How Divorce Can Affect Children

“If parents are unhappy, their children are unhappy as well,” that myth had formerly been publicized in which led people to conclude that a divorce could possibly benefit parent(s) and their children. Though that myth had been spreaded around many years ago, in the modern day, an abundance of researches have come to the conclusion that each year, over a million American children suffer from the divorce of their parents.

For most children, a divorce between parents demolishes their essential safety as well as the concerns of their parents’ ability to care for them and to genuinely consider their accomplishments in life. For all practical purposes, almost all children endure the perception of lost relationships and security; whereas for most, the emotional matter of contention sometimes has a more visual reaction. For over thirty years, researchers have concluded that the number of subjective effects occurring from divorces are increasing.

When couples marry, they vow to stay by one another, “’till death do us part,” they say, but that vow seems to have grown to have little to no significance in the modern day, for the reason that divorce has become a commonplace in the society and millions of children are affected by the separation of their family.

Statistics compare children of divorced parents to children with married parents. It displays that most children with divorced parents suffer academically, their grades tend to drop, and they are more likely to consume drugs and alcohol.

A great deal of children suffer emotionally deriving out of their parents’ divorce, and most parents don’t comprehend that a situation like that could affect their children as much as it affects themselves. As we can see, evidently, not all children of disconnected parents are going to fail in school or become drug abusers and alcoholics; for that matter, some do great in school and become wonderful go-getters in life. However, no matter what those children do in life, what they do achieve or what they don’t, they all perceive extreme, long lasting anguish. For instance, children of divorced parents experience pain more frequently in distinction to symptoms of psychological distress; and the scars that a child receives from trauma can last into their adulthood.

“Voice of the Child of Divorce.” ______________________Children of divorced parents are screaming for help, they’re crying for someone to listen and be there for them. Adults should be ready and prepared to what these children are trying to tell them, respect their point of view. For once, look at divorce through the lens of a child.

A Psychologist named Judith Wallerstein had taken action in a study of children with divorced parents from the 1970’s to the 1990’s. In doing so, she had begun by seeking a group of individuals with divorced parents. Furthermore, she held consultations with the individuals starting from as early as 18 months after the divorce to every five years from that point on up until 25 years after the separation. Wallerstein was so set on the fact that after 25 years after a divorce, the individuals would be doing better, although, she was very frustrated with her results for the reason that even after the 25 years, these people were still experiencing feelings of failure, and had developed a fear of loss and change.

The graph to the right was a study of 99 college students with parents that have divorced at least three years before.

Wallerstein had said that most of the kids that she studied had a difficult time recollecting what their life was like before their family was separated, though they had no problem remembering how they felt abandoned by both of their parents thereafter the divorce.

After a divorce, parents have the desire to have their own wishes met, they wish to find that comfort and joy in someone new. However, not merely do the parents get a visit from old problems, new problems are constucted into the children’s lives. After all, the children then again feel abandoned in the process of the time that their parents build new relationships with someone new. Judith Wallerstein says that Parents’ and their children’s needs are both “out of sync” for many years after a divorce. However, that doesn’t mean that the parents don’t love their children or care about them any less but, it’s for the reason that they are just entirely committed to their own lives in almost every perspective.

The Impact of Divorce on Children: Tamara D. Afifi TEDTALKS (20 minutes.) ______________________A great load of people avoid discussing a divorce in a family or within friends if they are able to, because like any ther health issue and death, us human beings are afraid to take on the pain head on. While talking about divorce, most individuals don’t know what to do or even say.

When experiencing something like a divorce, a complete recovery for children is practically impossible. Just after parents split and go their separate ways, it’s likely that later down their new road, they give little thought towards their previous separation. Nevertheless, children will think about it almost every day; at any and all events, such as holidays, birthdays, sports, graduations, marriages, births of children, etc., children will always be reminded of their catastrophe, even on the happiest of days and that’s just how life is.


Citations:

Paul R. Amato, “The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children,” Journal of Marriage and Family 62 (2000): 1269.
Interview with Steven Earll, August 2011.
Nan Marie Astone and Sara S. McLanahan, “Family Structure, Parental Practices and High School Completion,” American Sociological Review 56 (1991): 309–320.
Nan Marie Astone and Sara S. McLanahan, “Family Structure, Parental Practices and High School Completion,” American Sociological Review 56 (1991): 309–320.
Robert L. Flewelling and Karl E. Bauman, “Family Structure as a Predictor of Initial Substance Use and Sexual Intercourse in Early Adolescence,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 52 (1990): 171–181.
P. Lindsay Chase-Lansdale, Andrew J. Cherlin and Kathleen E. Kiernan, “The Long-Term Effects of Parental Divorce on the Mental Health of Young Adults: A Developmental Perspective,” Child Development 66 (1995): 1614–1634.
Wallerstein, et al., 2000, pp. xxvii-xxix; Catherine E. Ross and John Mirowsky. “Parental Divorce, Life-Course Disruption, and Adult Depression.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 61 (1999): 1034–1035
Andrew J. Cherlin, P. Lindsey Chase-Lansdale and C. McRae, “Effects of Parental Divorce on Mental Health Through the Life Course,” American Sociological Review, 63 (1998): 239–249; Catherine E. Ross and John Mirowsky, “Parental Divorce, Life-Course Disruption, and Adult Depression,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 61 (1999): 10341035.
Laumann-Billings, L. &. Emery, R.E. (2000). Distress among young adults from divorced families. Journal of Family Psychology, 14, 671–687.