Finding my Feminism
Reconciling my previous connotations on striving for equality
I am a feminist, let me just get that straight. I have been for a long time and will always remain to be one. However, it was only until earlier this year that I realised what kind of feminist I was.
When I first found out about feminism as a formal academic, in-real-life theory, it was through Tumblr (obviously). That was where a lot of my exploration and reading up on feminist literature started. From that introduction, I saw feminism as activism. A feminist was someone who was loud and proud and weren’t afraid to share their feminist words in different spaces, even if these opinions weren’t welcomed. Feminism was artistic in the form of zines and spoken word and embodied a certain lifestyle which was opposed to a social norm. These were all very literal and apparent ways of viewing the movement. Although I didn’t ‘dress as a feminist’ or physically embodied the slogans/symbols, I felt like in order to be a feminist, I had to like, or at least appreciate, those things too. And, to be honest, I didn’t. I respected the meaning behind the words and presentation that inspired these ways of portraying feminism but the reality was that because I wasn’t keen on representing feminism in that way, that I didn’t feel truly part of the movement. I preferred reading about feminism’s development and affect to society quietly, in the comfort of my laptop, and occasionally writing about it from a quantitative persepctive. I was drawn to feminism not because it the writing freed me from oppression, but because it allowed me to see what was wrong with society.
Then, feminism went mainstream. Feminism became popularised by female celebrities of all forms. There’s Emma Watson, Beyoncé, Caitlin Moran just to name a few. These women provided an alternative voice and opened up about the topic of feminism to a whole new spectrum of people. Even men started to get involved. I don’t buy this version either. Simply by its nature of distribution (i.e. traditional and online media), the movement is oversimplified to a point which dilutes the message to ensure that it sells. Feminism and ‘empowerment’ become empty and void of meaning beyond ‘pink is not a girly colour, women like blue too’. This is, of course, also an oversimplification but it makes the point that popularised interpretations of feminism does not provide the space for reflection and accepts our wider society norms as acceptable. Recently, feminist author Ngozi Adichie discussed this in an interview which she talks about how she is a prolific author in her own right and not because her speech was used in Beyoncé’s song ‘****Flawless’.
‘Her style is not my style, but I do find it interesting that she takes a stand in political and social issues, since a few years. She portrays a woman who is in charge of her own destiny, who does her own thing, and she has girl power. I am very taken with that…Still, her type of feminism is not mine, as it is the kind that, at the same time, gives quite a lot of space to the necessity of men. I think men are lovely, but I don’t think that women should relate everything they do to men: did he hurt me, do I forgive him, did he put a ring on my finger? We women are so conditioned to relate everything to men.
Ngozi Adichie, for me, perfectly describes how popular feminism can forget its roots. Even though the ultimate end goal of securing gender equality is the same, the means of the stages in between are vastly different and for the most part, that is okay.
What really sparked this awakening was a video that was made by Shannon Boodram. In talking about her work as a sexologist, she remarked that activism wasn’t the means to which she wanted to express liberation. It was a passing comment, one which the video did not centre around, but something clicked within me. I realised that there were many ways in whcih people and strive to make feminist ideals a reality. Like Shan, I admire people who do actively take matters into their own hands. I believe that it is necessary for there to be activists in order for results. Doing things within the framework of the status quo sometimes will not get you anywhere.
However, sometimes it can, but it requires a different form of preparation, planning, and doing. Both methods are valid and it was something I learnt through running Women Leaders of Tomorrow last year. By striking a balance between fighting against the systematic struggle and translating that into a digestible form which allows for rational, reflective thinking, it becomes palpable even to those who have no prior knowledge about what feminism is about or what it strives to achieve. I admit, there are better methods under different contexts but it is important that we create spaces which foster discussions from different angles, whether that may be activism, literature, or explaining how emancipation may be achieved within certain economic, social, or cultural constraints.
The difficulty with doing so is how feminism intrinsically impacts all aspects of our lives. There is virtually no topic of discussion which does not involve feminism because gender is an integral part of how society was built. This can make the topic difficult to break down because of how easy it can be criticised from other perspectives. The key to overcoming this is to encourage the expansion of feminism from simply ‘gender equality’ to fighting the stigma and reality that comes with being a woman. Whilst these conversations often go into one ear and out of the other, understanding how microcosms spiral into very real, wider societal consquences.
At the end of the day, I have come to realise that my feminism isn’t activist and it isn’t mainstream either. If I had to put a label on it, I would describe it as theoretically feminist supported by empirical evidence. It would seem to me that the way I think about feminism is backwards, weaving statistical realities with the experiences both myself and other women have faced. When described in this way, I no longer feel limited by the pursuit of activist nature of feminism and can justify these actions, to myself and others, through understanding the concrete numericals behind them — threading the fine line of proportionality in regards to the treatment of feminism in the real world.
