Twenty Four Things
My name is Jasmine, I’m twenty-four years old and I am depressed. Depression is simultaneously a symptom and a cause of the health problems that I am currently living with, and a symptom of a depressed state is a lack of ambition.
Recently, I had an assessment with a counsellor. The meeting had been set up by my GP, who wants to address my inability to communicate how I feel. It went surprisingly well, and I found that the only time I struggled to find answers was when the counsellor asked me what I wanted from my future, what I wished to achieve. I was stumped. Living for so long in a closed-off bubble of depression and social anxiety had left me completely void of any ambition, any dreams or goals. I felt, and still feel, that I was living each day of my life just to get to the next one, with no real wish for the future.
So, as a result of this realisation, I decided that I needed to take action, one step at a time. I didn’t want to rush in to trying to find new, scary goals, so I thought that I would start small. I came up with the idea to make a list of 50 things to achieve by this time next year. I got to around the 20, 21 mark when my ideas became pretty convoluted and specific, so I decided to cut it back from 50 to 24, my age at time of writing.
365 days from now will be the 13th of October, 2015. I will be twenty-five years of age, and it will probably be a similarly drizzly, autumnal day by the seaside, but with any luck, I would have completed by 24 simple goals, and can challenge myself to do some more.
I’m tired of living my life from day to day, sleeping 12 hours and spending the rest of the time feeling sorry for myself, it’s time to take action.
By this day, next year, I am going to do, or have, the following things:
- Go back to work (and enjoy it).
- Have an enviable rat cage set-up.
- Write and record a song.
- Eat better.
- Go to more local music events.
- Learn how to cook my favourite meals from scratch.
- Be a better vegetarian.
- Read 10 books.
- Write 10 stories.
- Vote in the general election.
- Drink more (tap) water.
- See more art.
- Grow out my fringe.
- Have better skin.
- Watch 10 films (that I’ve been meaning to watch).
- Get into a new band.
- Do something for charity.
- Play more (good quality) video games.
- Drink less than 2 alcoholic units per week.
- Go on holiday.
- Do a grand, romantic gesture.
- Do something good for my family.
- Start a work-out routine.
- Take more (good) photographs.
I reserve the right to do these things in any order that I choose, and to split them up over the next 12 months.
Every week, I will write a blog post about my mission to complete the list, and the ups and downs that come with doing any ‘t0-do’ list.
I hope you enjoy reading it,
Jasmine. (Day 1)