Evanescence by volition builds happy Memory Palace .
Shift + Alt + delete serves the sanity of a person and the environment.
What is Evanescence by volition ?
Selective forgetting the things , people words , situations or circumstances by volition ( will ) which make us feel bad and which in turn lead to negative zone is called Evanescence by volition.
Out of sight and out of mind is definitely a boon if developed consciously to evade the displacement of Negative emotions which in turn impact the overall psychological health of a person and the environment.
We cannot control a person not to scream at us for no reason as it is his/her psychological dwelling on which we have no influence , but , yes we can control our behaviour i.e., To respond instead to react .
Evanescence by volition encourage a person to respond to an outrageous or discomforting scenarios by storing only good about the event/ scenario and there by developing Emotional agility.
The story of Maggie
Maggie works as an Associate in a reputed Audit firm. She is very talented , client centric and Easy approachable .Her boss Shereen is a perfectionist and is very detail oriented . Shereen is tough task master.
Maggie has bagged very plush client account . The top leadership organised a felicitation party as a token of appreciation for the efforts kept in by Maggie. Shereen could not digest the attention being given to her subordinate overriding her supremacy. After the party Shereen asked Maggie to present in detail about the pricing calculations arrived by her in the client account . Maggie explained in detail with a PPT , detail costing of all the resources required preperation of client' s Audit report . Shereen said she is not satisfied with her presentation and that she lacks computational skills and humiliated her infront of other colleagues.
What options does Maggie have to build her memory Palace about the event?
Option 1 Store the negative event in her memory palace .
Action : React to the humiliation as Maggie was not able to forget about last night of Shereen’s thrashing.
Outcome : Maggie took humiliation deep to her heart , developed self- doubt about her ability , carried this as luggage with her everywhere i.e., home and office . At home ,she vented this frustration on her little brother. Anger displacement is a vicious circle and carries from one person to another disturbing the peace and tempo of the place and people . At office , she could not keep up the pace of work and ultimately missed the client’s deadlines.
Option 2 Store two Good events in her memory palace
- Bagging the plush client account
2. Felicitation party by leadership.
Action : Respond to the humiliation
Outcome : Maggie exercised Emanescence by her volition i.e she did shift+alt+ delete the humiliation by Shereen . Doing this her Sanity is locked and there by carried only good memories with her where ever she went i.e., home and office. At home she gifted chocolates to her little brother . Her brother was enticed about her achievement and was inspired to become like her when he grew up . At office she worked with all gusto and finished project way before deadline . The client sent the letter of appreciation to both Maggie and Shereen for the dedication towards their project. Shereen too felt happy and overwhelmed , realised her mistake and offered apology to Maggie for being irrational with her in the Past.
Maggie chose option 2 to Evanescence
Selective forgetting the bad episodes of past and storing only good memories helps in having beautiful Memory palace . It helps in developing emotional agility and enables well-being of ourselves in specific and Environment in general.
How can we cultivate habit of building
Conscious ,happy and beautiful Memory palaces ?
1.Neuroplasticity :
Brain plasticity, also known as neuroplasticity, is a term that refers to the brain’s ability to change and adapt as a result of experience.Neuro refers to neurons, the nerve cells that are the building blocks of the brain and nervous system, and plasticity refers to the brain’s malleability.
2. Neuro linguistic programming :
NLP tries to detect and modify unconscious biases or limitations of an individual’s map of the world.Instead, it operates through the conscious use of language to bring about changes in someone’s thoughts and behavior.
Conclusion : An event or scenario has always two sides like coin the good and bad , what we store in our Memory palace makes all the difference , i.e., bring chaos or peace with in us and to the world.
Jayasri Tangirala, Counseling Psychologist, Founder Beyond wellbeing .
jayasriramesh@gmail.com
Pic courtesy : Taken from public domain
Disclaimer : Names used in the story are fictional.
