was the last time you were up here?”
Kaleikoa, “‘bout 15 years ago…”
Woody, “How time flies”
He pulls the truck up to the house and the two men get out. Kaleikoa used the heavy iron wolf-headed door knocker.
INT. UHMC CLASSROOM — DAY: Ivy is teaching Intro to Archaeological Methods and Pia is the guest speaker this evening. Dr. Hau and Bethany are sitting in the back of the room.
Pia, “So using Augmented Reality software or as we call it — AR — I can model the data I collect using photogrammetry. Photogrammetry is the use of photography in surveying and mapping to measure distances between objects. Once rendered, information about the real world becomes interactive and digitally maniputable or capable of being controlled…”
She looks out at the students — some of whom seem lost
Pia continues, “I see I’m losing some of you with all the technical talk. Photogrammetry is simply the art and science of making measurements from photographs. By referencing specific points on the photos the software stiches them together over a mesh frame creating a 3D image. Here, let me show you some examples from my work mapping the cenote and its contents at the site of Ek-Balam.”
She clicks on a slide showing some of the 3D modeling of the chambers and their contents.
EXT. THE VANDER ESTATE — MOMENTS LATER: The door slowly opens, and Wolf Vander (Pierce Brosnan-type). He’s in his late 70s and is using a carved wolf-headed cane.
Kaleikoa, “Dr. Vander — I’m not sure if you remember us…”
Dr. Vander snaps in a South African accent, “I certainly do! I’m old — not senile. Do come in.”
Woody and Kaleikoa follow him into his den. There are pictures of teenage Dr. Vander posing with big cats and other wild animals on his family compound outside Johannesburg, South Africa. A 40-something Dr. Vander posing in a white lab coat alongside several big cats at the Golden Gate Park Zoo in San Francisco. And a 60-something Dr. Vander posing with big cats on his Maui property. The men sit down.
Kaleikoa, “You told us you got rid of all your cats.”
Dr. Vander gesturing towards the empty cages, “I did”
Woody, “Then how do you explain this?” He takes out his phone and shows Dr. Vander Sun Moon’s clip.
Dr. Vander examines the footage, “Melanistic Jaguar — from South or Central America”
Kaleikoa, “What else can you tell us?”
Dr. Vander, “Magnificent specimen — male — young…”
Woody leading, “Yours?”
Dr. Vander, “Sadly no. I was never fortunate enough to own one. They’re extremely elusive and hard to trap”
Woody mouths sarcastically to Kaleikoa, “AWESOME!”
INT. UHMC CLASSROOM — MOMENTS LATER:
Pia is lecturing, “The Maya saw the underworld as a watery realm full of peril and rich rewards. To access Xibalba or the Place of Fright, a departed spirit needed to enter via the cenote at Ek-Balam. The Maya saw the underworld as having nine layers — with the first being the terrestrial or earthy plane. After leaving the earthly body the spirit had to pass through six horrific realms and cross rivers of scorpions, blood and pus…”
The students are in rapt attention hanging on Pia’s every word.
Pia continues, “The first chthonic realm is the Dark House — a lightless void where the spirit must navigate dangerous obstacles using only touch. The second is the Rattling House where the spirit is pelted with icy hail and forced to endure bone rattling temperatures. The third is the Jaguar House — a cavern filed with hungry jaguar intent on devouring the spirit. The fourth is the Bat House — home of Camazots the Bat God who thirsts for blood — filled with swooping, shrieking, sharp-beaked bats. The fifth realm is the Razor House filled with animated obsidian blades that slash anything in their path. The final house is the Hot House — a cave filled with molten rock and fire. This is the ream of the Rain God Chaac.”
She clicks on a slide showing the Codex Vessel we saw when Victor Pinto was exploring Balamku in 1969.
Pia continues, “This ritual object was recently recovered from the ongoing excavation at Balamku — the Cave of the Jaguar God. As you can see Chaac — along with the Death God — is overseeing an initiate’s ritual transformation into a jaguar. Chaac is associated with water and you can see scale-like lines on his legs and arms to show his amphibian quality. He also wears large, Spondylosis shell ear spools which also are a reference to his aquatic existence…”
Inanea ’s hand goes up, “Is that an `īlio — ah — a dog?”
Pia, “Yes — dogs were very important in Mayan cosmology. They were required to guide one’s spirit through the underworld — particularly children…”
Jeffery’s hand goes up, “What that weird thing in the middle with the tail?”
Pia locks eyes with Jeffery holding him in her predatory gaze, “That, my friend, is the Rain Baby — a human with the paws and tail of a jaguar. A most powerful deity — thought to be an infant representation of the Jaguar God.”
Inanea, “What’s it lying on — it look like one he`e mākoko.”
Ivy to Pia translates from the back of the room “Octopus.”
Pia laughs, “No — it’s not a cephalopod — this portion of the image has been interpreted as a rock or stone weeping water. Scholars believe it depicts a portal into the underworld.” She continues, “There are an estimated 3,000 unmapped cenotes beneath the jungle canopy. Local legends speak about an extensive labyrinth that exists beneath the Yucatan Peninsula — forming a network of interconnected sites. I work as part of a larger team attempting to prove that the local legends of an expansive, watery underworld are true. Do any of you have questions for me?”
Jeffery’s had shoots up, “Are you single?”
Pia laughs, “You could say I’m married to my work.”
Inanea raises her hand, “Hawaiians also believe that anchialine ponds are piko — portals to access the underworld.”
Pia smiling, “Very interesting. And are there any deities associated with this realm?”
Inanea, “The children of Kāne — the Mo`o.”
Pia, “What supernatural qualities do theses Mo’o possess?”
Inanea, “They are kupua — shape shifters. They can appear as human or dragon-like. The female Mo’o have long, thick hair — sometimes black and silver and sometimes ehu — er — red. They live in the island’s karst and can travel unseen from loko to loko — pond to pond — through subterranean caverns. Sometimes they are seen sitting on the edge of the loko brushing their hair — luring unsuspecting kane…” She turns and looks intensely at Jeffery, “…like Jeffery — to an untimely death.” She continues, “Their primary purpose is to guard the environment — especially waiwai — fresh, running water.”
Pia, “Wow! I see so many parallels between the two cultures. Fascinating. Thank you so much for sharing”
Inanea locks eyes with Pia, “Why did you come here?”
Pia is caught off guard and took at Ivy, “To help Dr. Rhodes with a research project — didn’t she tell you?”
Ivy joins Pia at the lectern, “Alright gang that’s it for the Q&A. Let’s give a big mahalo to our guest speaker, Dr. Pia Calderón.”
The class applauds.
EXT. THE CAGES AT THE VANDER ESTATE — MOMENTS LATER: The three men are walking past the empty cages.
Dr. Vander, “My last cat died nearly 10 years ago at the ripe old age of 17.” He gestures to a small, cemetery plot, “– they’re all buried there alongside my late wife. I’ll be joining them soon enough”
Kaleikoa, “What’s the average lifespan?”
Dr. Vander, “For most big cats? 10 to 15 years.”
Kaleikoa and Woody see no evidence that he is harboring any illegal big cats
Kaleikoa, “Is there anything you can tell us Doctor that will help us trap it?”
Dr. Vander, “Urine”
Woody, “Pee? How can that possibly help?”
Dr. Vander clarifies, “Big cat urine — preferably female”
Woody, “Do they sell that on Amazon, cause the last time I looked we were fresh out…”
Dr. Vander turns to Woody, “Get it from a zoo.” He turns to Kaleikoa. “Now, if that’s all gentlemen, I’d like to retire — it’s getting too crepuscular for my comfort” He winks at Woody, “He’ll be most active around dusk and dawn.” He turns to Kaleikoa and gestures towards the empty cages, “If you’re lucky enough to capture him alive — I can provide storage and containment services — free of charge.”
EXT. THE COPELAND ESTATE — NIGHT: Ivy, Pia and Bethany are lying on chaise lounges on Bethany’s bedroom lanai looking at the stars. The lights in the yard are off.
Bethany to Ivy, “Pass me the Milky Way”
Pia, “You call your — eh — pipe, The Milky Way?”
Bethany packs a fresh bowl, “My bong? Yes”
Pia, “Why?”
Bethany lights it and takes a hit — she says as she exhales, “Because it’s the center of my universe.”
Ivy takes the bong from Bethany, “Bethany was on her way to becoming an astrophysicist before Chance swept her feet. Right Bethany?”
Bethany take the bong back from Ivy and reloads it, “Right!”
She passes it to Pia but Pia passes, “Really? Wow! What was your area of study?”
Bethany takes the hit and as she exhales, she say, “Black holes” She chuckles, “But, now I mainly focus on the Big Bong Theory. Get it?”
Pia pointing to the night sky, “I’m sure you know there’s a black hole at the center of the Milky Way.”
Bethany reloading the Milky Way, “I do”
Pia, “The Maya believe the road leading to the entrance of the underworld originates there. They call it Hunab Ku or “The Galactic Butterfly.”
Ivy takes the bong from Bethany, “Cool.”
Pia, “Star gazing is absolutely amazing here!”
Bethany, “Yup — limited light pollution.”
Ivy pointing to the sky, “There’s the Pleiades — Makali`i in Hawaiian — means ‘little eyes’”
Pia, “The Maya refer to it as 400 Hundred Boys”
Bethany salaciously, “Oooooh, I like the sound of that”
Pia sighs, “Pass me the Milky Way.” Bethany hand it to Pia who takes a huge hit.
Pia exhales and says, “It’s kinda of a cautionary tale. 400 boys wanted to build a hut on the beach but could not budge the giant tree they were planning on using as main support, so they asked a giant who happened to be reclining nearby. The giant mocked them for their weakness, so they plotted to kill him. He overheard their plan, so he played dead. When they approached him, he sprang up and killed them all. They ascended into the heavens to become the star cluster known as the Pleaides. The giant was later killed by the Hero Twins — but that’s another story”
She turns toward Bethany handing her back the bong, “The 400 Boys are the patron deities of alcohol”
Bethany packing herself another hit, “That story makes me want to unbuckle Orion’s Belt”
Dr. Hau knocks on the open door, “I just wanted to say goodnight. See you all bright and early” His hair is damp from the shower
Bethany, “Not me you won’t. Ivy’s picking you up at 4:30. I’ll set the timer on the coffee maker tonight — so you’re on your own after that. Help yourselves to anything in the fridge”
Ivy groans and gets up, “Guess I should head out too. Good night all. See you at 4:30 sharp. Good night Pia — thanks again for coming to my class”
Pia, “It was my pleasure”
Bethany to Ivy, “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya”
Ivy to Bethany, “How very colloquial.” To Dr. Hau, “Always a pleasure.” She exits the bedroom followed by Dr. Hau.
INT. IVY’S SHACK — NIGHT: She is checking her e-mails when she sees the blanket email from DLNR. She opens it and goes to the DLNR website. She begins reading the reported sightings and signs. She decides to plot them by time, date and location in ARCGIS. As she does so, she notices that some of the sightings reported have times close together on the same day but at sites miles apart. Lucky is by her feet licking his balls
Ivy to Lucky, “What the fuck Luck?” Lucky looks up, thumps his tail. When he doesn’t answer she say to him, “What’s wrong boy? Balls got your tongue?” Lucky goes back to licking his balls.
Ivy turns back to plotting the sightings and/or signs in new GIS layers — with a different layer for each of the dates.
INT. PIA IN HER SUITE, COPELAND ESTATE — MOMENTS LATER: She is attempting to geo-reference some of the images taken from the video footage and is searching the face of Switch Backs using Google Earth when she sees a large rock outcropping that appears to be an exact match. As she zooms in, she sees what appears to be a small opening in the cliff face just above the ledge.
Pia to herself, “Hello…”
She takes a screen shot, saves it to her desktop and sends it to Dr. Hau. She tries to zoom in more, but the image become too blurry to make anything out. She closes her laptop and begins packing her equipment. Bethany knocks on her door
Bethany, “Warm clothes delivery.” She is holding a stack of designer ski wear including a parka and gloves. She says to Pia, “Borrow whatever you like — trust me, the temperatures up there will rattle your bones and make your nipples stand at attention.”
Pia takes the stack, “Thank you Bethany — you’ve already been so generous.”
Bethany, “Pashaw! It’s nothing.” She waves good night and heads down the hall to her boudoir
INT. DR. HAU’S SUITE, COPELAND ESTATE — MOMENTS LATER: He is sitting on the edge of the bed. He has the mysterious case open facing him. There seems to be a soft light generating from within the case itself — casting a greenish glow onto his face. He snaps the case close and the room goes dark.
TO BE CONTINUED…
[1] http://www.differencebetween.net/science/nature/difference-between-panther-and-jaguars/
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaguar
[3]this website is still up as of 7/20/2012