I haven’t written for Medium in some time. Life is hard! Anna and I are no longer living together. I am now living in Trinidad, CO. I am looking for work, and am so disheartened again! I had a great job in Denver but I could not afford a place to stay regardless. The rent there is so expensive and with only part-time income, I couldn’t get into a place. I worry about Anna a lot but I am doing my best not to concern myself more than she does. If she needed me to stay and help her, or if she wanted to reconcile our marriage, nothing about her behavior or actions indicated that, so I am on my own. This is very difficult because for over a decade, all my planning and work was for my future with Anna. I had learned to count on my wife for some things, I had invested a lot of time and money into my marriage, and that is all gone now.

I have only had one gig in the past several months, I guess I should get out there and DJ or something but without a car or a driver’s license I can’t really move my gear around. I have not found anyone to play with yet either. I should take my acoustic guitar out and go play around outside before it snows. I will let you know how that works! If any one who reads this is interested in playing rock music, please let me know! My e-mail address is dhv1977@hotmail.com . Please do yourself a strange and listen to this project I contributed to. https://morlox.bandcamp.com/album/alien-death-strike-public-remixes

My health is moderate. I have some stomach problems and I am always a little worried my back will give me trouble again. But really, I am okay. Probation is still dominating my decision making now. I do my best to be content, but ambition and my lack of opportunity coalesce into emotional and mental suffering. I believe the unease and emotional pain I feel are in tune with the common deterioration of the human existence. I really do believe many people suffer now for the excess of just a few, and those who have, do not have because of their worth to the community or to humanity, but because they take from others. I do not believe this culture will sustain for much longer. This is the tune I play to, it’s the world dying from cars and wars and pesticides that sets the tone. Tempos vary.

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