Seven Steps To Forgiveness

The “f” word, ugh… I am speaking about forgiveness. We all want forgiveness and the release it can bring to our lives and to our hearts. It’s not hard to say — it is hard to make it stick. For me, it was the Oprah Winfrey show that was my forgiveness “aha” moment. To forgive is not to condone the act done by whoever, but to release the hurt, pain, resentment, and anger that lives in our heart, mind, and soul.

Want to be free of those feelings that are holding you down? Follow these 7 steps to release the emotions of hurt, pain, resentment, anger, and set your heart and soul free.

1) Identify The Act

What exactly is it you need to forgive? Write down in as much detail as possible what you keep holding onto. What is it that you cannot let go?

2) The Emotions

Emotions drive us to hold onto things. How did this make you feel? How do you feel today about it? Be as specific as you can with the emotions that come up every time you relive this act. If you need to, sit quiet for a few minutes connecting with your breath and let the emotions come to the surface.

3) The Person Responsible

Who is this person? What is your relationship like now? What were the circumstances involving this act? Write it down with as much description and honesty as you can.

4) Your Participation

What was your participation in this? That’s not implying that you caused it, but rather asking why you didn’t stop it. Why didn’t you protect yourself? Do not blame yourself, that is not the direction to go. We all participate in things that happen in our lives, and sometimes in order to fully forgive someone, we must also forgive ourselves for our participation.

5) Changing the Future

What will it look like when all this is released? How will you feel? What will the interaction be like with this person? What will your day look like with this release of emotions and the healing that will come?

6) Forgiveness

Write a letter to this person forgiving them for whatever happened. Tell them why you are forgiving them. Do not forget to forgive yourself as well. Do not be accusatory, just be honest about the impact this incident had on your life. Explain how forgiving them will continue to change your life in a healthy way.

7) The Release

Take this letter and all your notes and have a ceremony. Burn them, cut them into tiny pieces and throw them away. Put them in water and let them dissolve. Say a mantra of forgiveness such as ”I forgive you, I heal by forgiving myself and letting love back into my heart.”

Do not forget to include praise for yourself. This is not easy sometimes, but if you wish to have peace in your soul then these steps will certainly get you there. You are now released from bringing this up anymore, it is gone, it is released, and you are free from it.

Bravo to you for honoring yourself. Take some time to be proud of the hard work you have just worked through. May your life be filled with love and light.