How to influence people
“The Interested Challenge”
My experience of learning this chapter was amazing. Before reading this, I was feeling so bored and annoyed that I have to read these 18 pages to complete this project. But when I started reading, I totally got involved in the words of this principle. I was amazed that how a simple principle can earn a lot of friends and love for you.
I started reading the chapter 1: “Do this and you will be welcome anywhere” from How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. After reading this chapter I learned that people are not interested in knowing about you, they only love to talk about themselves. In the chapter, it was written that the New York telephone company conducted a detail survey on telephone conversation to find out which word is frequently used. It is personal pronoun “I”. It was used 3900 times in 500 telephone conversations. People need to know you care. So Ditch started listening. I learned that be a active listener, you can show people that you’re interested in them by eye contact, responding to them, by frequently asking questions it shows them that you are sincere about them, you care about them.
The story of Mr, Thuston in the book, who was a magician shows that how he become successful in his life by two rules. First give priority or attention to audience and second one is that put your personality across footlights. He said “I love my audience” . I also learned that if a person want to show interest in other. He should not be self-centered but give priority and attention to other. Like If a writer does not consider the interest of readers while writing then readers will not read his writings.
When I applied same thing in my project I found the same thing that the idea of being interested rather than interesting is helpful in wining people. Its in human nature that he is hungry for importance. It also has double benefits not only you become well liked by friends, family but you learn more about the people and world around you.
The Interested Challenge :
We were given the interested challenge to better understand the mentality of interviewer to understand why it is better to be interested rather than interesting. To be interesting means that we have some skills, we are capable to do something while siting to another person we only focus on ourselves what we are, what we are doing etc and being interested means that we are interested in knowing others. In interested challenge for the entire 24 hours we have to focus on asking question from others. I used this principle in the last day. And felt like that day was my whole life. The way people respected me, the way they felt free to share anything with me , the way they gave me a feeling of dignity, all this is innumerable. I want to share a story of using this principle. I did this challenge with a boy in my hometown. We use to dislike each other without any reason. I never talked to him, and also never said not even a single harsh word against him and he as well never talked. But I don’t know why we were annoyed with each other. But this time, I showed my interest in him by asking him “how are you” ? And what are you doing these days? As I asked these questions the thunder strikes.
We started discussing stuff and discussed for 4 hours and had dinner together. We discussed about our feelings when we were not friends and we laughed for hours. Moreover, I asked him about his studies, about his likes and dislikes , about his passion etc. I showed keen interest in him that I am passionate to know more about him. And the most amazing thing happened after this conversation was that he started asking questions about me than I realized that it is better to be interested than interesting because if a person shows interest in others , listen to his ideas, concerns, priorities in life and ultimately that person will get interested in you. He also then shared his life experiences with me. Which means that just asking a small question or by just asking about his health and by just taking a little step, we turned into best friends. And I became a true believer of the principle of getting genuinely interested in other people.