I Finally Reached 500 Followers

It only took a year

@lenneek on Unsplash

Wow.

Just wow.

I discovered Medium back in April of 2018, and today, May, 8 2019, I finally hit 500 followers.

A year and a month later I finally reached my two month Medium Goal. I’m only a little late, but that’s ok.

I started Medium strong. Really strong. My articles were showing up in the daily newsletters, my monthly income was increasing, I was writing every day and I was getting my work accepted into a few publications. I was on track to hit my goal of 500 followers in my set timeframe.

Then I fizzled.

Now, I get it, we all fizzle at one point or another in whatever we’re doing, but the determined members among us pick themselves up and push on.

I didn’t do that.

No, I messed up big time. I made the horrendous, debilitating mistake of letting someone else’s opinion shoot me out of the sky, and then I stayed down for far, far too long. I haven’t even managed to get back on both of my feet. I’m not running. I’m at more of a limpy crawl, at the moment.

Imagine, geeking out to someone who is your friend, who you look up to, who is also your business partner, about your Medium success. A new article was accepted to a publisher, you doubled your earnings this month, your other pieces were featured at the top of another newsletter.

Well, that’s insignificant and you shouldn’t be focusing on that stuff.

Shot’s fired. Fire and smoke are billowing around you. You’re going down. You crash headfirst into the cold, hard ground, and though you survived the impact, you self destruct.

How crazy is it that we can allow someone else’s opinion, something that is, in reality, so insignificant in itself, affect us so much. We shouldn’t, but we – in this case, me – are fallible creatures.

Weak.

I was weak.

I had a moment of weakness when I took this person’s words seriously and I let it destroy my momentum, my progress and my success. A year later I still haven’t picked up my stride again. I still barely write on Medium because in the back of my head I just think: this is insignificant isn’t it. I’m not good enough to be on here.

Shut up, subconscious, you don’t get to be in charge here.

Needless to say there’s still a war raging on between the Me who wants to dominate this platform and the Me who still thinks we’re insignificant and not good enough to be here, all because one person said so.

All because I can’t get my head out of the mud and stand the f*ck up despite knowing, objectively, that she’s 100% f*cking wrong. Part of me believes it. Even as I write this article, the bare soul piece of nothing, part of me wants to delete it and go saunter into my day job without hitting the publish button.

But I hit 500 followers.

Someone read and clapped for an article I wrote a couple of months ago and hit the follow button.

Boom.

Maybe this tiny, insignificant moment is the kick in the ass I need to get my shit together and get back on top. There are those of us who feel like if we’re not on top, if we’re not dominating whatever we’re doing, we’re rolling around in agonising failure.

I’m tired of feeling like a failure. I’m tired of feeling like an insignificant blip in the universe who is only supposed to say yes to everyone else’s needs while ignoring my own.

Don’t be me. Don’t be the person who self-destructs because someone unimaginative and selfish shot you down because they didn’t care about your success. Don’t be the person who lets someone else tie an anchor to your ankle then shrug and gaslight you when you try to defend yourself and cut yourself free.

Don’t be that person.

I may be nearly a year late, but I hit my 500 follower goal. I achieved it. I did it.

You can do it. Whatever goal has been lost in the tresses of the past, dig it up and Frankenstein that shit. Bring it back to life and tear apart anyone who tells you your wrong to do so. Anyone who looks down on your dreams and goals and ambitions, rise above them and let them drown in the shadow of your success while you relish in it.

Be that person.