A promise to write more

The first 3 days of a Lunar New Year are called TET. And today is the first day of Lunar New Year 2017: the year of Rooster.

I’ve been busy the whole day visiting my relatives, chit-chatting with them and gambling. Well, during TET, gamble is allowed just for fun and gathering. Now having time to relax and retrospect in my room, I’d like to jot down what I want to do in the New Year.

It’s been a long time since my last post on Medium.com. Life is busy. I’m occupied with my daily routine: work, family and social life. Actually, I’m still seeking for a girlfriend :D

Sure, I can make a lot of excuses for not writing. Yet, deep down inside, I know I want to write more. Writing helps to clarify my thoughts. Writing makes me feel that I am myself. It’s a tool for me to express my thoughts and thus show people online who I am.

One of the reasons I haven’t written as frequently as I want is the fear of expressing my own opinion. Not to include the doubt from others, self-doubt is enough to hinder my passion to writing more.

If you ever published anything online with your own thinking, you should understand that feeling. The feeling of concern and worry about what others may think about you and whether what you share is correct and suitable. What if you’ve made a mistake and posted a bullshit online? These self-doubt and self-criticism make writing not in your favour. In the past, I even got stuck in perfectionism because I didn’t want people to see my flaws.

Still, over time, I learn that if I want to do something meaningful, if I want to stand up for who I am and what I believe, if I want to be a man, I have to accept these butterflies in my stomach. I have to embrace the feeling of uncertainty.

I believe that I can always improve my writing and critical thinking. What I share on the internet today may be right or wrong. It doesn’t matter at all. What’s more important is that I have a big ball to push it online to receive feedback, judgment and even criticism from others. It’s not always easy. But it’s the only way to self-growth.

Thus, I promise to write and publish more on Medium this year. I do it because I want to share my point of view. Because I want to write better. And because I want to increase my tolerance for uncertainty. At the end of the day, I want to be a better man :)