Wear my #HealingHat — now with Official Feathers and refillable water tank, so you can be mistaken for a walking duck swimming in a pond.

Invite ISIS to your potluck — and tell them to bring a headless guest. I’ll bring a goat, for either food or sexual pleasure or both.

If you are getting married, you need a belly dancer at your wedding, and I’ve got a belly and can dance — if you supply me with beer.

Today, the University of Memes provides more education than any college liberal arts degree & also prepares you to fight in #TheGreatMemeWar

I’m very sad that you’ll forget all about me. Oh, I’m quite memorable, but the chemtrails they spray will lead to amnesia if not expunged.

Marco Rubio for Chief of Thought Police! You’re free to think anything you want, but be prepared to be brutalized for non-compliant ideas.

Soros is funding all this fun, if you consider riots edging towards all out civil war to be fun. The only ones laughing are the globalists.

We all were asleep at one time, and we are all in various stages of waking up. However, some people are waking up to false realities.

I think about him all the time, as I remember his smile and my mind replays his laugh. It isn’t like it was, but at least it isn’t isn’t.

What we had may have been hidden, but it was never lost. I would never misplace something so precious. It is now slowly being recovered.

Pulling down statues is a summertime hobby for Nazis. I suspect the book burnings won’t begin until the fall, when the weather gets cooler.

A group of Soros’ employees met to fight each other and tear down public property, so #FakeNews decided to interview everyone not at the event.

Is it possible to eat at a fancy restaurant these days without feeling guilty, knowing that millions of Americans go hungry? Not for me.

Just because I can’t eat at a fancy restaurant, doesn’t mean I’ll eat at a cheap one like McDonald’s, because I don’t support Frankenfood.

You know my heart flutters like a butterfly in the wind, and I loved Whole Foods, until she betrayed me and got in bed with the CIA (Amazon)

We all know that death awaits us all, but have you stopped to consider what awaits you after death? Pack your bag of actions for eternity.

There’s no romance in these riots. It’s like trying to buy love from a prostitute.

In today’s political climate, if you are white you are guilty of bigotry — just for being white. If this doesn’t sound bigoted, you may be a Democrat — or a moron, though the two are synonymous.

As a response to Soros-sponsored violence, public school teachers gathered to sing Lean On Me. Are they cowards or fools? Time to homeschool

We should build a monument to this moment of tearing down all the monuments. Then, after it’s built, we’ll also tear it down. #DoubleTheJobs

Rosie O’Donnell is an example of how anger and hatred are negative frequencies that vibrate decay at the cellular level and increase aging.

We have moved from an Everybody Deserves A Trophy Society to a No Statue Left Standing Culture. Soon people will demand their own monuments.

I’m old enough to remember having to train and compete and beat out everyone to get a trophy. I also remember statues standing for something, even if they were sitting on horses. A statue is like the ultimate trophy, and it serves to motivate and recognize achievement.

Buy one giant inflatable floating duck, get FREE swimming lessons. (Absurdity sold separately.)

Back in the day being a rebel meant bucking morality. Now there is nothing more rebellious than being moral and rejecting normal.

Instead of tearing down all the racist street signs in America, why don’t we tear down the roads? And then build new ones. With no potholes.

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