The Silence of the River

Jannik Drescher
Sep 6, 2018 · 4 min read

What is it about silence that is so fascinating?
Ever since I was born, I had been growing with the diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. It´s a brain disorder marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. And while it was a constant frame I put on myself and other people put on me as they are perfectly eligible to do so, while slowly merging into the shoes of learning what it means to be an adult, I am starting to find more and more pleasure in the activities I used to resent a lot when I was young.
There is a change happening, and I am more than happy to see it take place. One of the central things I always had a lot of trouble with and with which I am confronted by on a daily basis again now that the lectures and seminars have started, is listening. As many people with ADHD, I get bored extremely, and I mean, extremely fast. I know many situations where was engaged in a conversation where I´d rather just have left or caught myself daydreaming about what I´m going to have for dinner or thinking about that bird sitting on the tree next to me and why birds even make sounds and so on and on and on. By the time someone was finished with what they were saying I was basically contemplating whether or not I could climb Mount Everest next week.
But one thing about conversation that has always really struck me with awe, is silence. And while this is something which should in all theory trigger my boredom receptors faster than anything else, it instead just calms me down. I realized this again yesterday when I was taking a walk with a friend to a nearby river.

Finland: The country of no sound

I already talked about the effect that silence had on me in a previous article. The calming character of it in the frame of nature is a feeling nowhere else to be found.
Something that I noticed immediately after I had moved here which is now six days ago, is that the conception of time was different for me. While back in Germany, most places were consumed by noise and it seemed like time itself was in a constant rush as it was in the run to catch a leaving train, it is the complete opposite in Finland. There is no train to catch, instead it feels like time is frozen, and everything is covered in a veil of silence and repose. There are no unnecessary noises like screams or car horns or radios blasting out of apartments. Instead, there is only the bare minimum of volume that is necessary. That is also partly because the Finnish people are, as I have experienced it, a very polite and respectful folk. They are no connoisseurs of unnecessary conversations or pointless bragging, but rather very goal-oriented and level-headed. Something which I, coming from a totally different environment welcome with open arms.
This silence also reflects in Finland´s nature. When my friend and I arrived at a vantage point of the lake, we just stopped and took in the silence for a minute or two. While he was somewhat used to this, it is still something very new to me which I will gladly get used to.

The Thought Process

To me, it is a contradiction. As a person living with ADHD, I live in a state of constant chaos in my head. At every moment, there are at least 200 thoughts and questions floating through my head and I´m trying to grasp one or two to work on. To be able to focus, I somehow always need to be doing at least 2 things at the same time. I always need to be doing something and hate nothing more than being stuck or stagnant. So much so that even if I have worked on something all day, I always keep a stack of books and a list with things I can do just in case I have some spare time. And while this has gotten better over the last year because I had the opportunity to make some very impactful first-time experiences, there is still a subliminal pressure weighing on the back of my head every time I am not in motion.
And I thought that there was no escape other than taking Ritalin, the medication people with ADHD and ADD are prescribed so it will reorganize their brain structure. But as it turns out there is. And to me, it is silence, strictly speaking the silence you experience when you overlook a vast land like a river, a lake or a valley that has the same effect of repose and quiet fulfillment on me and on some other people I talked to with the same issues.
And while I would never have expected for that to be the case that I´d find this kind of an enlightenment from a simple walk, I´m glad I did. Sometimes it does not take a grande scheme to take your mind away from the chaos. Often times, it can be something as simple as a walk in the evening to give you an answer to a question which you hadn´t even asked yourself before up until this point. And if that is what I have learned in six day so far while being here, I am more than eager to learn about the next 250.

Written by

22 year old student of English and Rhetoric from Europe. Currently studying in Finland. Host of The Story House Podcast.

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