How Gender Makes Us Weaker

Thoughts on Gender Roles in Western Society

Staring out across unfathomable depths, I see my brothers on one side, sisters on the other. They call out to each other across this great divide, little realizing that amidst all their gender differences, a viewpoint is the only distance between them.

What does it mean to be a woman, what does it take to make a man? Society dictates our potential at the first signs of sexual development in the womb. It is taught to us in the cradle, and its ideas will be reinforced until we die. So powerful are these concepts that in the silence of a lonely night, we still find ourselves separate from the “other”.

Let’s take a look at this dichotomy in Western society and note that the variety of gender norms across the world already demonstrates a flawed system.

To be a man in Western society is to leave yourself emotionally crippled. Emotions make you weak and men need to be strong. This lends itself to the focus on increasing musculature. Sex is a must and should be seized at every opportunity. Anything that falls outside of this mandate is a threat and needs be destroyed. Aggression is king. Power, its own reward. Men are the shapers of the world and should be looked up to with utmost reverence and authority. If a man deviates from these tenets they are evicted from their status as a man. Where does that leave them? They are given the same status as women.

To be a woman she must be a slave to her emotions. Slender, weak, fragile. Put on a pedestal for men to objectify. Sex is punishable under most circumstances. Any achievement or hard work is seen as cute or admirable, definitely not worthy of praise. Women are to be mindful, quiet, demure. Thinking for herself, distasteful. Standing up for herself, disrespectful. Any deviation puts a women even lower than she started on the ladder of societal worth.

This leaves man with a path of increasing escalation towards hollow ideals, while women get to run behind them, their wings clipped. One side running in fear that they won’t measure up, the other told that they never can. The emotional impact of this system leaves both sides broken, both left with impossible standards on who they can and should be.

A core element in determining what is appropriate is sex, not just the kind between people’s legs, but the kind they engage in with others. Within the last couple of decades a trend has started amongst some males. They openly take on attributes once exclusive to women. They care about fashion, about their appearance. They enjoy shopping and spending money on ‘frivolous’ things. No longer able to be called men, society has given them a new classification. Metrosexual. Notice how even though none of the qualifiers have to do with sexual orientation the terminology includes it. This helps reinforce the derisive mindset that real men are straight. The inverse happens with women too, except that it is once again men that decide. They don’t even get new terminology. Instead the oppression is far more transparent. If you are a woman who is strong and assertive you are called a lesbian. Another example, if you are in a position of power you must have slept your way there and, maybe, are also a lesbian. Either way, women get dropped into that special ‘less than even a woman’ classification. Gender is inextricably fused with sexual orientation. To gain freedom in one and not the other is likely impossible.

As we progress as a society, we are seeing gender limitations beginning to shift and change. While this is a sign of hope, we should keep in mind that this is nothing new. History is full of examples, pants for women, long hair for men. High heels use to be exclusive to men’s wardrobes, having since been deemed feminine they are of course no longer acceptable. The gulf will always be between us until we realize it only exists in our minds. Humans decide what gender means. This is why classifications change over time and distance. We have bought into a system that only exists to give power to some and take it from others. This is what gender is, not our sex or who we are attracted to. We are free to like what we want, to feel what we want. All we need to do is ignore the systems restrictions, and know that the only people who have power over who we are are those we give that power.

Gender equality is the absence of gender.