Having a Midlife Crisis? How to identify and cope with being in the Midlife Crisis Zone.

Midlife Crisis

The first couple of questions that came to my mind regarding this topic is; what is a midlife crisis and how old are you when you enter it?

The definition of a midlife crisis is an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in the middle-aged individuals. The ages typically range from 45 to 65 years of age.

When I first heard of a midlife crisis as a young male, I thought it was when a man reached his 50’s or 60’s and bought a flashy red corvette, got a divorce and married a model half his age.

What I didn’t know at the time is you can experience a midlife crisis as early as your forties. It wasn’t until I turned 45 when I noticed I started to change. My emotions and confidence were all over the place with managing two teenage daughters, planning for college, married for 22 years and retirement on the horizon. I started to feel anxious and depressed about my future as a man, father and husband. I started to ask the follow questions:

1. What are my life goals and have a met any of them?
2. Have a been a good husband/father?
3. Have I been successful at my job?
4. Have I provided a good living for my family?
5. Have I wasted years of my life not doing the things I love?
6. Why I haven’t buckled down on my fitness and health?

My Story

My personal story is rife with several years of dealing with sick kids and dealing with hospital bills. One of my daughters had open heart surgery and my oldest had 2 hip surgeries and diagnosed with a rare auto-immune disease. These medical issue came with one at birth and the other (my oldest) while in high school. All of this was a strain on my marriage and our quality of life.

All the medical bills, continuous co-pays , doctor visit hit us hard while both of us were/are holding down full time jobs. I learned that most families can get through the hard part of the surgeries and multiple doctor visits, it is the aftermath that gets them. After being sandblasted with these issues, my wife and I were barley hanging on to our relationship. It wasn’t until we actually started communicating with each other and taking the time to heal our marriage, that I learned I was dealing with the start of a midlife crisis. I started thinking about my past regrets and future hurdles to come. I had to ask myself was I doing enough in my life and accomplishing my goals before I hit my golden years?

My wife and I are in a very good place now and my crisis is the reason I started my podcast channel and my website. I needed something to challenge myself and use my stories to help others in their life issues. I wouldn’t change anything and I’m very grateful to pay it forward. I’ve combated my midlife crisis by helping others and trying to have a side-hustle that would provide extra income for my family.

Warning Signs

I think all of us, when we hit those middle years of life, have similar questions. We are wanting to know if we have lived a full and fulfilled life? Have we accomplished all we wanted to do before we hit the golden years of life? So, I am going to list some general warning signs for both men and women who may be starting to hit the midlife crisis zone. Then I will list some ideas how to manage your life to maybe not prevent it ( I personally think we will all go through a midlife crisis of some sort) but to fight back and not just survive, but to thrive in those years of life.

Signs for Men

• Midlife crisis in men may be centered around their achievements.
• Regret about not taking actions to better their careers when they were younger.
• Feelings of dissatisfaction with career, marriage, or health.
• Feeling the pressing need to make major changes in life because time is short.
• Loss of stamina
• Feelings of boredom, emptiness and meaninglessness.
• Impulsive, often rash actions.
• Dramatic changes in behavior and appearance.

Signs for Women

• An emotional state where every woman thinks that almost one half of her life is over.
• There is a feeling that she is no longer productive.
• They feel they are not beautiful or confident.
• There are times that she is bored, confused and afraid of loss.
• Impulsive, often rash actions.
• Intense feelings of nostalgia, chronic reminiscence about the past
• Feelings of dissatisfaction with career, marriage, or health

This is not an all exclusive list, but you get an average range of signs for recognizing a Midlife crisis. So, how do we fight back, cope, and survive/thrive through this zone? Here is a list of ideas to cope when you are in a midlife crisis:

Coping with a Midlife Crisis

• Embrace Your Creative Side. Get creative to help spur some inspiration.
• Mindful Meditation. Mindful meditation is a great way to reconnect with your inner self and create new insights.
• Make Some Changes.
• Practice Gratitude.
• Steer Clear of Social Media.
• Hang Out With Like-Minded People.
• Interrupt your internal critic.
• Stay present.
• Share your pain with others.
• Take small steps; don’t leap.

Summary

Remember, you are not alone in this midlife crisis battle. Today, I have given you some warning signs to watch out for and a list of ideas to assist you in coping with a midlife crisis. I would love some feedback and comments how you have handle your midlife journey? Successes and failures would help all of us to learn to cope with upcoming obstacles as we get older.

Thanks for reading,

Jarad