Facebook I do not give you the right to erase my life

Janique Laudouar
Aug 28, 2017 · 11 min read

Has Facebook the right to erase my past ?

Now that we are all bound to social networks « pour le meilleur et pour le pire » it is time to analyze the side effects on our private life. Unfriend is one of the most unpleasant and tricky facility offered by Facebook. By giving the unilateral right to one FB user to restreint, unfollow, unfriend or block a « friend » or rather an « ex-friend », Facebook has given to one human being the right to deny the past of another human being. Why ? Because when someone has been pro active texting you, posting night and day, sending you videos and images and fun emojis almost everyday for three years and suddenly decides he or she has nothing to do with you anymore, expect your whole virtual life to disappear with the unfriending/blocking process. Unfriending and blocking not only means that you stop being friends with someone, why not, it happens in real life, but it means that all your own posts, comments, publications of the years preceding the death sentence will disappear from you past news feed if they are tagged or associated with your ex FB friend… just as if you never existed. Suddenly you have no more past life, no trace of shared events and shared frienship or love story.

Blocking on Facebook: the nuclear weapon

Blocking is a Nuclear weapon indeed. I’ll try a metaphor. How would you like it if someone could get into you house and steal all the postcards, letters, photos, paintings and memories of your past life ? Facebook is a burglar!

Unfriend side effects and social repercussions

With unfriending/blocking Facebook is encouraging an immature, coward, rude behaviour. « A study out of Nottingham Trent University in the UK found that Facebook users tend to put up with bullying in their network for basically the same reason they did in high school. Because as obnoxious as those “mean girls” and bullies are, they’re still popular.” But we are not high school kids anymore, we are adults some of us have passed sixty. Should we behave like teenagers ? What is this urge to erase and deny our past and treat a person as she never existed ?

Facebook we love you but …

We love the facility of belonging to a group or creating a Page, we love live video and our calendar of events, we love to follow our friends and greet new ones. We love the work you put in innovation inventing new features and developing apps all the time.

Facebook is the realm of Manipulation

But we must admit that Facebook is the realm of Manipulators : stalkers, naricissistic perverts, mythomans, not to mention more dangerous social behaviours. Unfriending goes with the pretend trends and perverse codes born with social networks such as ghosting a lover — disappearing from his/her life without a word — or breadcrumbing potential lovers or ex-ones, which means keeping them around by rare posts, a kind line or a brief comment, a most frustrating habit for the breadcrumbed targets.

Facebook is the realm of Addiction

Sharing is fantastic new way of life but it can become an addiction and the worst of all. You can measure your Facebook addiction reading (in French) 10 signes que vous êtes addict à Facebook”. Sharing is a very personal choice when it comes to sharing with another person when you both feeel close. You easily get used to see them as a sharing partner, sharing information or emotion and life can be wonderful when it is punctuated by this daily or weekly complicity with your friends. When I first started with the Internet, there was a netiquette, a good behaviour code. It seems to have disappear and it is a shame. More than ever we need moral ethical codes. If we adults use brutality, if we lack courage for a face to face explanation with a friend we know in real life, if we do not bother to make a proper closure to several years of friendship in Facebook, what do we have to say to our children ? They are already fed with « bad behaviour » coming from everywhere, from apps to social networks. I was amazed to learn that teenagers would so a « spring facebook cleansing » : dumping a human being is ranked as a housework task ! And there are apps for that Friend Remover PRO App.

Blocking is brutal : use Soft Power

What Really Happens When We Unfriend Someone On Facebook? writes Katherine Marko (June 21, 2017). Well the fact is that nobody knows how the blocked friend is going to react, from « Good ! » to depression or even suicide if you used to share an intense virtual life. There are softer ways not to see this person in your news feed. “ All in all, unfriending is pretty unfriendly, and should only be used as a last resort. (…) Before you unfriend someone on Facebook, adjust your settings so you don’t see their updates.” Try real life says Marko : “But if you have real drama that needs sorting, don’t unfollow, unfriend or block your friend. Hash it out in real life — over coffee. Feelings get hurt when people become unfriended.Think before you unfriend, unfollow or block.

copyright Shepard Fairey https://obeygiant.com/ Eye Alert, Print

Facebook I do not give you the right to revert My Past

When it comes to the past, I do not agree with facebook Politics when it comes to the right to delete my past Time Line posts or On This Day Feed : « Limit the audience for your old posts for your Timeline This will revert all your previous posts from “Public” or “Friends of Friends” to just “Friends”. But if you’ve tagged a Friend in one of your posts, their Friends can see that since that is the default setting when tagging someone. You can also choose to have someone removed from your On This Day Feed, so Facebook won’t resurface a person’s posts from years past ».Well I like my past to resurface and remind me who I am. Why offer On this Day if I am blocked to use it ?

Janique Laudouar

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Prospective, innovation, collaboratif, participatif, partage. Lanceuse d’alerte. Le Blog de la Ménagère http://www.leblogdelamenagere.info/ @PoliticMenage