The last time I saw Brian’s dad was right before he disappeared. He’d pick me up first, then Kevin, then Jeff, and then Brian. None of our dads lived with us, and none of them drove carpool, either. Brian’s dad only did it to stay out of court for never…

I was burning the last of my vegan recipes when Vigo called. Thankfully, he didn’t ask what I was up to, and not just because the answer would have been “171.” “Do you want to have dinner with my boss and my boss and my boss?” he asked. “You have…

This is not how you’re supposed to meet your next husband. Her brain regurgitated that thought while her fingers typed, as if reminding herself that she knew better was some reassurance that she still might be the sort of person who could show up at her high school reunion without…

“I suppose I admire toddlers. They just stumble and scream and crap themselves and who cares? You just get picked up and hugged. Your whole life is like a game. Your mouth isn’t even a mouth. It’s a tiny airplane hangar filled with soft teeth. If I were rich, I’d…

Will was supposed to be at Bronson Elementary School, in Mrs. Tam’s room 9, finishing up the second hour of his first day of kindergarten. Instead, he was staring at an aquarium half the size of a basketball court and nearly filled with bunnies. “The Honeymoon. Sted Vlomanini,” Zach read…

Vodka looks like water. So every day he would bring a water bottle into work. “Just one part vodka,” he said, “the rest is water.” And I’m sure he wouldn’t have ever explained himself even that much if I hadn’t showed up early one day — early by minutes. He…

DONNA TALENT ASSURED Rich Clifford’s stepmom that the gift certificates for six full sessions that she and Rich’s dad had purchased five years ago as a college graduation present were still valid, per California law. Donna then asserted that her coaching was no substitute for medical or psychological treatment, per…

My father was sick of polite people who never told the truth about anything. He hated how people were fat and disgusting and crude but always said “please” and “thank you” and “pardon me” while doing nothing with their lives except contaminating the atmosphere with their clam chowder breath and…

Falling in love with the wrong person — even briefly — is always embarrassing. But falling in love with Leonard Lee was a humiliation that did not end no matter how many times I hung up on the boy. And I hung up on him at least 1,372 times. It…