I have to admit, as a woman, when a man tries to control the discussion by saying “let’s discuss this intellectually” I tend to hear “in other words, let’s not be like all stupid emotional women, amirite?”
Online, at least, anything a woman says after that, even if she is a Harvard PhD with 10,000 scholarly publications, is put down as emotional, incorrect, histrionic, illogical … the list goes on and on. Though if you comment with a genderless username or a masculine one, the same is not always the case.
I participate in a forum that uses game character avatars. So if a male human being uses a female avatar, they are often assumed to be women and shown the same discourtesy. I have seen men have to type “I’m a dude, dude” in response to sexist shutdowns that have nothing to do with logic, factual correctness or emotions or lack thereof.
So like Steve, I have to take a breath and not respond to that particularly aggravating phrase in anger. Because if that is someone’s go-to opening remark, they are obviously afraid. If they’re afraid because they’ve taken the bold step to deal with their fears, then they should be encouraged. Too many white people (of which I am one) won’t even come to the table.