P.O.V: Learning to fight my separation anxiety.
My childhood was quite interesting. It taught me how to be emotionally dependent on others, but why? I never received my father’s love, so it’s evident that I have daddy issues. But that’s not the issue. What created a mess in my life is that I always searched for that love in other people, and when they tend to leave, I get anxious. It began when I was a 6-year-old child and became worse when I had to leave my dad’s home with my mom and older brother. I was constantly worried about mom and would be filled with dread when she had to go somewhere without me and my brother.
As I grew up and came back to my dad’s home, I remembered how I used to fight with my ex-boyfriend and friends when I was a teenager because they couldn’t be with me all the time. My ex used to ghost me whenever we had an argument. Whenever I entered a relationship or made friends, I started getting anxious, like, “What if they leave me?” or “What if I’m not good?” What if I won’t be able to survive without them?
Life throws us all sorts of curveballs, and we never know how we will react until we are in the midst of the situation. Although I consider myself a highly independent person, I’m also someone who gets separation anxiety whenever someone close to me leaves my sight.
You must have heard about the term “separation anxiety.” It’s widespread these days, but no one likes to talk about it, so people may neglect it. Recently, I have been dealing with separation anxiety, something I never expected to experience. It has been difficult, but I am learning to fight back.
I realized that my separation anxiety was not something that would go away overnight. I didn’t realize it until my most recent relationship. That’s when my ex-boyfriend stepped in. He knew how much I was struggling, and he offered to help me through it. He would set aside time each week to chat with me and listen to my concerns. He would also reassure me that it was going to be okay and that I would eventually move on and find happiness. My ex-boyfriend helped me fight separation anxiety. His kindness and support reminded me that I was not alone and that I could eventually move on with my life.
After two years, it became a long-distance relationship. I often found myself struggling to be apart from my ex-boyfriend, even for a short period of time. When he used to go out for the shoots, I couldn’t help but worry about his safety and whether he would come home safe. It’s a feeling I couldn't shake.
It was like an invisible force that was constantly weighing me down. I was constantly worrying about how he was doing and what he was thinking. I even found myself checking his social media accounts to see if he had moved on or if he was still thinking about me. It results in me ending my relationship. One of the most challenging aspects of the breakup was dealing with separation anxiety.
It has been a long road for me, but I am proud to say that I have made progress in dealing with my separation anxiety. I still get anxious when I have to visit public places alone, even my favorite café, but I am now able to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. I remind myself that this is a normal feeling and that it is okay to feel this way. I use this time to explore new places, meet new people, and learn new things. It can be hard to accept that I will not always be able to be with my beloved ones and close friends, but I am learning to embrace the opportunities that come from being away from them.
POV: Separation anxiety is still something that I grapple with, but I am taking steps to better manage it. I am proud of my progress, and I am optimistic about the future. To this day, I am forever grateful for my ex-boyfriend’s help during that difficult time.
