About Those Who Seem to Have It All Figured Out
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how frequently people comment that I “seem to have it all figured out”. I believe people think I do because as a sales and life coach, I deal in helping people create successful lives. And as an individual, I enjoy relentless study of all things in the “self-help” or “self-improvement” category and have since I was six years old when I stole my dad’s Zig Ziglar book! So, with me, success is always the topic. But does that mean I have it all figured out?
The short answer is HELL NO! Which is why I felt it was important to open up and talk about something more personal than nearly any “business coach” ever would; for the sake of those who would find the longer answer helpful.
The shirtless pic above depicts me on a trail walk slowly making my way back to 7% body fat. When it comes to that little goal, I’m really impatient and self-critical and trapped-by-ego and usually hungry and then I get focused, centered and calm, then impatient and hungry again! ♻️ And that’s just in one hour!
Truly successful people know there is no such thing as having it all figured out.
Example: Last summer I achieved what I wasn’t sure I could; 7% body fat. Then, toward the end of 2017 I began tackling some personal topics where I need to grow emotionally. That automatically made me venerable to my weaknesses. Then, shortly after the new year I decided it would be a great time to try intermittent fasting! The combination triggered (or revealed?) a mild eating disorder which, as scary as that was, has opened up a huge new area of growth for me! Cool huh? There’s nothing a life coach enjoys more than identifying an area where personal growth is needed. That’s how it is for this life coach anyway!
I’ve learned most of us are not only unaware of how powerful food is but are totally unconscious of how frequently we use food to cope with life. I found myself drinking too much and over eating to the point where I would go home and throw it up. I was beating myself up for the over-consumption then beating myself up again for throwing it all up! Seriously, that’s a lot of beating — and wasted money on some great food! It didn’t take long at all for me to realize I needed help. So my coach and this author helped me get my arms around what I was doing; I was using food and alcohol to avoid working through intense issues that, because they are now being addressed, are literally transforming who I am in the world. My dad was all of 200 pounds overweight when he died a few years ago. He was that heavy because he refused to deal with his own issues which I now believe were about his own father and his time in the Vietnam war. EVERYONE has “issues” and I was not interested in letting mine overtake me like my father’s did him.
So to those of you whom I promised months ago I’d write about intermittent fasting, I want you to know I did. But I couldn’t publish what I wrote because more learning was clearly required. I am close however to being able to share what I feel would be a helpful lesson on that specific style of fasting.
You see, successful people may seem to have it all figured out because they are typically in a growth based mindset. They challenge themselves constantly, learn new things, aren’t afraid of failing, don’t even believe in failure as such, understand how to use adversity and couldn’t care less what others think of them.
Now honestly, how many people do you know living their lives that way? I believe most people do want to live a big life that is the fullest expression of themselves in the world but are trapped by fear. My mentors taught me to seek out successful people and surround myself with them and I found that was an effective way to keep from being paralyzed by my own fears. So, when you’re ready for meaningful personal growth, good life coaching helps you get unstuck and moving on your path to bigger things. And whether I’m your coach or not, stay away from those who act like they have it all together because they are the very ones who are furthest from it.
These days I find I’m far less interested in talking about my successes in life than I am in showing you my flaws. Brutal honesty, transparency and a real connection; those seem like pretty important traits for a coach to me!