Jason Wynters – Medium

Jason Wynters

Jason Wynters

Wingardium Raviola!

My parents added cans to their stock of 200 water bottles and enough toiletries to cover years of accidents from polyuria and dysentery…

2 min readMay 3, 2024

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Wingardium Raviola!

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Jason Wynters

Moody Model #69

I’d rather cut off my tits and go homeless than ever wear SHEIN again. No one believes I haven’t eaten in three weeks, and I see no point…

1 min readMay 2, 2024

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Moody Model #69

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Jason Wynters

Sweet Potatoes

Right now I’ve got about 210 calories’ worth of sweet potatoes. Let me put them on a scale. Let’s see how much these weigh. I know one…

2 min readApr 13, 2024

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Sweet Potatoes

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Jason Wynters

Bare Feet Zone

Unsheathe Ya Feet

1 min readFeb 19, 2024

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Bare Feet Zone

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Jason Wynters

It’s Not Easy to Be Me, Gentle

I’m Gentle, and I’m lonely pretty often. No one wants to be with me. If they come on or happen upon me, most men consider themselves gay. I…

1 min readJan 19, 2024

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It’s Not Easy to Be Me, Gentle

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Jason Wynters

Harder Love for Women (feat. Ariana Grande)

Men need to harden up on women when women get naggy ’cause hard is what the women want. Hard is sometimes necessary, and women sometimes…

1 min readJan 19, 2024

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Harder Love for Women (feat. Ariana Grande)

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Jason Wynters

Why Students Request the Bathroom

They just have to go. They just happen to feel the urge and need to go. Their need has nothing to do with their like or dislike of the…

2 min readJan 6, 2024

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Why Students Request the Bathroom

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Jason Wynters

Impossible Fast Food

I find this new rapid-wrap/hasty-pastry joint, and there’s no way the food’s this fresh and authentic. The lettuce ain’t from a backyard…

1 min readJan 5, 2024

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Impossible Fast Food

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Jason Wynters

Coming to My Senses

Ain’t got epilepsy But I just might seize Even then I won’t stop rhyming My love will never cease It ain’t allergy season I feel the need…

1 min readJan 1, 2024

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Coming to My Senses

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Jason Wynters

Energy Is Real!

I started to exercise — you know, churn up the e-motions — and I gotta say, shit got real. I started to become alive, and hot damn, did…

2 min readDec 31, 2023

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Energy Is Real!

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Jason Wynters

Jason Wynters

I’ll do most things, but I won’t change my own oil. I write everything that comes to mind. Buy me toffee or coffee: https://ko-fi.com/jasonwynters

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