My Girlfriend is Ugly When I Get Close to Her. So, I Do This…

Ugly Truth on Relationship And the Solution

Relationship matters. Period. End of Story.

It’s the root of our existence.

It’s the basis of all the human worlds.

I am not talking about the relationships with the people you hooked up with, one night, at a club, or on Twitter, but the relationships that we deeply care about.

Postive

  1. Back in the day, we survived the saber-toothed tigers without the pistols, because of the relationships in the tribe we belonged to.
  2. Fast-forward to now, what we enjoy the most is just hanging out, talking shit with the people who we understand and know well, and vice versa.
  3. Some nerds might say playing games is what they enjoy the most, not hanging out. I would reply back to them “Do it alone. And let’s see if it’s still fun.”
  4. Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat are the most profitable companies currently. They are based solely on the human nature or desire to like more people and be liked more by others.

Here are also some negative examples that prove that this ‘relationship’ thing matters the most.

This feeling is the savage that kills people the most.

Negative

  1. When we break up with long-time girlfriends or boyfriends, life is meaningless. It’s painful.
  2. When we lose some close friends and families by the accidents, it’s the end of the world.
  3. When we don’t think we have the connections or the bonds with anybody, we choose death. (Loneliness, hands down, one of the biggest killers in the world, not bad people who misuse or abuse guns.)

It’s everything for everybody in many ways.


We do this quite often…

But, we talk shit behind their backs and complain about the bad things, being with them.

Let’s admit that we all have said some shit without their presence. Or we ,at least, have thought something nasty about them in the privacy of our minds.

I will admit up front that I can think of many, many annoying things with the 3 people and 1 dog that I spend the most time with, love, and “hate”.

Mom gets under my skin multiple times a day for whatever reason.

Dad writes me off as a kid, and want me to act like a grown-up when that’s convenient for him. And, that double standard pisses me off.

My girlfriend takes too much maintenance work to keep her happy. And I have to be careful and walk on eggshells when she’s in a bad mood, which happens quite some times.

My dog likes me, only when I give him the food.

It’s the same for my best homies.

Yeah, I see the crap inside of you sometimes like you do to me.

I see the ‘thorns’ because they are too close to me for some time.


Why?

Ugly Rose Photo from Google Images

It’s because relationship is a like beautiful flower, especially rose.

When we get closer, we see the thorns.

When are not that close, they are beautiful roses.

I want to touch and play with or hang out with beautiful roses even though they have thorns.

But they have thorns…

I want to get close, hug, and kiss them.

But I genuinely don’t like the prickles that poke me when I am in close proximity with those flowers.


Simple Solution:

Get away from the pricks. Get far away from them.
Leave them alone.
More important, you need to let yourself alone.
It’s OK. It’s just for a while.
Then, again, you will notice their true identities which are beautiful flowers.
They were beautiful flowers in the first place.
And they still are.
It’s just you that couldn’t see the beauty in them.

We need to get away from our loved ones.

We need our personal space.

We need only-me-time. On a regular basis.

Schedule it in your calendar.

In that me-time, we get to unload the heavy baggage that comes with the relationships off of our backs.

We become ourselves.

You don’t need to pay attention to what others think about you. No ponder upon your misbehaviors, either, in that window of time.

Not giving a fuck about anybody and anything even for a day, and being with all the responsibilities unloaded is healing.


“We are ‘social’ ‘being’s, like it or not.
When you get sick and tired of being ‘social’ and start to see the ugly in your loved ones, it’s time for ‘being’ yourself, man.
We are not just ‘social’.
We are not just ‘being’, either.
We are both ‘social’ and ‘being’.
We need to take care of them both.”

It’s been quite a while since I got adamant about scheduling me-day in advance. It’s usually every Tuesday for me. I keep the distance with anybody and anything. Even, I use the phone minimally that day.

By taking it regularly, I believe that I get along much better with my family wth much less friction.

With this act of getting some space intentionally, me and my girlfriend don’t fight as often, and I personally think it’s the engine that keeps the fire on strong in this long-time relationship, which is heading towards the 10-year mark.


P.S. a) Respect others’ me-time, as well. b) My girlfriend is not ugly even in the close distance. Quite the opposite.
“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.” 
Alphonse Karr, A Tour Round My Garden

[If you liked it, please pass it along to someone who needs their own time.]

[I talked about love today, so give me the heart❤️️ by clicking it with your finger below. I feed off of the hearts you give.]

[Me and my girl actually broke up a month ago, and got back together. I wrote the “letter” to her on this blog. Check it out by clicking HERE. This is the most read one, even though I didn’t want it to be public at first.]