Alone Without Feeling Lonely
Or Feeling Lonely Surrounded by Many
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone, and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.” -Paul Tillich.
For much of my life, I would fear being alone.
I’d run away from solitude, for solitude meant loneliness.
When stuck alone, I’d need a friend, a party, or anything distracting.
I had to stay busy to ignore the sadness invading me.
The great void that was hurting and frightening.
That compressed my chest and made me want to escape my body.
Then, I had babies.
One. Two. Three. Four.
And I was filled and completely happy…
Until we met again in the detour.
Even blessed with a beautiful family,
a good business with great employees,
in a tiny hometown where everybody knew me,
emptiness was waiting silently.
Like a feline watching its prey,
catching me at every turn,
tracking each weakness and frailty,
and every instant of solitude.
