Why you should write

When I was little, I didn’t get much praise. I was to afraid to change anything about it, but when I wrote stories, people gave me some appreciation.

Usually.

I haven’t shown anything to my family for a long time now, because I don’t think that they would like it. One person very close to me even said that he couldn’t see any artistic value in my ideas. They were too realistic, he said. I never heard that complain since then. Still, you have to learn to live with criticism and I would like to think, that I got better.

Did I get published? Twice, fictionwise, but I wrote a lot more. I just continued to write stories and I’m usually very pessimistic, when I send something to a publisher. I had more success when I wrote articles for the local newspaper. I finally got some appreciation, the one thing I wanted most in the world, besides friends or love.

It makes me feel uncomfortable.

It’s just a job. I get better, I earn a few bucks and most of the time I don’t even like the articles anymore. The same counts for the shortstories (without the money so far).

Looking at your old stuff isn’t very pleasant. Even if I get some nice comments, it doesn’t change a lot about my living conditions or my personal problems. Writing became just something I got used to do as a routine. I have written two novels so far and rewrote most of the first book. I think it became way more readable since then, but it ceased to be about pleasure. It is work, plain and simple. Should I finally find a publisher, the book will not be mine anymore, the public will owe it (and with public I mean, six guys and maybe a family member, who puts the book under his table). What they think will be more important, than all my grumpy ramblings or fears combined.

I can’t even say, that I am the best. I am only more productive than most of my friends. I become envious about their stuff, because it is really good, beautiful even. In my mind, my writing is just that, my writing.

So why should you write at all?

Why should you bother with it, if you have the same doubts, if you know that you may never be successful or get some praise to finally feel better about yourself?

Because writing gives you the satisfaction of getting something done. It doesn’t matter if you like it, you actively created something. Do not underestimate the feeling of finishing something, especially at times, when nothing comes to an end. And even if you don’t finish your piece right away, you have all the time in the world (if you are not under contract, I mean). Every sentence you write is actual progress. You have done something at this moment and that counts, as small as it may be.

And if your first tries are shit, so what? Everyone is shit, when they start. Some people learn faster than others, but again, so what? It isn’t about having new ideas, it is about getting better with the craft, because you can learn to structure a story or appreciate the value of one small word. Writing is more than just telling a story, living your fantasies or dreaming for a better world.

Writing is about endurance, taking your time and learn to live with failure. If you can learn to overcome those obstacles, you will get one of those little moments of triumph whenever you finished your piece.

Nobody can take this away from you.

Nobody.

This moment is for you and just for you alone.

Enjoy it.