2015
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I started 2015 with tears. No seriously, I think right after the countdown I started to cry. The person I had a crush on (since ~1998) was kissing someone else. This, combined with too much alcohol, and high hopes after 10 months of long-distance non-stop Facebook chatting (who chats that much without a romantic interest?) broke me. I said things I didn’t mean, and I left the New Year’s party with a serious bang. I deleted Facebook, Instagram and quit alcohol for at least a month — they had all lead to my overreaction and I needed to cut ties with the person to finally get over them. I spent my birthday (the next day) at home in my bathrobe (comfort Queen). My cousin, Kiri, and her boyfriend, Curtis came over with a red velvet cupcake. They took a polaroid of me to go on their wall. My best friend, Andrea, came over with her favourite chocolate bar. I went back to Berlin.
I passed the two year anniversary of my dad’s suicide. It still hurts, I wrote this. I learned a lot about grieving. I met a new mutual friend, Will (he referenced me in his Year in Review here). I used a photoautomat for the first time. I watched The Internet’s Own Boy and felt incredibly inspired (but also angry, sad and frustrated).
I went on a lot of adventures to Abandoned Berlin sites, and joined a book club full of inspiring women. I read a lot. I meditated every day for 65 days using Headspace. I continued to use it all year. I went on my first Tinder dates, saw my first solar eclipse, got rejected from my dream job, and got ghosted for the first time. I opened up the lines of communication between my ex-crush. I forgave him internally without even telling him what he had done. I sent him a song on his birthday.
I went to Istanbul with Kieran — I ate a lot of kebab and lahmacun (turkish pizza). I went to a Hammam, and got scrubbed down by a Turkish woman in her underwear. It was awesome. I went to Madrid and visited Faris and Nora. The amount of lolz we had were off the charts. We ate tapas and pintxos, drank Gin and Tonics, and took a gondola across a field (don’t go on this gondola if you go to Madrid).
I quit my job (hello 3 months notice in Berlin). I welcomed Claire, Mandy and Katie from Canada. I showed them a Berlin-style party and then a German breakfast. We chilled…a lot. I welcomed another visitor: Spencer, from London. I met his friend, Kyle. We stayed in touch. I cut off all my hair and donated it to charity.
I surprised my mom in Oakville for the last week living in my childhood home. She didn’t recognize me when I got out of the car, then she cried. We had a big party to say goodbye to the house. My high school friends came, so did my friend Nora. I was happy to be home and spending time with these people.
My ex-crush took me out for a drink. He confessed that he had had a crush on me for the past 10 years. “You know this is mutual, right?” We kissed on the lips for the first time, I exploded. His name is Michael.
We went on our first date, I saw my brother graduate from his MBA, I told my brother about my crush — it’s his best friend. Michael and I decided to make it official. I went back to Berlin.
I ran my first organized 10K, I went to Fusion Music Festival and tried using a She-Wee (or Fusionella) for the first time — it was a fail. I felt what it was like to be far away from the person you love.
I prepared to leave Berlin. I had a going away BBQ at Volkspark Friedrichshain. It was a fun afternoon. I said goodbye to a lot of people without knowing when I would see them next. That was difficult.
I traveled to Croatia — Dubrovnik Hvar & Zadar by myself. I learned a lot about where I was at in my life and what I wanted to get out of traveling. I swam in the Adriatic, freezed my ass off at Plitvice National Park in the pouring rain and went on a bicycle/kayaking tour through Kornati. I ate the freshest squid of my life and listened to the sounds of the sea organ in Zadar while the sun set.
I spent a day in Marseille before starting my workaway in Uzes. I met wonderful people, ate well, practiced my French, learned how to garden and fell in love with this part of France. I spent a week with Yvan and his family at their home in the same town. I developed meaningful relationships with his family members and was overwhelmed by their generosity and kindness.
I went to Paris and remembered my time spent there with my aunt, Margaret, my dad, John and cousin, Jennie before my aunt died. I returned to Berlin to finally reunite with Michael.
I picked Michael up at the airport with a mix of anxiety and excitement. Our first time seeing each other in 3 months. I showed Michael my favourite parts about the city, introduced him to some of my closest friends, and took him to eat my favourite foods. I told him I loved him for the first time.
Together, we went to Copenhagen and Iceland. We ate at Relae in Copenhagen and drank Mikkeller beer at pubs. We spent 11 days in a RAV4 traveling the ring road in Iceland. We drove to Askja on F-roads, we did river crossings, we went in a lot of hot springs, and we laughed a lot. We flew back to Toronto together.
I started looking for a job, I moved in with Michael in Toronto. My mom and I found our cat who had been missing for six weeks. He had almost died. I struggled in the job search, faced rejections and a lot of confusion about what I wanted. There were a lot of tears. My friends and family were incredibly supportive. Michael and I bought a lot of plants.
I started volunteering with IMAlive, an online chat network for people in crisis. I have helped a lot of people and learned a lot in the process.
I went on a road trip to Florida with my brother, Alan. We visited our friend Nora in New York. I saw how much she had been through with a liver transplant a few months earlier. I realized how naive I had been to how serious her situation was. I am happy she survived and grateful for all the laughs we will still have together. We watched an animated film — it was one of my best trips to NYC ever. We also had a sweet free parking spot.
I returned to New York again for American Thanksgiving. I saw Faris and Nora and Alan came with me. We ate a lot of bagels. Nora and I also watched a few episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The weather was phenomenal. I reconnected with my friend Nick over Moscow Mules and pickles.
I celebrated Christmas with the Mori family, and Michael celebrated with mine. We went to Mexico together with Alan and my cousin, Dave. I learned how to kitesurf. Dave and Al taught me, then I took some Jet-Ski lessons. I met some amazing people and had the best trip of my life.
Michael and I concluded 2015 with thoughts on how much could change in a year. I am so lucky to have traveled as much as I did, met new people and experienced new things. I’ve also been overwhelmed with the kindness and support of all the people in my life. It doesn’t hurt to love and be loved by someone as special and amazing as Michael either.
