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Stop Telling Me Not to Stress

The only person it helps is YOU.

Stop telling me not to stress about X.

Stop telling me not to worry about Y.

Stop telling me not to be anxious or nervous.

It’s not voluntary.

It is what it is.

You may feel high and mighty, swinging through and explaining to me how pointless it is to have these feelings, but that doesn’t make the feelings change. It doesn’t make them go away. If anything, it adds to the worry, because now I’m aware of how my state of being bothers you to the point you have to voice it oh so often.

All telling me not to worry does is make you feel better. It doesn’t magically lift the veil of anxiety that I have to wade through on any given day. Or every given day.

It’s wonderful you’re able to just lay back and relax and not have the creeping tendrils of anxiety infiltrate your every thought. Your every move. Your every action. To have them sneak up in the middle of a tv show or a book or drinks with friends.

It’s not voluntary.

My worries are my worries. Ignoring them won’t make them go away. Telling me to ignore them won’t make them go away.

Perhaps I have a lot to worry about. My problems aren’t your problems. Our problems are not equal, and even if they were, I’m not you, I’m me, and I worry.

If you have the resources and ability to deal with your problems so well that you don’t have to worry, then that’s fantastic for you, but that’s not me.

Don’t tell people with anxiety not to be anxious.

Don’t tell people with depression not to be sad.

Don’t tell people who are stressed not to be stressed.

All that does is make you feel better, and them feel worse.

That is not the way to help.

Instead of telling me how to feel, be a rock, a shoulder, a friend. Don’t tell me to be happy, just smile and be happy yourself.

JLRose is a fantasy writer, game designer and 3D artist living in Melbourne, Australia. She’s spent the past three years working on the first book of The Galean Universe and is currently querying to agents. 
She’s also started to dabble in blogs, comics, and erotica oh my!