I Begged Him To Stay But He Left: Should I Beg My Boyfriend To Stay With Me
I begged him to stay but he left — Should I beg my boyfriend to stay with me.
If your boyfriend left you but you want him back, it probably took you a while to come to this decision. When someone walks out on you, it can make you lose your sense of trust in them. After all, what if you get him back and then he gets unhappy and leaves again? But if you know you really want your boyfriend back, you’re willing to work through almost any situation. So where should you start if you want to get him back?
The first thing you need to do if your boyfriend left you but you want him back is to thoroughly assess the situation. If he just walked out on you an hour ago, then now is the time to get all of your emotions out. Cry, go to the gym, write in your journal… do whatever it is you need to do to calm yourself down so that you can think clearly. If you’ve already done that and now you’re ready to attack the situation of getting him back head on, then now is the time to make a plan.
Have you already had “the talk” with him about the breakup? If your boyfriend told you why he left, then it is time to think through his reasons. Figure out exactly what you agree with and what you don’t agree with. Make a list of things and write out your side of the situation. Also write out his reasons for leaving you. You are now building your case for yourself to see how difficult it will be for you to get your boyfriend back.
At this stage, it is important not to do anything too emotional or crazy. You don’t want to call him every night, or drive by his house or work at all hours to see what he’s doing or who he’s with. Resist the urge to text him or stalk him on Facebook or MySpace. Instead, give him the space he said he needed by breaking up with you. Don’t beg him or plead with him to take you back. Even if you haven’t had a talk to with him about the breakup, try to be as calm about the situation as possible. Anytime you feel like you are about to do something you’ll regret, do whatever it takes to distract yourself.
Try to go for at least a couple of days without contacting your boyfriend. Use the time to gather your thoughts and decide what you are willing to do to get him back.
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You have just broken up and you are hurting really badly from the rejection. All you can think about is your ex boyfriend moving on with his new life and being with another girl. So you are wondering if you should play a few tricks on him. You remember how much he hated it when he thought you were flirting with his best friend. So why not remind him of it, and make your ex boyfriend jealous?
When you are struggling to cope with a breakup that is not of your choice, it’s tempting to think about turning the tables on your ex by making him regret breaking up. You feel you will have a chance to get back at him for hurting you, and it might spur him into wanting you back too. Surely it must be worth a try?
Well, first of all, you cannot be certain what his initial reaction will be. Will you be able to convince him that you really are seeing another man? Unless there is some basis in reality to make him believe it, he may just think you are pretending or making it up, which he will see as an act of desperation. Obviously this will not help you at all.
But what if you can convince him that it’s true? What have you got to lose?
Should You Make Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous?
Quite a bit, as it happens. Although it can be very effective to make your boyfriend aware of the possibility of you finding someone else, you may get quite a different reaction if he believes you have actually done so.
If your boyfriend still has any feelings for you, he will hate the idea of you being with another man — to him it will feel as if you have cheated on him. The fact that he has forfeited the right to think that will not change how he actually feels.
Many men find it all but impossible to forgive a woman who has cheated on them. It awakens all sorts of primitive and primeval emotions about invasion and possession. When a man falls in love, he makes an emotional investment in you, which is confirmed by your fidelity and loyalty to him. Your cheating on him tells him — and the world — that he and his love was not enough for you.
So you need to be careful when you parade the threat of finding another man before you boyfriend. Making him aware that other men are attracted to you can increase your value in his eyes, and make you a more desirable prize that he must win back. But making him believe that you have actually found someone can mean the end of your relationship.
How Your Boyfriend Sees It
Your ex may take it as proof that you have moved on, and that he should do so too and stop mulling over any regrets he might have been having. It might also confirm in his mind that he was right to break up with you, as you obviously didn’t care for him that much. This may be unreasonable to you — after all, he did the dumping — but where emotions are involved, people are not reasonable.
If you want to get him back, you must be able still to arouse feelings in him. Using those feelings against him by being with another man will not help your cause. Arousing his feelings of possessiveness towards you by showing him that you have other admirers is one thing, but letting him know you have chosen one of them is another. Give him a chance to realise that you have options so that he can do something about it — if that is what he wants.
If you genuinely want him back, then you will save yourself a lot of problems and complications later if you keep other men at a distance. Remember that while women mind more about emotional infidelity, men mind passionately about physical betrayal. However unfair you may think he is being, that is the way things are. So use the jealousy ploy with caution.
You need a successful strategy to move on from here. To get your boyfriend back, you first need to convince HIM that HE has lost YOU.
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