Newspapers Fail Because They Don’t Contain News

Hey, here’s an idea. What if newspapers actually contained real news?

On a recent morning I grabbed the USA Today as I do. I get most of my news online as you probably do as well. But I still read a newspaper every single day. I’ve read a newspaper pretty much every day of my entire life. I know that makes me hopelessly old school.

Usually, when I’m at home, I read the Herald Times, which is the local newspaper for Bloomington, Indiana. I get The New York Times on the weekends.

When I’m traveling, of course, I typically get the USA Today because that what happens in airports and hotels and things like that.

It says right here in the USA Today, its says right there that it is the nation’s news. It’s right in there — the nation’s news. That’s what they go by.

Here’s what the nation’s news has to say today. We’ve got a lot of things going on around the world — Ukraine and earthquake and all kinds of other things.

Here’s the head of the Life Section. Which is your favorite avenger?

Or if your life was at risk, which avenger would you want to come to your rescue? Look how big this is. This is half of the first page. Seriously?

Look, I know USA Today is light-hearted fun and all that. But we’re spending half a page on which avenger you would want to come save you?

Let me just point something out. These are fictional characters. This is not an actual scenario. How about which aid organization would you like to come to your rescue if you’ve been in an earthquake in Nepal?

I understand that we celebrate the celebrity culture. I understand that big movies are a big deal in this country.

But you know what? This is a newspaper that has the balls to say they’re the nation’s news on the front page and then waste this much ink on that kind of issue, which is not an issue at all.

At first, I thought maybe this was some kind of weird native advertising program. I had to actually think for a second. Wait does Gannett own Disney, or does Disney own Gannett? Or does Marvel Studios somehow own a piece of USA Today or vice versa?

I had to untangle the corporate knot and realize that no, there is no cross ownership here. There’s no actual money at stake as far as I know. It’s just that the USA Today believes that this is the most important thing going on even in the Life Section.

How come newspapers aren’t making money? I don’t know. Maybe because there’s NO MORE NEWS in the paper.

If you like what you’ve read, please take a moment to recommend this read. ☺