Our Next President Should Be A Super Dope Homeboy from the Oaktown

It’s no secret that the current election season has been anything but presidential. We have plenty of characters running for election who simultaneously lack any character. A country divided by politicians and media over-saturation increasingly feels as if the distance “across the aisle” grows wider each day.

What we need is a candidate we can all rally behind. We need someone that can speak to the masses in a common language — even if that language is music. What we need is someone to run a campaign that will bring us closer as a nation. We need MC Hammer.

Don’t laugh.

MC Hammer would be the perfect choice to turn this mutha out and energize the country. And the best part is that we already know about his platform. He presented the key points of his policy back in 1990 on the Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ’Em album.

Yo, sound the bell, school’s in sucka.

Have You Seen Her
MC Hammer knew what it was like to search for love. He got up every morning, put on his clothes and started looking. Why such determination on the Hammer’s part? Just listen…

“…and I know somewhere,
If I keep searching, that love I’ll find,
the picture grows clearer and clearer
from the back to the front of my mind…”

This country needs to replace our current diet of 24-hour news with a healthy portion of love and respect. Stop talking down to one another and start building each other up. Maybe we are lacking in love because we have forgotten how to look. MC Hammer would get us on the right track. He led by example.

Help The Children
Another aspect of Hammer’s campaign is grounded firmly in family. Just as he sang many years ago, we need to help the children — all children — to see better and brighter days ahead. Our country needs a renewed focus on family and education if we are to ever realize our full potential.

Unfortunately, one of the few standards we see in education these days is testing. But what are we learning?

And what reinforcement is there at home? As a nation, do we remember what it’s like to sit around the dinner table together?

One definition of family reads as follows: Family, We may not have it all together, but together we have it all. I think the Hammer would agree.

U Can’t Touch This
No, this was not MC Hammer’s manifesto on foreign policy—as tempting as it might be. Whether it’s a funky beat, human endeavor or technological breakthrough, the collective mindset of our country needs to think and act like we are leaders in the global community.

We need to take pride in our work and set the bar high with our behavior. If we are truly a global superpower, let’s stop acting like a bunch of spoiled brats. Don’t agree? Listen to Hammer directly address work ethic:

“…to learn
What’s it gonna take in the 90s to burn
The charts? Legit
Either work hard or you might as well quit…”

Work hard and strive to be your best. Those two ideals trump everything else when it comes to making America great again.

Pray
Sadly, we are becoming a society that believes we have all the answers. And if my answer doesn’t agree with your answer, your answer is stupid. And so are you.

Regardless of your religion, there is a fundamental truth found in prayer. It is an acknowledgement that a greater perspective lies beyond our immediate, individual view of things. And if we can accept that a higher power knows more than we do, perhaps we could accept that the person sitting “across the aisle” may have a different, but valid, perspective on things too.

As I channel surf the nightly news or scan my social media feeds, I am reminded that MC Hammer was right. We need to pray just to make it today.


So there you have it. You want a candidate with transparency? The lyrics don’t lie. You want a president with core values, fresh new kicks and pants? Check, check and check.

In 2016, we don’t need more crooked career politicians. We don’t need celebrities making huuuuuuuuge promises and headlines. We don’t need more of the status quo.

In this election, there’s only one thing that will make America great again.

It’s Hammer time.

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