At Wit’s End

My story isn’t new. In fact, more and more every day there are other people out there suffering way more than I am. But in a effort to feel a little bit better about my life and the place I am in, it ‘s better to write it here.

I just found out that I had a defaulted loan that is going to bar me from getting any grants for grad school. Only $14,238 dollars due immediately, not including my other loan that I am slowly making payments on that total $20,000. Add an additional $10,500 in credit card debt, that leaves me with a debt of $44,738. And this isn’t including the debt that my wife has from school. I make $15 dollars an hour and my wife works as a nanny making varying degrees of money an hour, dependent on how many kids she is watching. Oh, and also she is 6 months pregnant with our first child.

So not only are we starting a family, not using either of our degrees to make substantial money, I am stuck not being able to go back to school to get a degree that will get us out of the hole and we will forever be stuck in a debt hole. I am done. I am tired and I just don’t want to do it anymore.

It’s a sob story that no one cares about because I stupidly let a student loan default because I couldn’t pay it. But I felt like I needed it to be shared somewhere… and yet I still don’t feel better.

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