A New Chapter.
We’ve all been there.
The moments leading up to a new time where we may feel utterly afraid & uncertain of how or what will happen next.
Whether it be a breakup, a big move, a new school, or even a new job.
Every human being on earth knows this feeling.
Its undeniably unavoidable.
We remind ourselves over and over in our head that it will be beautiful, yet that one little feeling of uncertainty still looms over our heads, aching from one moment to the next.
The reality is, something beautiful can be found in the space between those moments.
Something huge as a matter of fact. An understanding of sorts.
Right now I’m sitting outside in the backyard I grew up in. Music in my ears, fire set, whiskey poured.
I grew up my entire life in this home. Memories of conversations, adventures, celebrations, and grievances.
Days spent playing catch in the pool with my cousins, sliding on boogie boards, seein’ who could make it to the other side.
A reminder of epic moments, tough times, and the good.
The duality we live in, called life.
My parents sold the house and are movin’ to Lake Arrowhead to experience an exciting new life.
My brother — recent graduate from IU, moving to NY to explore a career in Finance.
As I think about their new adventures I wonder about what their journey’s will look like, what lie in front of them, and how it relates to me.
I feel that we’re all on a little journey actually.
digging a little bit deeper
discovering a little bit more about who we are.
In 1 week I leave for Portugal and holy shit am I nervous, excited, afraid, and fucking INVIGORATED.
My time over the last year primarily consisted of me waking up everyday and looking myself right in the fucking eye and working through my inner dialogue.
In a week I’ll be given a chance to bring my new self into a whole new world.
a bit more aware and conscious of who I am and how I want to contribute to the world.
A time to play with how I want show up in the world. A new chapter of sorts.
Over the last few weeks I’ve been spending my mornings outside in the fresh air, cup of coffee in hand, sun warmin me up, buried in a little booklet written by Alan Watts.
It was his understanding that the marriage of our dualities we experience in life is how we define meaning greater than the dualities themselves.
The understanding that joining together a duality like happiness & sadness, hot & cold, sick & healthy
Or rather — the love between a mother and a father,
is an opportunity to create something that has far greater meaning then each of them alone.
I like to call that life.
A day-to-day fucking miracle meant to be lived one breath at a time.
one chapter at a time.
Today, I’ve been feeling especially encouraged to take the necessary time and sit with the unease I’ve been feeling leading up to this new period.
by sitting with the pain in a single yoga pose, completely aware of its meaning, gently letting it be.
by meditating every day in my room, gently reminding myself I actually do have the power to control how I feel and what I think.
by exercising to release the inner tensions boiling up inside.
by giving myself the necessary space to work, educate, and grow.
by surrounding myself with people in my life whom I love and care about so deeply.
by finding joy in the simplest moments in life…
like sitting with myself at the airport…
scared as shit,
slowly picking up an ice cold latte…
raising it up to my mouth,
as the flavor of life…