How Do I Increase My Self Confidence?

Lack of confidence is simply a habitual program that you’ve conditioned within your mind. It’s a form of learned helplessness. You feel fearful, unfamiliar, or inadequate, and so you overthink and become self-aware. This causes your brain to slow down considerably, due to the fact that you are trying to control and be deliberate with your actions. You may feel a rush of adrenaline causing you to become even more anxious. Your hands sweat, your voice breaks, and this can become a vicious cycle leading to the point where you identify yourself as a person lacking confidence.

Confidence is like a table top. You’ll have to build legs, (or references) to support your beliefs. It’s a journey. Be patient and you’ll get there.

You are consciously trying to “have confidence” which you believe will result in getting what you desire. When really, what happens is that you get in your own way, and this limits the flow of spontaneous energy which naturally draws people toward you. It’s hard to split your mental energy into being self conscious while also serving others. There’s already greatness in you. I’m sure you’ve had moments when you’re in the flow, and it’s effortless. Next time you feel that, remember that feeling and mark it in your mind. That’s confidence. It’s when you lose yourself. It’s effortless. It will take some practice, put yourself out there and be persistent.

Below a few tips.

1. Control your thoughts. Be careful of limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. Don’t believe everything you think. Beliefs drive your emotions and emotions drive behavior, and behavior drives results. Start at the root cause.

2. Be aware of your physiology. How you use your body will directly impact your mind and emotions. You need to change your limited programming on a nervous system level, not just a cognitive level. It’s one thing that you understand an idea. It’s another thing to know it at the core of your being. Walking around with slouched shoulders and a low head will not put you in a state of confidence.

3. Be aware of the things you speak. Identifying yourself as a person that lacks confidence and speaking that out loud will only reinforce your learned helplessness. Eventually, it will turn an excuse and then will turn into a prison of regret.

As you build confidence and supporting references, you’ll grow. Eventually, your beliefs will lead you to new challenges, and this will cause an upward spiral, bringing you to new greater versions of yourself. Inadequacy can be remedied through discipline. You have access to unprecedented knowledge (Google). Use it and get better so you no longer feel inadequate. Surround yourself with quality people that will push you to grow. If you want to be outstanding, you have to be willing to stand out.

These resources may be helpful for you.

1. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
2. Total Self Confidence by Robert Anthony 
3. Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins 
4. Mastery by Robert Greene