I Dumped Him and He Hasn’t Called: When He Doesn’t Call After A Breakup

Jasmine Norah
8 min readDec 30, 2019

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Photo by John Tuesday on Unsplash

I dumped him and he hasn’t called — When he doesn’t call after a breakup.

You know the old saying “We all make mistakes”. Well, many (if not all) of us have broken up with a boyfriend at some point only to realize that it was a big mistake and we want him back. Don’t worry, there is still hope to get him back. In this article we will go over ways on how to win a man back after you have dumped him. Let’s get started:

1. Why? First, take the time to think about why you broke up with him. Was it a flaw you saw in him? Or maybe a misunderstanding about something? Maybe it just happened in the heat of an argument? Or maybe even a test to see if he’d fight to get you back (which is not a good idea, it’s not fair to him and it could also backfire on you)? Whatever the reason was that made you choose to dump him, you really need to think about it and think about what you may need to work on to fix it but also ask yourself, whoever was to blame, can all be forgiven? Or was it something that was so horrible that one or both of you won’t be able to get past? You want to make sure that it is something that you can work out and move on from.

2. Letter. The next step, and an important one on how to win a man back after you have dumped him, is to apologize. A good idea is to write a letter, or even an email, of apology. Take responsibility for your part in the break up. Be honest. Tell him it will never happen again. Let him know that you regret breaking up with him and you feel you made a mistake by doing so. Tell him you’re sorry if you’ve hurt him and that you understand if he’s angry with you. Tell him that you hope he can forgive you but that you will completely understand if he can’t or won’t. Note: Remember, his ego has probably taken a bruising by being dumped and he’s probably feeling humiliated, so he may not be in a very forgiving state with you right now.

3. Space. This next step is one that you’ll probably dread but here goes. After you have sent him the letter/email, give him space. Don’t contact him at all, unless absolutely necessary. I know, I know, you’re not very happy with me for that piece of advice but if you bug him or plead with him right now, you’ll just be pushing him further away. You’ve put everything you needed/wanted to say in the letter so now the ball is in his court. Give him the time to do some thinking. Give him time to start missing you! He can’t miss you if you are suffocating him with phone calls, emails, texts, etc.

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4. Attitude. This next step is more of a side note that I wanted to mention. How to win a man back can rely a lot on how you treat him, so it is best to be friendly towards him if you run into him or if he contacts you for any reason. Try to remain calm and cool around him, even if he brings up anything to do with the break up. There’s no need for you to apologize over and over again (you’ve already done that at least once…in your letter/email to him) but being nice can definitely go a long way. What behavior would not be recommended? Acting needy, desperate or begging him to come back to you. This will send him running in the opposite direction.

5. Va Va Voom! It can’t hurt to look good, right? It may be a good idea to make an effort to look good if you are going out somewhere, especially if you think you may run into him. But don’t try to run into him on purpose, he may think you are “stalking” him, which is obviously not a good thing.

6. The Contact. So, you have given him some time and now you wonder, what’s next? Well, if he hasn’t contacted you yet either, and it’s been at least a couple of weeks or so, drop him a line. Tell him you’re just calling to see how he’s doing and see if he wants to head out for a coffee (or anywhere really) with you. Let him know that it’s just as friends. While out with him, if opportunity arises, bring up some positive memories that you two have had. Avoid any negative issues though. If you can start off by just being friends with him and take it slowly, who knows where it will lead…

Be positive, and you may need just a wee bit of patience too when it comes to how to win a man back after you have dumped him. Even if things seem a bit hopeless shortly after the break up, well, you just never know until you try, right? The bad news though? If you’ve tried all the previous steps and waited awhile and he really just seems to have moved on, then you may just need to let him go and move on yourself. The good news? Many couples have gotten back together with just a little effort so don’t give up without a fight if you think your relationship is worth saving.

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“How can I get my ex back?” This is a question asked by hundreds and thousands of people every day.

Even though it may sound like a difficult undertaking it is actually quite easy. Some people just cannot see the answers in their current state of mind.

Follow these easy steps and your ex will come back to you.

Step1: Take some time for yourself.

Do things that make you look and feel better.

You can work out, get a new hair style or just take better care of yourself both inside and out.

Get back to being who you were before you and your ex began your relationship.

This will help you to feel better about yourself and get your ex off your mind for a little while.

Step 2: Do not be afraid to get back on the social scene.

It is not just okay to date new people but it is exactly what you need to boost your self-confidence.

Confidence is an attractive quality to possess.

It does wonders for you and even more for your ex; for them to see you looking good and holding your head high as you move on with your life is a kick in the butt!

This will make then want you more because they see the things in you that attracted them in the beginning.

I found this to be very effective when I was searching for an answer on “how can I get my ex boyfriend back”.

Step 3: Carry on with your new life for at least a month.

This is the cooling off period between the breakup and the renewed contact.

Before you contact them though, do an emotion check.

If you are still feeling sad and desperate then you need to give it some more time.

You do not want to destroy what you have just worked hard to build up.

As long as you feel strong you can place that first post breakup phone call.

Once you get them on the line, do not ask for a date. Instead, see if they want to “get together” for some coffee, mini golf, dancing — whatever it is you enjoyed doing together.

Step 4: When you meet up, do not get all sentimental.

If you do, your ex will smell desperation and then GAME OVER!

Take things slow. Do not push to make more plans.

Just enjoy that moment.

That is really the key; enjoying each moment as it comes.

Thinking too heavily about the future will bring back that desperate feeling again and you will be working towards the wrong things.

Get to know each other again. When the time to talk about more serious topics arrives, you will know it.

Step 5: After a month or two of these outings with your ex, the time will come when you know that it is okay to broach the subject of officially getting back together.

This is the time for honesty. Talk about the things that lead to the breakup and about what can be done to solve the problems.

Going back into a relationship that once failed without fixing the original problems will only lead to another breakup.

Following these rules can be difficult when all you really want is to throw your arms around you ex, but you wanted to know “how can I get my ex boyfriend back” and I can promise you that these steps are the best chance that you have.

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