I’m feeling loopy tonight, so I thought it only perfect that I make a GIF.

A driving GIF sums up how I feel waiting for justice to be served to our criminal overlords. Just when I think we’re cruising along, we get yanked back to where we started and are no closer than we were.

Ugh, people. What am to supposed to do with them? I can’t just ignore them until they disappear, because if I could, everyone would be transparent.

When it’s raining, I like to drive like a Monet painting, as I turn off my wipers and let the lights blur the shapes. Makes traveling more romantic.

So Craigslist now allows sellers to accept #Bitcoin as payment. Looks like I’ll have to repost my Dancing/Piano Lessons Combo. Learn both at once for the price of one!

I make love like I make art. At least, that’s my impression while I’m making it.

I used to like to go fishing, until I realized I was the fish. Most people never come to understand that they are being targeted and lured with the shiny bait that’s most appealing to their particular appetite.

A smile is a half-circle, and that’s why right now I’m selling mine for 50% the price of hula hoop. Or you can pay full price, and then it’s buy one get one FREE.

Once blockchain is ubiquitous, all your assets will be transparent and tracked, just like monitoring heart rate today or counting the number of steps taken in a day or Google searches or any other metric that can be gauged. You will have no secrets, and no secret places to hide.

Right now I’m listening to the rain. I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s kind of hard not to when the gossip is this splashy. The best rumors are never dry.

With all the innovation happening with shoes, I’m surprised nobody’s invented shoes that walk so that you don’t have to. It’s productive meets lazy, and that’s The American Way.

I sold Jeff Sessions an Invisible Cloak, which is why nobody’s seen him do anything about Hillary Clinton. Of course, just because he’s wearing an Invisible Cloak doesn’t mean he isn’t doing anything, which he is. He is isn’t, and by that I mean he isn’t doing anything, only he’s doing it invisibly.

Without the government, who would build roads? And who would make war and blow up roads to then build more roads to then blow up more roads? So you see, we do need taxes and government, because taxes are the price of admission to live in a civilized society.

The most overlooked factor when considering whether to marry someone is the mother-in-law. If the mother-in-law is a fool, then you’d be wise to walk away.

My brain didn’t know what I think about her, so my heart had to make it aware. Impossibly, I thought I saw her, and without thinking my heart rate increased. That little flutter told me all I needed to know about my true feelings.

Driving along the beach tonight, the streets looked so cold and lonely. Fortunately I was there to enhance the mood, as I played my saxophone while I cruised.

Last night I twisted my ankle. I was asleep at the time. Tell all your viewers that if they saw my Craigslist ad for Dancing Lessons, it is with regret that I must cancel them, but my workshop: “How To Safely Snort Powdered Pink Flamingos” still has every seat available.

I work in a Saxophone Repair Shop all by myself, and beyond the isolatation, the icing is that being surrounded by saxophones only enhances the loneliness. I wish I could bottle the feeling and sell it to celebrities, who’d pay top dollar for #TheSunglassesAndMaskFactor.

This week Uber and the US Army were scoping me out on LinkedIn, probably because they want to give me a lift to The NeverEnding War, because they suspect I am a Super Soldier and they want me to singlehandedly End The War. Well, I suppose I could do that, if the money were right.

Love is everywhere, but especially in Jacksonville, because that’s where I am.

I just sent my application, along with a compelling cover letter, to a high-fashion men’s dress shoe designer in Missouri, and if I get an interview, I’ll bet the first thing he notices are my shoes. I’ll bet it can break the whole interview if they aren’t crisp and elegant.

I’ve got good news and bad news for her. The bad news is she isn’t living up to her potential. The good news is she has potential, which is better than being maxed out with talent and have have no room to rise.

I need some hormone therapy, because some women have beards, and I can barely grow a pencil-thin mustache and I have no chest hair. Just a sad world I find myself in where women look more like lumberjacks than me.

Have you ever wanted to be so good at dancing, and so subtle, that observers can’t distinguish or discern between your exotic moves and a man sitting down? Well, I can teach you how! Lessons now FOR SALE in #Bitcoin.

My dancing lessons are now available in #GradientFormat. All the best things in life occur on gradient scales, like love and meatloaf. On a #OneToMeatloafScale, how romantic are you? Find out for just one Satoshi of #Bitcoin!

If everyone knows 9/11 was a #FalseFlag, why does everyone say we should support our troops in what is obviously a fraudulent and neverending war?

Romance isn’t something you can buy. I mean it was, but I sold out. Come back tomorrow night, and I should be freshly stocked.

Don’t go looking for love; let love find you. But don’t go wearing camouflage and try to hide and then complain about how lonely you are.