The Decision Has Been Made
Four months ago in April of 2016, I made the decision to create a healthier version of myself. This was after gaining almost 100 pounds since 2012. Prior to that, I was working out almost every day doing boxing, martial arts and running and eating relatively healthfully. I injured my shoulder in a sparring match and when this happened I was devastated and stopped working out entirely and started eating all the wrong foods. This was a recipe for disaster.
I remember rationizling to myself that it was ok that I was taking a break from my healthy lifestyle, that I needed to focus on healing my shoulder and that I could easily lose the weight whenever I chose to do so in the future.
The problem was that after gaining about 50 pounds, the scales had tipped too far and I felt helpless to be able to do anything about it. Working out was physically harder than it had ever been and I did not have the mental will at that point to fight through my negative self-talk. I was resigned that this was now my life.
My friends and family were starting to comment on my sever weight gain, so I did make the decision to join a few gyms. But I usually only lasted a couple of weeks each time before quitting because my heart wasn’t in it.
At the same time I was giving up on any efforts to exercise, I was also giving into the temptation of eating terrible foods. I remember being on a strict budget financially during most of this time and telling myself that the one thing I could splurge on was food. It became a comfort to always “allow” myself to have whatever food I wanted. I ate out virtually every single meal and most of the meals were fast food.
I continued to gain weight until I had reached 100 pounds gained in 2014. At that point, I was at my heaviest ever, tipping the scales at 267 pounds. Since then I’ve lost about 12 pounds on my own and have more or less maintained my weight of 255.
In December of 2015 things began to change. I started a new job and decided to give up my car because I no longer needed it due to taking public transportation 5 days per week to The City. This was the best decision I could have made because by giving up my car, I was forced to plan out my meals because I could only make it to the grocery store once per week.
It was around this same time that my big brother, Michael and I had a candid conversation where he let me know that he was really worried about my weight gain and asked if I had ever thought about weight loss surgery.
I value my brothers opinion very much and it was at that point that I made the decision to ask my doctor if I was a candidate for weight loss surgery. I was referred by her to the bariatric department at Alta Bates Summit Medical Center in Oakland and found out that I was indeed a candidate and at that moment was overcome by an intense feeling of hope.
I had all sorts of thoughts running through my mind. Could I actually lose the weight I had gained. Could I get rid of the knee pain and back pain I had begun to feel after having added so much weight to my joints. Was it actually possible for me to look and feel sexy again? Could I gain my body confidence back? These questions have become the reason I am committed to embarking on this journey.
Welcome to my journey of transformation! This blog will chronicle my weight loss journey and everything that goes along with that from my physcial experience of weight loss to my emotional experience of weight loss, even my experience getting back into the dating scene. I am 100% committed to a full transformation and I am so glad you’re here to enjoy the journey with me!