I need to get myself together.
It’s time for the break.
To put it frankly, I’ve been in a slump for the last few days.
I’d wake up, and stare at the ceiling, and not want to get out of bed.
I’d eventually roll out, and just sit at my screen in a daze.
I’d come to my lab at school (it’s during the break), and just sit there, even though my task list is screaming at me to deal with it, and emails sit there unread.
I have people waiting on me to talk to them, and a couple of projects running along.
I am attempting to consolidate my years of college right now into something cohesive, so that I can write a cover letter to Blizzard and have a portfolio.
But I can’t pull it together. I sit there, burned out, not sure what is happening to me.
And it hits me — I’m not practicing what I preach.
It’s smack in the middle of winter break.
What. Am. I. doing?
I just spent one quarter doing an insane amount of work.
I had a part-time job, held executive positions in two clubs (Video Game Development club VP, and webmaster for another), took 3 punishing classes, dealt with a relationship drama involving two of my close friends, and produced 2 game projects.
And I’m still blindly reaching ahead thinking that I can continue the same volume of work.
Nobody around me is working.
In fact, nobody is here.
Everyone has gone home for the holidays.
I’m alone in my dorm, dragging myself out of bed routinely at 8AM, still trying to live the life I was living before break began.
There isn’t anything wrong with the tasks I’m doing.
But there is something wrong with how I’ve been approaching them.
I’m still pushing forwards with no goal in sight; with clearing my tasklist being my only small (yet unreachable) goal.
I need to take a leaf out of my own book actually, and take a break.
Yesterday, I spent some time developing a script that pulled a bunch of anime urls and let me download them; I then proceeded to spend the rest of the day watching shows, peeling oranges, and drinking tea.
I need more of those days.
I realize that I needed that time to myself, the time where I sit down, and just relax.
Originally, I was just working and working and working for the sole purpose of meeting deadlines. Nothing was exciting me, because I had nothing exciting lined up. Even my work, which is supposed to be fun (I mean, game development?!) lost it’s novelty in how I approached my work.
I have one week of break left.
I want to spend it wisely, before I get blown away and burned out again even before it begins.
I need to learn to take breaks, and enjoy myself a little more.
Sure, I have many important things to do, but it’s far better to do it in 1 productive hour than spend an entire day and not get much done.