How To Tell If You’re A Cheater

*Before we get into the nitty gritty of this, everything written below is just thoughts on a subject, not something that’s happened (specifically) or actively happening in my world. Just want to explore it and figure out my own thoughts. Enjoy!

From the time we’re kids we’re told that you shouldn’t cheat on your significant other, but when it comes down to it, what is cheating? Obviously, we include sexual intercourse, but what’s after that? Are there levels of cheating? And in those levels, what are the prescribed consequences? Are there consequences if there isn’t any physical interaction? Is an emotional cheat more or less significant than the go-to intercourse cheat? Wait, there’s something called an, “emotional cheat”?

Buckle up kids, we’re just getting started.

Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t to say that I don’t understand cheating. Cheating isn’t the problem, cheating is the symptom of a relationship with problems. Cheating is one person telling another, in the worst way possible, that they are unhappy. But, allowing yourself to fall into any of the following categories is just as bad as having sex with your girlfriend’s sister at Christmas. Yeah… that bad.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Physical Cheating

Most people define cheating as being sexually unfaithful. At the end of the day, this is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear that guy from work say, “she cheated on me.” You believe the she he’s talking about fucked someone else, right?

But are there levels of physical cheating? On the cheating scale, does a kiss mean less than a fuck? What if it was just hand stuff? “Oh, we just laid in each other’s arms in Central Park, feeding each other grapes, while listening to a violin quartet.” Sorry, went on a lil’ tangent there.

At which level do YOU get uncomfortable, because everyone is different.

Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating is a touchy subject. There are a billion different ways to cheat in this category. Emotional cheating happens when one person puts someone they’re interested in to in a category above their partner. It’s placing their partner in second place on the risers. The two main levels of emotional cheating are conversational and straight up dishonesty.

Also, in the billion different ways to do it, it’s just getting easier. Think about when Snapchat came out, it was a cheater’s dream. Sending dirty pics of your junk to whoever you wanted, whenever you wanted, and then it magically disappeared (also, they definitely didn’t disappear…)?

What about instant messenger, google chat, text messages? As long as it’s digital, does that mean it’s not valid? Are there people out there who actually believe that it doesn’t count if it’s not tangible? Because I gotta tell you, to the person who’s had this done to them, they definitely feel it.

As long as it’s just a text message here and a text message there, does that mean you should lawyer up? Get out? Run?

Where do you draw the line?

Conversational

It’s 2016, how many people a day do you communicate with on a daily basis? 10? 20? 100? Jesus, if you have any kind of following on social media, it’s probably even higher, if you think about view rates and click through.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will break your heart.

I’m a writer. No matter how I look at it, words hurt me more than most. If a significant other is using their words to lead someone on, attract someone else, garner sexual attention, or get praise by another suitor, they’re emotionally cheating. If you need someone else’s attention, tell your partner and leave them.

Dishonesty

Dishonesty, deception, lies, misrepresentation, etc. The second you lie to a partner about another “interest,” you’re cheating. Welcome to the club, asshole.

When you get into this territory, you’re actively telling someone that you don’t respect them, but you’re doing it in a way that only you know (for the time being). What does it feel like to do that to someone? Do you enjoy yourself? Does it make your relationship better? I highly doubt it.

Closing

Now that we’ve gotten through all the ways people define cheating, let’s hear mine, yeah?

My definition of cheating is, the moment you do something that you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling your significant other about (specifically, about the opposite sex (or same, if you’re into that kinda thing)). And, now that I think about it, I guess this falls right into the dishonesty category above. If you’re dating, engaged, married, whatever, you should be able to be you, be yourself, and be honest. The second you compromise that, you compromise everything. The person you’re with deserves your very best and in turn, so do you.

I’m extremely rigid on this thought process, because, why wouldn’t I be? Why half-ass something that, in a perfect world, lasts forever?

What are your thoughts on cheating? Do you believe a relationship can last through someone mentally or physically ripping your heart out? Personally, I do not, but call me a romantic.

Comment away and find more from my twisted brain HERE.

Thanks!