I’ve Officially Read the Dumbest thing on the Internet.

How I feel after reading the month-old tapioca pudding that was OCC Republicans’ Facebook post.

You couldn’t let me have just one night, could you? Here I was, making a grilled cheese and some clam chowder, browsing Facebook when I read it. The dumbest thing on the internet.

So thanks, OCC College Republicans. You’ve made that essay I was going to work on tonight remain unwritten. You’ve made me sit at my keyboard astounded at how someone could write something so utterly stupid while my dinner gets cold. “Why not just eat and then write this?” Because I simply can’t focus knowing that there’s somebody out there in Orange County, content with thinking that they just posted some edgy dismantling of the establishment without having been told this:

Your post was the dumbest thing I have ever read in my entire life.

I’m referring to this heaping pile of garbage. So now, instead of eating my grilled cheese and my clam chowder, instead of working on my paper, and instead of packing for CRP, I have to respond to your idiotic diatribe that sounds like it was penned by a mescaline-fueled Alex Jones wannabe. I have to go line by line and not just tell you that what you wrote was stupid, but tell you why it’s so stupid. So here we go. Thanks for ruining my dinner again, by the way.

Leesa Danzek and the establishment Republicans currently coronated in control of the California College Republicans claim to care about their constituents, and claim to encourage the fight against the oppressive Left on our college campuses. This could not be further from the truth.

Right out of the gate, I’m going to have to make a disclaimer that I’m not going to point out your poor spelling, your incorrect grammar, or your bumbling prose every time you disappoint your high school English teacher. I’ll just get it out of the way right here with a friendly tip: double check that your writing makes grammatical sense before you smash the post button on Facebook before staring at some massive Orwellian poster of Tomi Lahren. Hell, if you need to, use Grammarly. It makes your posts easier to understand, and in my case, easier to admire for the dumpster fires they are if you use proper English. Now to address the substance, or lack thereof, in your argument.

  1. What the hell is the “establishment Republicans” in CCR? What do you think board members actually do? How can there be an establishment if nobody on the board has been on it for more than a few years? Do board members get some sort of special benefit that I wasn’t told about? Because if there’s any real benefit to being on the board besides knowing that you’re making California a better place, I have some people to sue.
  2. They “don’t care about their constituents?” Are you kidding me? Why the hell would they spend months planning conventions, preparing GOTVs, supporting activists on campus (including at OCC, you ungrateful bunch), and hosting event after event for no monetary reward? If you can honestly and sincerely tell me that the current board (or any board back to 2013) don’t/didn’t care about College Republicans, I will gladly have you committed.
  3. The claims of CCR to be fighting against the oppressive left on campus are unfounded? Is that what you’re honestly saying?Why did they create a 45 page guide on how to combat the left on campus? Why did they advocate for the firing of your haywire professor? Why did they show up at UC Davis to fight back against rioters and protect free speech? Why did they speak out against violent professors at CSUF? Why did they demand the safety and security of conservative students on campus? You’re right. They don’t care.
“How can we take back the state of California from the Democrat supermajority?” The is the soul-searching question which the California Republican Party is asking itself right now.

You’re right, it’s a great question. But I can tell you that ditching a GOTV event for California Republicans to get some camera time on Hannity in Las Vegas — as your candidate for chair did — is not the way to take this state back from the Democrats. There’s a reason Rebuild CCR has not a single endorsement from an elected official.

The solution is an organization called California College Republicans. Have you heard of it? Of course you haven’t, no one has. That is precisely the problem. CCR is the grassroots organization which coordinates activities between neighboring colleges as well the local Republican Party. The organization is led by a chairperson, a cabinet, and a handful of regional vice chairs who are responsible for various sectors of the state. In theory, if this organization were operating properly we would have a strong ground game on nearly every college campus in the state.

Two and a half thousand people have liked California College Republicans’ Facebook page. That’s more likes than any other state federation of College Republicans in our region. By your logic, every state in the Western Region of the College Republican National Committee should be crumbling to the hordes of Bernie Bros and anarchists.

Turns out, this organization is not only operating properly, but operating phenomenally. But you wouldn’t know that, because neither you nor your chapter have the time or energy to attend any statewide events that don’t have the word “convention” at the end of them.

Now, I have to break up this next paragraph because it’s just too much stupid for me to handle at once. My clam chowder is ice cold by the way. Thanks again for that.

The problem with CCR right now is that it is run inefficiently by people that care less about bettering the organization and the situation for conservatives on college campuses and more about how good things make them look. The current establishment players in control of CCR are led by Ivy Allen (state chair) and Leesa Danzek (co-chair).
  1. CCR has made “the situation” better for conservatives on college campuses. Refer to my response to your first idiotic statement above.
  2. Again, what the hell is the CCR establishment? At this point, might as well postulate that CCR is run by the Rockefellers and the lizard men, you nut.
These two individuals are great at shaking hands, smiling for pictures, and kissing babies but when it comes to coordinating a political movement to retake our college campuses from the radical left, these two have proven to be utterly incapable.

What do you think the CCR board actually does? I don’t think you understand the mission of this organization if you think it in any way involves kissing babies. But I’ll tell you what Ivy and Leesa are great at, in addition to making college campuses better for conservatives as demonstrated above. They’ve helped elect and re-elect Catharine Baker, Steve Knight, Scott Wilk, Tom Lackey, and a number of other Republicans across this state. They’ve coordinated precinct walks, organized phone banks, and pushed to stave off the Democrat supermajority.

And they would’ve been far more successful if you, your chapter, and the state board which you support decided to get out the vote for Young Kim and Ling Ling Chang instead of scurrying off the Nevada to assist a helpless campaign effort and get three seconds of face time on Fox News.

Ivy already graduated last year so her plan was to pass the baton to her good friend Leesa. Leesa should be moving on as well , as she’s already graduated, and to be eligible to run for State Chair of the California College Republicans you have to actually be a college student (shocking, I know), but in a desperate bid to cling to power, she has apparently registered for classes at Sacramento State. I imagine this is going to be quite the downgrade from the golden halls of USC but….ya know….a girl’s got to have power.

Take a look at the CCR Constitution. Find where it says you must be a full time student that has not yet graduated. That’s assuming you can read. Now consider the fact that at least in the last three years, no State Chair has been an undergraduate student. Again, you’d know this if you were involved in College Republicans to any meaningful extent.

The thing is, the colleges of California have decided to rebel against this failed leadership.

No they haven’t. Thrive CCR has more chapter endorsements (and Facebook likes from College Republicans) than Rebuild CCR.

Miss Ariana Rowlands from UCI is running an opposing slate called RebuildCCR which consists of some of the most talented and qualified CRs in the state. In Trump language, she really has “hired all the best people.”

Take a look at the Thrive slate. Read about everything they’ve done. From political consulting, to running campaigns, to bringing dormant chapters back to life, to serving on state boards in the past, this slate is a qualified and professional group. Now read about your slate. You have bloggers, random law school students with misspelled bios, and god knows who else. Quit pretending.

The RebuildCCR slate has received endorsements from almost all of the biggest, and most active CR chapters across the state. The people are clearly rejecting the failed establishment which gave the Democrats the supermajority in our state.

Again, this has been refuted. I’ve already called your post idiotic. Don’t make me call you a liar.

One of the ways that Leesa is trying to maintain control of the state is by engaging in outright voter suppression. Orange Coast College has been trying to charter with CCR for a significant period of time but they are refusing to charter us (despite meeting all qualifications and despite being constitutionally permitted) soon enough to give us a chance to vote at the upcoming CCR election where we intend to drain the swamp and install new leadership. We endorsed Rebuild, by the way. The irony of the situation is that we have actually been listed on their website for a few months as a CCR chapter (there is a signup link and everything). OCC is not alone in this. There are several other chapters who are being similarly suppressed because they have endorsed Ariana Rowlands and RebuildCCR.

ANDTHISMORNINGIWENTTOPUTONMYTINFOILHATANDICOULDN’TFIND ITBECAUSELEESAPUTFLUORIDEINMYWATERSONOWIHAVEAMNESIAOHMYGOD.

Give me a break.

You would think that the hard work done by the members of my club at OCC (one of the most successful clubs in the state) would be rewarded by CCR but I guess that just doesn’t matter when there is an election to be won. CCR should have been there to coordinate help for us while we stood up against the entire administration of our school but the current leadership is so inept that we haven’t heard a single word from them throughout this entire process.

I’ve linked evidence of them supporting you, you liar. Dangit, you made me do it. You made me call you a liar, you lying liar.

In closing, I want to offer this video footage of Leesa Danzek showing up at the Orange County Central Committee meeting on February 20 in order to block the local party’s endorsement of Ariana for state chair. Leesa’s actions were small-minded, petty, and it is unbecoming of a leader to think that by showing up unannounced and ambushing an endorsement vote, she will be able to cling to power. She is wrong. Instead of asking her own local Central Committee for an endorsement, Leesa, who lives in NorCal, decided to come all the way to SoCal and block Rebuild CCR’s endorsement. There will be more to come on this later!
  1. “OH NO FAIR, TRUMP WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY IN NEW YORK, NOT CAMPAIGN IN OTHER PEOPLES’ STATES.” That’s how you sound, you whiny dolt. Yes, Leesa and plenty of College Republicans came to the OCGOP meeting to voice their support for the Thrive slate. That’s how elections work.
  2. Leesa has every right to make the case as to why she believes she is the best leader for CCR. And frankly, she made a great speech. There’s a reason why she received applause that your candidate didn’t. Here’s the video for anyone interested:

So now that you’ve wasted the last hour and a half of my life, I have a grilled cheese and clam chowder to go microwave. You buffoon.

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