A letter to K

Hey there,

you’re probably wondering why I am writing this in English, considering you only understand German. Why am I doing this then? Well, you don’t give a crap about anything, therefore I don’t care, either.

A few months ago, you promised me a trip to Austria. You have no idea how excited I was for the past months. My childhood dream – to go to a Formula 1 race – would have become reality. I would have gotten out of this hell for a few days, finally enjoying life. You even promised me a drink with a driver and a day in Vienna.

I was ready. Ready for a new beginning. Ready to get over my insecurities and fears.

You didn’t pick me up. You also turned your phone off, so no one can call and ask you what’s up.

My hopes – crushed.

I already sent you many messages, hoping you would read them at some point. You never replied, so I texted your sister. She told me you wanted to visit her today. We were supposed to be at the track in Spielberg today, watching the race. You see where this is going, don’t you?

You did not only lie to me; you also played with your sister’s emotions. Right now, she needs someone. She needed you – you didn’t come. She was still believing in you, although this is not the first time you have done something like this.

Her hopes – crushed, once again.

And this is all your fault.

How can you even go on with your life, knowing that you just played with two people’s feelings? You always want to be there for everyone; you always want to make everyone’s dreams come true. Words don’t mean anything when you don’t even have the guts to act.

Actions speak louder than words.

At first, I wanted to help you because I knew you need some serious help. I wasn’t expecting anything but you to have a normal life again. As soon as you started to make promises, I felt like someone finally appreciates my advices and dumb jokes. My work seemed to finally pay off! It took you one action to destroy everything.

I might be over it by now but since I know that you treat your sister the same way… sorry, you only disgust me. Now I am even glad that we never went to Austria.

You haven’t changed at all. Hell, you have never made any effort to be a better person. You could not even care less about your own sister; and she trusted you the most, despite of all the things you had done to her in the past.

We are done with you. As long as you don’t have the will to change something, we will not stay with you. The trust is gone and we are tired of your behaviour towards us.

And don’t even think about saying something like „I’m so deeply sorry, I have changed“ – prove it first. The more you say something like this, the harder it will get to prove it to others because they simply don’t trust you anymore. We won’t fall for it anymore.

Choose wisely. You either learn from your mistakes or you can suffer on your own. You have to make a decision, no one else.

~ JT
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