What Do You Do If Your Life Sucks?
You wake in a cold sweat. You had another bad dream and you are left with one thought:
“What happened to my life?”
How often do you wonder why your life hasn’t turned out like you planned? If you are like many of us, you feel stuck or blocked and wonder why all the goals and dreams you had for yourself when you were young never happened.
Why aren’t you moving forward?
Are you still stuck in a dead-end job working 40, 50, even 60 hours a week for peanuts? Are you lonely and wonder why you haven’t met that special someone? Are you unhealthy and overweight and wish you could change your habits? Are you stuck in a place you don’t want to live, surrounded by a mass of people, noise, and pollution, dreaming of sitting on the beach somewhere tropical? Are you doing the same things day in and day out, hoping your life will change soon?
Maybe you are not moving forward with your life because:
You are afraid to leave the job you hate because you think you couldn’t find anything better. You have bills, student loans, credit card debt, and dammit, you have to eat! You haven’t met anyone special because you are too busy, or you don’t feel like you are wealthy enough, good-looking enough, or have anything to offer. You haven’t started to eat healthy because you need to buy that book, or join the gym next week, or shop for better food. You don’t live or even visit your dream destination because you are frozen in fear of the unknown. You are stuck and blocked because you are afraid to take action because you are constantly thinking of the worst-case scenario.
I have good news and bad news.
The good news: you are not alone! Many people feel the same way and it’s even somewhat normal to find yourself in your current situation.
The bad news: it might be normal, but it’s not okay! Being stuck and staying that way is no one's fault but your own.
What Do You Mean?
You are committed to being successful, right? You say you want a better career or your own business? You want love and companionship, don’t you? You don’t want to be fat or unhealthy? After all, you did resolve to eat better on New Year’s Eve. You keep telling yourself that you will travel next year when things are better.
The problem is: you keep accepting things the way they are, no matter how bad. You do this because change is difficult and it’s sometimes easier to accept the status quo. You accept it because you are afraid to take action!
But, I Can’t Lose My Job; I Have Bills to Pay!
Why are you unhappy with your current job? I’ll tell you why: because working for someone else sucks! You have less time every day to do the things you want because “they” are expecting more and more from you.
Maybe you went to college and chose the job you find yourself in because (1) you thought you could make a lot of money and have the freedom to enjoy it, or (2) someone told you what career path you should take (parents, advisor).
Regardless of which path it is, you took out huge student loans, finished college, and are now working to pay it off. On top of that, every time you get a little extra money you go out and finance something you can’t afford because you think owning things will make you happy.
You are buried in debt, living with a bunch of material things you have no time to enjoy. Worse, now that you have all this debt, you fear you can’t pay it off if you tried to follow your dreams.
It’s a vicious circle, but one that you can escape.
I’ll Never Meet That Special Someone!
Now that you are so busy you have no time for anything else, you find that you are lonely. You haven’t met anyone, in fact, your social life is a disaster!
In addition to being busy, you feel you are not meeting anyone because you don’t have enough money, possessions, or you aren’t good-looking enough. Maybe you’re just afraid to take that first step and introduce yourself.
Whatever the reasons, you’re alone and miserable, and don’t see your situation changing anytime soon.
This too can be changed if you are willing.
I’ll Start My Diet on Monday
Now that you are working too much to pay off all the crap you own, you haven’t seen the inside of a gym in ages. Worse, you are depressed because you are alone, so you’ve been eating too much of the wrong kinds of food and you are unhealthy and overweight.
Your false starts and lists of excuses why you can’t eat healthier are growing. You are afraid to step on the scale or look in the mirror because you don’t recognize the person you’ve become.
You can see how not taking action in one part of your life feeds into the others. Soon, not just one part of your life is unsatisfying, but all of it.
But, like I said, you can change if you are willing to do something.
I’ll Travel Next Year When Things Calm Down a Bit
Guess what? There is no next year for you because you will keep putting off your dreams. That’s how people work for 40 years and expect to have an exciting life when they retire, only to find they are broke and worse off than when they were younger.
Are You Angry Yet?
You’re correct in saying I’ve been a little tough and playing the devil’s advocate. What I wanted to show you is the when you start making excuses for inaction, your problems start compounding.
What I hope you get from this is that you can’t keep going the way you are living. You can’t stagnate and accept things the way they are anymore if you ever hope to have a successful life.
By successful, I don’t necessarily mean rich. Truthfully, money means nothing. When I say success, I mean being happy with what you are doing with your time and who you are doing it with. Success is feeling fulfilled and satisfied with your life, and even, dare I say, happy? Success is feeling wonderful every day, physically and emotionally. Success is living where you want and how you want to do it, without having to answer to anyone.
Success is FREEDOM! Freedom to be yourself and to pursue what makes you happy.
How Do I Become Successful?
Becoming successful in life involves many things, but there is one thing you must do if you ever want to achieve it. See if you can figure it out from these examples.
My Life Was Over
I was completely and utterly unhappy.
I was severely mentally ill, overweight, unhealthy, a shut-in, had no social life and was broke. My life started out difficult and only got worse as I got older. I was over 40 years old and been through hospitalizations, addiction, bankruptcy, layoffs, and divorce.
My life was horrible and I was unable or unwilling to change it at the time.
But, eventually, I did change. When I hit rock bottom, I looked up and decided that if my life will change, I would be the one who was going to do it.
So, I took action. Drastic action.
Now my days are filled with happiness and joy. I spend my days entertaining my 6-year-old daughter and doing what I love: writing. Most times you will find me sitting on the beach in my adopted home, the Philippines. I am working on building a business so I can continue my simple and comfortable life.
It wasn’t easy to get here, but it all started with a firm decision to change my life to a successful one.
She Had a Hard Life
My old friend, Alexa, is an entertainer. She spends her days in sunny California eating healthy and making the music she loves. She makes many, many people happy.
But her life wasn’t always so rosy.
Without warning, when Alexa was 13, her brain began to bleed and she needed surgery. She made it through her traumatic experience by listening to music and singing along with her iPod. Also, at age 10, she developed cystic acne, and because of that, and the fact that while her peers were partying, she was learning to dance and sing, she always felt disconnected and different.
She moved from Florida to New York to pursue her music career but was always troubled by her acne and the medications the doctors gave her to treat it. Her life felt like it was at a standstill.
What did she do?
She took drastic action.
Alexa went off the medications to treat her skin that made her sick and started a healthier lifestyle. She moved to California to further her music career and is now helping others who have dealt with the pain of brain surgery and helps people with cystic acne to treat it in a healthier way, without drugs.
Her music career is taking off and she is truly living a happy life doing what she loves. She is a beautiful human being.
A Successful Life Through Drastic Action
Are you happy doing nothing to change your life? If you have read this far I’m betting you’re not. My hope is that you see that your life can be successful and you can be happy if you start with one thing:
TAKE DRASTIC ACTION!
Stop accepting things the way they are, until you have made it to the end of your life and realize that you never really lived at all. Recognize that if you want change to happen, you must do something about it. No one can do it for you.
Imagine yourself on a beach, knowing you’re no longer a 9-to-5 slave, sipping your favorite drink with someone you love. You are happy and healthy and satisfied with your life and the simple things you possess.
It is not just a dream.
It can happen if you are willing to do something about it.